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To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 1:51:07 PM   
SinCityDomCpl


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/23/2008
Status: offline 		If you are a single submissive female looking to join a couple can you please tell me what you are looking for?
What things will make you happy in this kind of relationship?
Why are you looking for this kind of relationship?
If you could answer maybe this will help me understand more what I am doing wrong or what is wrong with my profile that scares off the women.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 2:03:51 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have just come from a poly relationship where I was the third. From yuor profile I would say its "I want, you must be, we want, will you" that would put me right off. For a third entering a pre-established couple there are many problems, not saying that the couple dont have problems too but im saying from the thirds perspective, they may feel that they are less important, you have to work hard to make them feel worthwhile, like they mean something in the realtionship, you cant list jsut a load of what you wants its gotta include what you can offer them. Problem is that a lot of couples seeking thirds obviously are doing it totally for themselves the third to them isnt as relevent, they are there to make the pre-exsisting relationship better or whatever, and seriously that can be a lot of strain and pressure, They have to be getting something out of it. 

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 2:06:06 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'll bite.

There is no personal information on your profile, no interests, no hobbies, nothing to draw anyone in.  You seem to suggest that she is going to have to do all the work until a raport is established.  You are 25 and he is in his 40s, that might give people pause.  I think the final remark about the male slave is harsh and superfluous if that's not really what you want anyway.

All in all it's a cold profile.  You expect a lot and your target market is limited.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 2:14:23 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		when i, and i'd imagine the others, mentioned the profile problems before, at least from my point of view...

well your profile says decently enough what you're looking for, but not a single sentence about who you are.  the other problem is that it sounds like it's written by one person rather than a couple, accentuated by the word "I".  i believe it would do you well to not only say what both of you are looking for, but to speak to at least some degree who you both are. 

and while your picture is something that is far from doing wrong <3...
being that it's a couple, and keeping in line with the word both, it's pretty well assured they'll want to see both of you.

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 2:18:37 PM   
toySeeksCouple


Posts: 3
Joined: 4/2/2008
Status: offline 		The photo is very artsy, but it's cold and hard, not really something that feels welcoming.

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/7/2008 2:29:01 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I am not a submissive female looking for the type of situation you describe.

That said, for most of the ads looking for that.. I read them and think ... 'we're looking for a maid, and someone my wife can fuck around with'  I realize you're not saying that but as others have said, what are you offering.

I read your rant, I've  read many of these ads.. and I'll say what I usually say.. you want a body builder, go to the gym; you want someone who goes to church, meet them in church; you want someone who doesn't exhibit the online stuff, go to a dungeon.  While I have an ad here, I actually expect that I'm not likely to find someone here.  Its just a small part of my being OPEN to having someone in my life.  I tell my friends, I go out to events, munches, meetings and play parties.  I put myself out there.

On your profile, as others have said -- what do you have to offer?

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 7:14:02 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I was once poly and when it was time to move on from my first owners looked for another couple in my live community. The disclaimer being I have seen real life couples and seen ones in cyber.

For me when I was open to poly I wanted to be in a complete relationship with equal effort and pretty much a very high percentage of couples, with and without experience, just wanted pieces of me but not the whole while expecting all of me to be there at all times.

My experiences with couples that they often make these mistakes:

Hit on any female submissive who is bisexual regardless if they are actually looking for a poly situation or not. Have to first admit poly is for a very small minority right from the start and realize it might take awhile to find a third.

Want the third to enhance their life often just in some aspects with no effort and sacrifice let alone equal effort and sacrifice for the third.

Want the third’s total commitment but are not willing to care and provide for all of the third’s needs and strong desires.

Even worse then the two above have only thought or communicated what is in it for them with no thought about what is they are truly offering a third before they start to look.

Both in the couple validate each other’s “greatness” and thinks they then do not start from scratch when contacting and dating a new person. If you think there is a problem with male dominants being arrogant they do not hold a candle to most couples.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 7:34:27 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		Its difficult to come into a relationship as third as it is. An established couple is focused on their bond and the third can sometimes feel like a walking talking sextoy who does the dishes. i like coming into a stable relationship and i enjoy the position of 3rd, but especially in the beginning when the infatuation stage is so strong, the 3rd needs even more attention than can be given at times.
If you change your profile to reassure, and honestly feel strong enough in your relationship to be able to devote the time and attention to those under consideration, you may get what you think you want.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 7:34:34 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		Alpha and I originally joined this site for just that purpose... but we found a lot more than just sex partners. for the last few days I've been focusing solely on the forums and Alpha has focused on another site for discussion. Just recently we were contacted by a woman, unsolicited, who didn't match our original "criteria" for a third. We realized that we should be open to all possibilities. And chuckled at the fact that as soon as we were about to just stop actively looking, an opportunity arose.

I don't know if you'd be interested but a swingers club might offer an opportunity for a threesome, though it might not be bdsm related.
-C

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 8:00:34 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		funny profile, nothing offered at all.

_____________________________

Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 8:26:29 AM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		Coming into a well established relationship is really stressful and you have to be very careful at first that the person you are seeking does indeed feel like a person, that you care about and appreciate. I agree that a lot of your problems may have to do with your profile. It doesn't clarify in very good detail what sort of person you are looking for or what would be expected of them, and the big one, what are you offering to them. 

_____________________________

Reality and I had a fundamental differing of opinions. We're currently undergoing trial separation.

Rafters Resident ^_^v

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: To the elusive submissive female who wants a couple - 4/8/2008 8:39:43 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		have to concur with the others - your profile is very unattractive and boring ...nothing exciting to offer to any potential submissive

some couples from what i've heard spend years looking for their 3rd. i got the distinct impression after perving you that you're in a rush to nab yours.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to SinCityDomCpl)
Profile   Post #: 12
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