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sexyuksub -> collar (10/6/2005 3:18:38 PM)
I am novice to being a sub.. As I don't want to rush into being collared please advise what is the normal rules when a collar is first mentioned?

IronBear -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 3:28:19 PM)
If you have made it quite clear that you are not yet ready to be collared, then run like hell and talk to others who will genuinely listen and take note.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 3:30:57 PM)
I kinda agree with Iron. My advice to novices is ALWAYS wait at lesat 6 months before even considering getting into a serious commitment. No one has yet listened to that advice, but I still consider it sound. The only thing you need to know is be honest, be yourself, take your time, understand exactly what you're agreeing to and don't let anyone tell you that you're "wrong" for wanting what you want and making the right choice for yourself. Trust me, there will be plenty of people telling you whats right and wrong. No matter what you end up doing.

IronBear -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 3:42:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 I kinda agree with Iron. My advice to novices is ALWAYS wait at lesat 6 months before even considering getting into a serious commitment. No one has yet listened to that advice, but I still consider it sound. The only thing you need to know is be honest, be yourself, take your time, understand exactly what you're agreeing to and don't let anyone tell you that you're "wrong" for wanting what you want and making the right choice for yourself. Trust me, there will be plenty of people telling you whats right and wrong. No matter what you end up doing. Why thank you Em [:)]. My left knee is in a shit load of pain and I haven't been to bed so I figured I best keep my replies short and basic.

Leonidas -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 3:45:58 PM)
quote: I am novice to being a sub.. As I don't want to rush into being collared please advise what is the normal rules when a collar is first mentioned? Well, the bad news is that there aren't any "normal rules". The good news is that you're old enough to know better, and what your common sense tells you about someone who would rush to make you theirs in whatever fashion, be that a collar or some other way, after a couple of conversations is probably right on. You've been on this site, what, a day? Two? Someone who is already trying to "collar" you is just trying to cut you from the herd before one of the other guys who have mailed you (of which there are probably dozens) beats him to it. Just chalk it up to the fact that there are lots of lonely, desparate people out there, relax, and eventually you'll get to know some people who aren't.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 3:52:24 PM)
But then she'll miss the crazy wild fun of sub frenzy, being actively persued, gaining dozens of "sub sister" friends, having hot hot HOT cyber scenes and real life scenes followed by the misery of being strung along and finding out this is just as crappy as anything else in the world...

fastlane -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 4:18:32 PM)
hmmm, first time a collar is mentioned? Neck size comes to mind, the tinier the neck the less material used, less money . Leather or fabric? Again, less money How many rings on the collar?...studs?...ornaments? OMG..it is so complicated Luv! Consider a ring? Much easier to choose from, Diamond or gold band? Well...I give cigar bands, but it is the thought that counts...right? Wanna a cigar band luv...collar to follow...neck size please?

sweetpettjenny -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 4:30:43 PM)
a collar is in my mind a very serious thing to accept . Its almost like a wedding band. think of the commitment that comes with it when you do accept one.

nephandi -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 4:40:24 PM)
Are we here talking aboute a collar as an symbol of a serious relationship, mutch like an egegement ring, or are we talking aboute a play collar, i have plenty of collars, but my Dom and i even if comitted to one another as in getting married, we have not yet had a collaring ceromny, for a play collar sure, just give him the right size, for a comitment collar, think werry, werry closely for that is a comitment, and if he can not respect you waiting, then, ignore him.

PurrfectCuck -> RE: collar (10/6/2005 8:31:26 PM)
n

Heinz -> RE: collar (10/7/2005 2:08:56 AM)
Why the need of being collard? Do you have a Dom(me) already? If not, first go to meetings, look around and search for the Dom(me) who fits to your desires. Then you discus your desires AND his/hers desires, then you can go on. Heinz

Soulhuntre -> RE: collar (10/7/2005 8:58:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyuksub I am novice to being a sub.. As I don't want to rush into being collared please advise what is the normal rules when a collar is first mentioned? That's easy ... there are none. I know people who weren't collared for years after they met their owner and others who owned the moment they met. I knwo examples of both who have been happily in those collars for years or decades.

MasterBenedict -> RE: collar (10/9/2005 12:57:16 PM)
Think of a collar as a type of wedding ring

Littlepita -> RE: collar (10/9/2005 2:10:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane hmmm, first time a collar is mentioned? Neck size comes to mind, the tinier the neck the less material used, less money . Leather or fabric? Again, less money How many rings on the collar?...studs?...ornaments? OMG..it is so complicated Luv! Consider a ring? Much easier to choose from, Diamond or gold band? Well...I give cigar bands, but it is the thought that counts...right? Wanna a cigar band luv...collar to follow...neck size please? LOL! Your post often crack me up. [:D] I'm not collared yet. I won't be until my Sir and I meet in person and decide during our week away together. If we do, we will sign a long contract and I will get my temporary collar. We will live together for a year, checking every three months on our progress and commitment to each other. At the end of the year, if we both still want D/s, we will have a much shorter contract and a collaring ceremony. I will get my permanent collar that we design and then I will be completely owned by my Sir. But, in the mean time, we have talked a lot about collars. I’m a bit reserved in real life and don’t want to draw attention to myself. I’m also pushing 40 and black leather isn't my thing. So, I have tested my Sir’s endurance in patience in dealing with this issue for me. He wants me to wear one all the time and I want it to be something that won’t cause me embarrassment. We have had a lot of fun and I don’t for a minute forget how lucky I am to have someone that truly wants me to be happy with how I look as his sub.

SimplySubmissive -> RE: collar (10/9/2005 2:28:32 PM)
The first Dom i ever spoke to had some great advice. He said I should go out and educate myself, with books and websites. He gave me a list of some books, as well as some websites, and told me of places to find more books, etc. Also told me to feel free to speak to other Doms and subs when i had questions, as well as asking him. He said that way, i would learn about myself and what i wanted and needed rather than learn about what just one person's opinion was. this is the advice i give to anyone new to the lifestyle. He was a very wise man. Alas... He also had a wife. [;)]

masteravon -> RE: collar (10/13/2005 10:21:42 AM)
I agree that a collar is a committment that you don't take lightly, think of it as getting married. Would you want to commit to someone you just met?

mystictryst -> RE: collar (10/13/2005 10:42:58 AM)
Pita... I won't wear a big collar either... It's been done to death (leather) and it's all black... None the less, my "collar" is a simple gold necklace with a pendant with a symbol of his nickname for me... You could always make a collar that suits you, braided leather with a buckle closure and you could add a "D" ring, if you'd like. This way, you can match it to what you like and it becomes more of a (gasp) fashion accessory and not so "walking the dog" kind of collar.

MasterBenedict -> RE: collar (12/15/2005 11:33:19 AM)
Well, you MIGHT want to change your spelling (what is the normal rules when a collar is first mentioned) change to 'what are the normal rules when a collar is first mentioned' Just being helpful, m'dear

sallysally -> RE: collar (12/15/2005 12:33:39 PM)
i've been with my Master for eight years, married for the last six and i've been in a collar for the last 24 hours. He sprang it on me over a few days and i was nervous as anything, still am, but it is a symbol of ownership and i am owned by Him. It is quite a collar - plain leather, one inch wide, tight as a drum with a padlock at the back and i have to wear it all day at work and i am getting a lot of attention. But this is what Master wants so who am i to complain?

tigress31047 -> RE: collar (12/15/2005 1:13:12 PM)
I just wanted to comment to EmeraldSlave2 that some of us do listen... I am owned and have a play collar of course..Master and I have agreed that waiting a tleast six months and and getting to know each other (better than We already do )is a wise thing as We both take collaring very seriously and a lifetime commitment to one another. If after 6 months things have progressed to that point We will then have that discussion again, nnot before. So anyway ...Yes some of us newbies to listen and remeber what We read here in the forums...thank You . tigress

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