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Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:10:44 PM   
SinCityDomCpl


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		Has anyone else had such a hard time finding a quality mate? I mean even with the internet (which is suspose to make things easier and help more people connect) it has been really hard. I don't know what We have been doing wrong. If you met your mate on Collar Me, please tell me how you did it. How long did it take?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:13:00 PM   
metamorpha


Posts: 35
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		I met my Daddy here.  It started with a very general conversation.  He was from a city in my home state that I had never heard of before so I asked Him where it was.  We became friends first, decided to meet in person to see how things went, and now I am collared.

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:14:12 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I met Master on CM when I emailed him about his journal entries, which had touched me. 

I see from your profile that you're a couple looking for a submissive - definitely a hard thing to find.  I have to assume you've been looking longer than your join date of 3/23?  Or is that when you started your search?

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:14:45 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		you've been on here 2 weeks, i think a little more patience will do you well.  i'd imagine a few months would be more of an ideal minimum to expect.  try putting yourselves out more or be more open?  staying on the forums a bit could help~  i think my 2 cents would just be in working on your profile some more.  good luck.


< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 4/6/2008 5:16:29 PM >

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:20:08 PM   
StormsSlave


Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline 		*Message removed by Her Lord*

< Message edited by StormsSlave -- 4/6/2008 5:21:27 PM >

_____________________________

Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!

--nobody's resident anything.

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:24:08 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinCityDomCpl

Has anyone else had such a hard time finding a quality mate? I mean even with the internet (which is suspose to make things easier and help more people connect) it has been really hard. I don't know what We have been doing wrong. If you met your mate on Collar Me, please tell me how you did it. How long did it take?


Lucky rock....
 
Ahem....... your dilemma. As the others have said, it takes time. Especially if you are indeed looking for "quality". Hell, you may get lucky, and find someone tomorrow...... but if not, is that any reason to whine? Buck up, keep looking, and hope for the best.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:25:06 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline 		Uh... 1 post, and uh 12 (lets be nice and call it 13) days on site and already a giver-upper...
Yeah... You'll get what you're really looking for. NOTHING!

Just my copper.

*edited to add*
I haven't look... but at a guess...
If you've put as much effort into your profile as you have your search... I'm guessing your reaping ALL the ladies...
2 more copper for ya.

< Message edited by HerLord -- 4/6/2008 5:27:53 PM >

_____________________________

"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

(in reply to StormsSlave)
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RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:28:21 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Think about how difficult it can be for some people to find a vanilla or traditional partner.

Now multiple that by every kink activity, interest, dynamic and fantasy you have and toss in more time for every degree it differs from mainstream society.

If you came to BDSM because you thought it would be easy to find a partner, you came to the wrong place.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:32:54 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
If you came to BDSM because you thought it would be easy to find a partner, you came to the wrong place.


that's the very reason i got involved in bdsm =p

i think it's much easier to find someone who has a positive reception to my submissive nature.  in a place like this i can find someone who would appreciate it in 10 seconds.  in a place like this there are people that come looking for me.


< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 4/6/2008 5:38:56 PM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:36:33 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinCityDomCpl
If you met your mate on Collar Me, please tell me how you did it. How long did it take?

Mates... I met both my boys here.

It took me nearly a year to meet Angel. I started talking with him and it took another few months before we met. We have been together for almost 2 years now.

I lucked out with Fox. I met him the day after he joined, I had just ended a new search that had taken nearly 6 months and I had given up on. I have had him for about 6 months now.

Finding a partner is always difficult, finding someone wanting to join a couple is even harder. The internet makes it easier to connect with people, but that doesnt gaurantee that there will be more chemistry when you do so.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:44:09 PM   
Ebonybbw


Posts: 114
Joined: 12/2/2007
Status: offline 		Give it some time.  I have a feeling that you have been around collarme much longer than your screenname.  If you haven't already in your profile be more specific regarding what you two are looking for and use your journal to shout out also.

_____________________________

Mistress Ebony
Miami's Newest Supersized Domme
http://yourebonybbw.googlepages.com/mistressebony

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:47:18 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Its not hard. I met my slaveboy almost immediately. You just need to keep a positive attitude, and be emotionally available. You've only been on CM two weeks. Be patient.
After perving your profile, I see that you make the mistake that is so common here, to people asking why its so hard to find someone: you don't sell yourself!
Instead you just list your preferences and requirements for a prospective partner. That's only half the equation. What do you have to offer a prospective playmate???    Since, by your profile text it seems that you want a no-strings playmate, you need to convince her why she should want to get with you, or even contact you in the first place.
Other things that may be off-putting about your profile:
No picture of the male partner. If you are posting a picture of only one of you (and a fabulous pic, I might add) people are going to wonder about the omission.
Also, you list the local BDSM community under your dislikes. What's up with that? That may give girls pause.
By reading the boards here, it just seems that couples have a harder time here due to the fact that most people are looking for a primary partner, and want to be the primary partner in return. In threesomes, jealousy can rear its ugly head. There just aren't many people here it seems, to whom being a beta slave, or third partner, is appealing.

Rework your profile to tell your prospective playmate more about what specifically will be in it for her, and just be patient. Good luck!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to metamorpha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 5:47:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		According to your profile you have found your mate. Are you looking for someone else and haven;t opened a solo profile? Or are you looking for the elusive bi female who is willing to play third to your couple?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Ebonybbw)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 6:05:13 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		"We are looking for women who are submissive. If you know you are a slut and proud of the fact, then we want you. "

if you want a slut why dont you go to your street corner and get a hooker? it would take you about 5 minutes to find one...your not going to find a slut online.

most women here do not want to be called a slut.  its an offensive word.  being submissive doesnt make one a slut.  your just swingers.  so best place for you is a local bar.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 6:08:24 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Right, huh? It's one thing to call someone a 'slut' in intimate circumstances, in the throws of passion, but quite another to pronounce that one is looking to 'meet a slut'. I agree with you that it's quite offensive, and off putting.



_____________________________



(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 6:17:00 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

the elusive bi female who is willing to play third to your couple


Quite by chance and wonderful luck, I found our "gem" on here.  She is submissive to Daddy and me.  She is only sexually involved with me, since Daddy isn't looking to bust a nut with another girl.  He likes the impact part and I like the sensual topping part, so she gets what she likes, and the parts we enjoy, she also fulfills for us.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why is this sooo hard? - 4/6/2008 8:11:09 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinCityDomCpl
If you met your mate on Collar Me, please tell me how you did it. How long did it take?


A few days for my credit card to go through and then six to eight weeks for delivery! I'm on my third right now and don't trust any but CollarMe brand!

But seriously, I've been on here several years, met a number of people, talked to dozens if not hundreds, spent a year with one girl, and a few months of dating with others. By far I've had more success meeting sub/slave girls in real life or on vanilla dating sites. I think sub women just get so much stuff thrown at them when joining here the odds are heavily stacked against them being able to connect with a real, sincere person within their first few attempts, and at that point it's easy for them to get discouraged and leave, convinced everyone is a fake or an HNG. I don't know if it's the anticipation of finally exploring this side of their personality or the perception that there are "rules" to how it is supposed to happen here, but everyone seems to take both conversation and meeting much more seriously on here than in any other context, to the detriment of their own experience.

As an example, a week or two ago I started talking with a really cool-sounding woman local to me, and she was whip-smart, articulate, funny, we had the same sense of humor, several really fun conversations. If I'd met her in any other context, we'd be out having a beer right now and seeing if the chemistry and friendship carried over, and possibly developed into more. What actually happened is that in the course of 24 hours she decided to move to another city and then disappeared. What happened? Who knows!? I know something like that has never happened to me on any vanilla site or in real life, but its the sort of thing that is so common on here everyone pretty much takes it for granted.

I can't imagine how much worse it must be for a sincere sub female who is putting energy into actively seeking, and has that sort of thing occur on a weekly basis. Odds are, there's a great guy whose message is going unread in her inbox because she just wasted so much energy pursuing a ghost.

Fortunately, we don't have to match everyone in the world, just the one or few people we really need. So you keep looking in as many places possible until you find them.

It's like the old joke: When you've lost something, why is it always in the last place you look? A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 17
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