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The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 3:03:56 PM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

My only reference att his point are the male subs though I am sure our darling ladies out there can write in on this as well--so here goes"

' i don't know, We last spoke 2 months ago and I am not sure where we stand"

" i told her we had to share our costs, that was 6 weeks ago and i have not heard from Her'

"well i am collared, well i think so, its been xxx weeks, and i have not heard..."

" well i am under consideration, but we haven't spoken"

HELLOOOOOO My darlings, do you not see what has happened, are you so so so lonely that you cannot see that things have gone poof---I HATE to hear this, I hate hate hate to hear the stories of the.." i belong to Mistress Goddess Hoopppa Doopppa from PupppaGoa" and then----nada--

now My esteemed colleagues--do don't start with the, get out to a real event---because (A) many cannot---I mean are there D's events in places like Bono, Ohio: Mexico, Missouri; Doo Town, Tasmania; (B) not everyone has the nerve to get to an event- or (C) they arent to everyone's liking-I mean in My area I do but its so Dom centric and the whole cum on command now scenario is annoying--

however, submissives, can you not see what is, well obvious, or does it hurt too much, does this crazed thing called the screen mean so much, give so much hope that a single ping means hope? I do not make fun, you all know that, however, why is it that here, ( well from online)--you allow treatment that you would not normally?? Do you feel that by the very fact you are a submissive you deserve to be a rug?

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

Post #: 1

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 3:05:25 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

People are lonely and cling to false hope. Very sad.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 2

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 3:21:42 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It's not a submissive thing. It's a person thing and women in general seem to really take it to heart. Hence the popularity of the excellent book "He's Just Not That Into You".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 3

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 3:35:44 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

LadyHh, I think those whom you cite in your example are often subs who have no experience, no idea that it's perfectly acceptable (and desirable) to be strong people with strong goals and common sense. They get taken advantage of by online / user Dom/mes instead of getting good lessons and the opportunity to grow in their submission, and so the pattern continues. It makes me sad.

< Message edited by batshalom -- 4/6/2008 3:36:51 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 4

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 3:53:57 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I think part of the problem is that some people like the look and feel of protocol. They enter into protocols without really understanding what it means. That is the only explanation for the "I think I'm collared, but I'm not sure" or the "Is he still my master if I've not heard from him in two weeks?" stuff.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to batshalom)

Post #: 5

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 6:46:44 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's not a submissive thing. It's a person thing and women in general seem to really take it to heart. Hence the popularity of the excellent book "He's Just Not That Into You".

I've given that book to so many people. I think it's simply human nature to make excuses rather then admitting failure (which to me isn't failure but part of the weeding process). Luckily, I don't have that much patience.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 6

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/6/2008 7:47:48 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor
however, submissives, can you not see what is, well obvious, or does it hurt too much, does this crazed thing called the screen mean so much, give so much hope that a single ping means hope? I do not make fun, you all know that, however, why is it that here, ( well from online)--you allow treatment that you would not normally?? Do you feel that by the very fact you are a submissive you deserve to be a rug?

Speaking from the 'been there, done that' segment, all I can say is it may partly be that phenomenon called 'sub frenzy.' When I was new to the scene, I jumped at every Dom who contacted me. In the course of five days I was nearly collared by as many Doms/Masters. After each contact, however, my common sense slapped me across the face and said, 'Silly sub! In the first place, this is not what you're looking for. In the second place, collaring or accepting submission does not take place on first contact.' I would shake the fog out of my brain and push reset. After several such scenes, I decided I'd be friendly with Doms who contact me, but nothing deep and 'meaningful' until we know each other.

pip, able to weed out a lot of would-be masters that way

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 7

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 3:49:04 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

In my last relationship I didnt really speak to him for about three weeks, but due to the nature of the relationship i did speak to the other party virtually every day. However even in that situation I did make it clear that it cant be considered a relationship if I dont speak to him so i was only in the relationship with her (gosh what a tangled web we weave) However I didnt see it as a lost cause, not really and that probably was due to a bit of disillusionment and misplaced hope and all that.

In general terms sometimes its hard to know what to think in D/s its not easy to just walk away from it, if they arent contacing you maybe there is a reason for it, if you push it will they be disapointed in you yadda yadda. For me I started to think well I understand the reasons for it and thats fine and its not his fault however its NOT the sort of realtionship I can be in because i need a bit more.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 8

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 5:14:11 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Mmmmm I would like to apoligise to most of the subs out there. I am stringing so many of you along that I forget who you are. For the people who are reading this. Quit bitching. If it were not for me you would have no pity post to read.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 9

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 5:22:34 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

On the other hand you have the people who are also very fast to take a few days of non-contact as the other party being disinterested and moving on, when something came up in real life as well. The internet has made some people very jumpy, ready to dump everything if they dont have someone who says hello each and every day. The others hang on to what they hope is going to happen, blaming everything they can think of to give themselves reasons someone is out of touch rather than admit they might have lost interest. It isnt a sub thing, like Aqua said.
I regularly go a week or so without talking to Angel, but I know what his reallife situation is and why he is out of contact. Were that to happen with Fox, Id be extremely concerned. It is too easy to make assumptions aross the board and asume that becasue one came back after 2 weeks, they always will.

My 2 sleepy cents
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 10

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 5:40:14 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

But you can do that when you know the people you are involved with, and you are secure with yourself and the relationship.

I have a friend who absolutely needs multi-daily contact. At least she recognizes this and tells potentials that she can't handle sparatic communication.

m'Lord doesn't always have time to contact me on a daily basis, but he always tells me when his scheudule is hectic and often times we talk more frequently then he predicts.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 11

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 7:08:43 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Warning. I'm not good Dom material for a clingon.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 12

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 7:18:46 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Sometimes desparity clouds common sense for some.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 13

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 7:26:29 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I've told her that I could not maintain a relationship with a person who has her expectations.

I have little patience with waiting for the unknown, but I have all the patience in the world for letting a relationship unfold naturally and evolve on it's own timeline (so long as it is evolving and not stagnating). I prefer a more passive approach with building the relationship, allowing him to be the assertive one when he feels it's time to move a step forward. I know many women would rather feel more proactive about their relationship building, but I'm comfortable with this approach as I then know that he's comfortable with how it's going and isn't just going along with my desires to appease me. Of course my lack of patience with stagnation balances this out too for if the relationship isn't evolving nor is he being assertive in moving forward, then the relationship dies a natural death.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 14

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 11:42:43 AM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

ok, we've established its silly for an s-type to sit there till they're covered with dust, patiently awaiting the dominant who has gone on about their merry way.

what about the opposite? the dominant who has been told that no, its not working, i wish you luck in your future ventures, who comes back some months later and expects the sub/slave to fall at their feet again, happy for a chance to submit when they didnt in the first place?

cause...been there, had to politely give the same speech a second time. not fun for either of us.

kitten

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 15

RE: The Alarm is Ringing - 4/7/2008 10:07:51 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

ok, we've established its silly for an s-type to sit there till they're covered with dust, patiently awaiting the dominant who has gone on about their merry way.

what about the opposite? the dominant who has been told that no, its not working, i wish you luck in your future ventures, who comes back some months later and expects the sub/slave to fall at their feet again, happy for a chance to submit when they didnt in the first place?

cause...been there, had to politely give the same speech a second time. not fun for either of us.

kitten

It's even less fun when he comes back expecting you to greet him with relief because he's 'so much better and more real' than all the other doms out there (including the one you're in conversation with right now).

pip, wearin' the t-shirt

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 16

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