|
Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Bad Idea (4/6/2008 9:36:21 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: TheLookingGirl
Ever played on the other side of things? Tried being submissive?
Back in my young and impressionable days, I was a submissive. But not a submissive for the right reasons -- I chose to submit to those I was with because I was utterly convinced that if I did not do everything that they told me to do, regardless of my own feelings towards it, that they would leave me. During that span of time I subjected myself to all sorts of abuse without realizing it for what it truly was, all because of this fear of being alone.
And then... Pyrrsefanie grew up, and realized that this was not the way things should be.
I gained confidence and a strong sense of self that I was lacking during my submission, and once all the pieces of me fell back together into a complete girl, I realized that this was not the droid I was looking for. This is not to say that all female submissives are immature, or have poor self-confidence, or anything like that, only that there are some people out there who submit for the wrong reasons. I was one of them.
It's my belief that younger women, especially those who have not had a positive model for a relationship, are more susceptible to submitting out of fear and co-dependency than older, more experienced women who have been around the block enough times to learn that there is no point to denying themselves. Some never grow out of it and are put into serious danger of being used and abused in bad ways. Some are lucky enough to find a dominant to guide them on their path, and eventually are able to submit in a safe, sane, and consensual sort of way. And still others will grow out of their "scared little girl" stage and realize that hey, they've been on the wrong side of the flogger all this time.
The experience I've had, however, has been invaluable. It's allowed me, in some ways, to get inside my boy's head and understand the effects that submission can have on a person. Aftercare is much more personal to me because I remember laying there after a particularly intense scene and needing to be held. And it's given me a good measuring stick as to what's going too far -- my personal theory is that if I, myself, would not allow something to be done to me, I will not ask my darling to do it, either.
Also, the guy you're discussing in the OP sounds way too pushy for my tastes. Be cautious. No one should ever try to tell you what you are -- you're the only one who can decide that for yourself.
|
|
|
|
