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MaamJay -> RE: Subspace (4/7/2008 1:33:24 AM)
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I agree with what has been said. The most important ingredient in a journey to subspace is a deep trust in the One who is going to take you there ... and that they know how to bring you back safely! The sub has to be mentally ready to allow it to happen.
OK so let's assume for now that the sub is dying to go to space with You. Yet they're still not getting there. What's wrong? Well, the next ingredient is the type of stimulation. Different things work for different subs, as has been shown here. Darch got there through gentle stimulation ... and it's significant that it came at the end of a stressful day. Obviously he'd already built up quite a high level of stress hormones, all it took was the gentle stimulation to distract his conscious brain barrier ... and off he went. Some people have those sorts of after-effects, others don't (see sub drop later). It may have been that his Mistress was rather surprised to find him "gone" and perhaps brought him back a little suddenly (or it could have been the noise of the party), rather than slowly and gently (I mean that as no criticism, it would be very understandable in the circumstances). Another sub I know frequently drifted off into space just kneeling at the feet of his Mistress brushing Her lovely long hair.
In My experience though, pain is a more "fail safe" approach to subspace than pleasure ... and that's purely because being subjected to pain causes the release of the hormones that take you there, adrenalin and then the endorphins. Takes a LOT of pleasure on its own to get to the endorphins! Makes sense when you think that the body is wired to be far more responsive to danger (pain) than to something that is not harmful (pleasure). However, you also can't just whack people a few times and expect them to be in space. Generally, sudden intense pain doesn't induce space and is a way of avoiding it or pulling people back from it. Which is why, unless You are an expert with a tool that yields very intense sensations such as the cane, it would not be the implement of choice if subspace is Your goal.
Again, from My experience with a number of subs, from watching many others at parties and from my own experience AS a sub, gradually intensifying the sensation seems to be the most successful. So, if it's spanking or flogging, for example, start light, gently warm up the skin. Combining the pain with pleasure can work well too ... after a few strokes of pain, gently caress the skin with Your hands, wiping away the pain and opening up the pleasure centres. However, there are some subs for whom the change in stimulation is distracting, those pain sluts just want You to go harder and harder without the caresses. Ask Yours! Gradually spank harder or flog harder. Keep the chatter to a minimum, though do gently check on them at intervals (keep Your hand on them to maintain the physical connection), make sure they are OK, not safewording etc. You may notice that they will go through a stage when pain seems intensified and they OW!! a lot. A lot of newbie Dominants get scared and make the mistake of giving up at this point! If You want Your sub to space, don't give up, perhaps caress a little more often, but maintain the overall intensity and slowly build it with a few harder thuds interspersed with lighter ones. Gradually You will probably see them arching up as if they want more blows, the OWs will diminish, they will seem more peaceful. They may well have a giant grin on their face! Some Dominants like to have their subs try to count the spanks ... when their counting goes off, that's a good guide that they are getting spacey. Also their answers will generally become quieter, and take longer for them to form. Once they are getting quite spacey they may be unable to say much more than yes or no, some can only shake their heads. Obviously when they get near that state, DON'T rely entirely on them safewording, You must be the judge of how intense the blows should be and how long You should continue. Once they get to that dreamy state there's not a lot to be gained by going more intense, or even necessarily continuing with stimulation. Time to put down the paddle or flogger, and switch into aftercare mode. If they are bound, loosen them, they may well need to lie down. You will need to assist them, they could easily fall otherwise, so if they are bigger than You, probably best to have them in a safer position to start with. They may apparently lose all knowledge of how to get from one position to another, in which case You will need to instruct, guide and assist as necessary. Cover them with a blanket as they will chill easily, caress, cuddle, talk softly and soothingly. Allow them to float back down. Once they are able, sit them up, give them water, some light food. Continue to enjoy the wonderful connection. Some like to talk about it afterwards, others don't. Some just float right off to sleep!
OK I am NOT saying this is guaranteed to work with all subs as that would be a really dumb presumption! However, it and variations of it, has worked with many subs. Worth trying with Yours! There are many other ways too ... humiliation can work with subs that get off on that, I have seen subs go very quickly into space with activities such as needle play, and some just take themselves off into space when in bondage or mummified with nothing else happening. I offer the above only as a suggestion in the hopes that it will serve as a useful guide.
Timewise ... minimum of 2 hours from go to whoah ... it takes time to connect, to warm up, and to gradually intensify. As LadyPact said, after an hour with most subs You are probably just getting past the OW stage and edging towards the dreamy stage. You might spend another 15 mins or so to make sure they are properly floating, then the next 45 mins in aftercare! And I wouldn't recommend making space Your goal in a daytime session when Your sub has to go to work later that day, drive long distances, or sit an exam! Subspace often leads to a good sleep. Or at very least to a loss of concentration ... I am mindful that its effects are similar to some medications that advise of drowsiness, and avoid driving or operating machinery after taking! Be thoughtful about when this should be the goal of Your play. More time is better.
And a final word about sub drop ... which is an emotional crash which can occur up to 2 days after play. It doesn't always occur, not all subs experience it, even those that do, most don't experience it every time. While aftercare seems to HELP to prevent it, that's not a failsafe either. So a sub who is willing to go to subspace should be aware that there is such a thing as drop, and a strategy should be worked out in advance between sub and Dominant regarding contact and support should it occur. Biochemically it makes sense that if you get that high ie your brain chemistry has altered ... there may be a corresponding low before the brain gets its act together and restores normal balance. It can be a very scary experience if a sub has no idea what is happening to them.
And of course, there are related but not the same experiences of Top space and Top drop ... for another thread!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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