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RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 5:48:03 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Read this...

"You might like to know that i am a big girl and if you don't like it ... the problem is yours, please just keep moving"

Like you said, the problem is his and from your post he has many. Ignore the jerk and focus on the positive people in your life.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 21

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 6:23:35 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I saw that in her profile too. Unfortunately, I find chips on people's shoulders very unattractive.

I have a friend who has been overweight her entire life. That has become part of who she is. I am over weight now but haven't always been, to me it's just what I look like now but has nothing to do with who I am. I can guarantee 2 things: 1) Your life will not become a fairy tale come true if you change your body size, you will still have the same personality and same level of self-confidence and thin women have as many hang-ups and problems that larger women have, they just don't have the obvious excuse to justify them (meaning, weight isn't the magic talisman to happily ever after) and 2) attitude counts for far much more then asthetics. You will find that once you love yourself bottom feeders will know that they can't have an impact on you and won't try, leaving you available for a better quality of relationship.

For the OP and everyone else that can identify with her (and I've been there). Have your pity party, invite as many people as you want to it. Be honest that it is a pity party as people will then know what attire to wear when they come. Do not date, do not begin a relationship uptil you have purged all of the self loathing from you. When you are strong and feel good about yourself you will find that there are people who wish to be with you for you, not because they can't find anything better or have community service that they are obligated to fufil.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to orfunboi)

Post #: 22

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 8:36:33 AM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

The only way some people can make themselves feel better about themselves is by putting other's down. You encountered such a person. I feel sorry for him. How sad and pitiful that he needs to degrade another person to puff out his own chest. Have a chuckle, realize his own short-comings mean nothing to you and move on.

As for the rest of your post, I think you already know the answers to those questions. Yes?

Do YOU think you are a charity case?
Do YOU think it's true that no one could ever love you?
Do YOU think real love is possible?

As for the question of size,Physical attraction does matter. Some people are not attracted to large people.. Other's are not attracted to skinny people. Just know that as a big girl, there are many men who will find you attractive....But ONLY if you find yourself attractive first. If you know you are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside then your self confidence will shine through.

Take care -smiles-

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 23

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 8:49:37 AM

miali

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline

I'm a big girl and my dominant is attracted to plus sized women. He loves me and for him, it's my health that matters. Even though I'm overweight, I exercise, belly dance, teach belly dancing and have a really good outlook on what it is to be a confident plus sized woman. He's never been attracted to those "poor me... I'm fat" types. If that's the attitude, then lose weight. I love myself, the person and I and how I look. I loved it before I met my dominant and honestly, the attitude I have about my size, my looks and my life are what attracted him to me in the first place. I'm confident and it shows in the way I carry myself and in the way I speak about myself. I'm in the process of losing 10% of my body weight but not because of the way it will make me look (it won't change my looks that much), but because of the way it will make me feel physically.

To answer your question, though. Of course size matters. Of course it does. Anyone who says it doesn't is dillusional. As much as people would love to think that everyone's capable of transcending past the physical body, it just doesn't happen as often as we'd like to believe. Fat girls aren't attractive to some men and some men don't find skinny girls attractive either. But I can tell you this. Almost NO ONE finds insecure women attractive. You need to strengthen yourself, find peace with your size or change to a size you can find peace with. Even though you say something like, "HEY.. if you don't like that I'm fat it's YOUR problem" you don't really back it up with how you feel about yourself. The fact that you posted this question proves that the attitude on your profile is just your wounded feelings talking. You don't really feel that way. It's a reaction. I would suggest that you work on your self esteem and learn to love yourself. When you feel good about who you are, it's very hard for anyone to make you feel otherwise.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 24

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 9:20:09 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

I look at it this way...... no matter your size, if you are truly happy with how you look, then project that image to others with your attitude and personality...... and in the way you present yourself physically (clothing, hair, etc...). That positive outlook will make people notice you in a good way, and likely want to get to know you better as a person.

If deep down inside you wish you could make some changes for the better, then do it. Start with the ones that are easy to fix and work from there. One step at a time. But always do it for yourself, not others.

That's what I did, and what I continue to do.

Best of luck to you......

(in reply to miali)

Post #: 25

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:23:25 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I don't know why you even listened to the loser. You should not let the bitterness of one person bring you down, you know what you have to offer and what you are capable of. Confidence is very attractive. I am a little overweight, but i know i am still sexy and carry myself that way so others see it too. Master loves me just the way i am. If I want to lose weight for ME then he will support me. If you want to lose weight ways to do it, if you are happy the way you are what is the problem? Don't let someone make you think less of yourself.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 26

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:30:02 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

Wow that guy is a fucktard! Beauty comes from the inside not the outside. If you are beautiful on the inside you will find someone who loves you. Tell this guy to fuck off, what an asshole

him.

_____________________________

Princess Andie

"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 27

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:32:13 AM

atursvcMaam

Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you.....

, if you are happy the way you are what is the problem? Don't let someone make you think less of yourself.

Matt's littleone

i was told that could make one goe blind.....Seriously, this is a great answer. you are who you are, and while you might find those who can not appreciate that, here will always be those who can.

_____________________________

live hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse when you die.
Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 28

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:44:33 AM

willingfem

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/27/2008
Status: offline

My dear snugglepet, you don't get it. He doesn't have any problem whatsoever with your size. He is using it as a vehicle to humiliate you because as I suspect your "relationship" is far from over. He wants to break you emotionally and crush whatever resistance you can have so he can have renewed control. Remember, HE called you. OR, he may have gotten so mad that you didn't run to his feet begging him to take you back that he couldn't stand not getting back at you for being cool.
In any case, a lousy man. This isn't about your size, but about his regaining control. Pathetic. Keep away.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 29

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:47:08 AM

Drummerpunk7

Posts: 46
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet

Recently, a Dom that i had been working with decided that he did not want me, and this is fine it is his choice. After a period of time of not contacting him as per his request, he contacted me and upon beginning a discussion began to belittle and berate me. Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. That i am too ugly for even a mother to love, that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.
So is it true, that i am a charity case, because i am a bigger girl? Is it true that no one could love me? Is real love even truly possible?
So truly then, does size really matter?

Every woman I've been with has been "bigger". Not by alot, but definitely not thin girls. Thin girls are plenty attractive, and so are bigger girls. I simply call em as I see em, and have no set guielines for what is attractive.

Don't let one asshole get you down, there are plenty other assholes who would treat you better.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 30

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 10:51:18 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: snugglepet
Telling me that i should be honoured that he was charitable enough to even talk to a fat ass like myself. <snip> that i lost the only good thing i could have ever received and that no one could ever like/love me ever, that i should just give up and die.

You should remind him that he also honored you with the freedom to find someone who truly appreciated you for who you were and not becasue you had a bit of a self image issue he could exploit. People like that need to find smeone they can convince needs them, becasue you really dont.
Remind him you had a life before him, and you will have a life after him. He no more began your life than he can end it.
AND most importantly, if you have the snark in you, remind him if you were so horrific that maybe sparing him your company might be very charitable, since you would HATE for him to have to deal with someone as hirrid as yourself, after all.
Then, kick him to the curb, block all access he has to you and find someone who wants you for you and get the best revenge ever. Enjoy life to the fullest. There is ntohing worse for a guy like your former Dom than to know what he released is happy.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 31

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 11:17:42 AM

subdevra

Posts: 37
Joined: 3/28/2008
Status: offline

size only matters if it matters to you and how badly you want someone to whom size does matter.

i could stand to lose quite a few pounds yet when i first met the one that later became my Master, among the first words out of his mouth were "you're beautiful don't lose any weight"

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 32

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 12:52:31 PM

Poetryinpain

Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline

There are people to whom size matters, and there are people to whom education level matters, and there are people to whom income matters, and there are people to whom limb count matters. And there are people to whom none of the above matters - they are looking for a particular personality or way of thinking about things.

It's a big world, even within the BDSM sub-set. And in that big world, there are plenty of Doms who'd be happy to have a sub or slave with - um - what do you have to offer? That might be a better thing to have in your profile, rather than a "move along if you don't want a big girl."

pip, anybody want a cuddlesome sub?

_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to subdevra)

Post #: 33

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 1:23:13 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

Snuggle,

A jackass like that wasn't picking on you because of your weight or your looks. He was picking on you because he was a jackass. Men like that will find any excuse to make someone else feel bad about themselves. If you looked like a movie star, he'd probably be saying the same things if he thought they'd hurt you.

Don't take what he said to heart. I've heard pretty much identical words from men I rejected and they DIDN"T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LOOKED LIKE. Women are frequently sensitive about their weight, and men know it, and can use it to hurt the vulnurable.

He was a bully. You are only a charity case if you think you are. I suggest that you do something for yourself to make you feel better about your looks. If you're 300 lbs and happy with how you look, I say you're more attractive than a supermodel who doesn't eat because she's too fat. Confidence is what makes women sexy (well, that and boobs...). Don't let some douchebag take yours away. You're worth more than that.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 34

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 1:46:29 PM

spatejak

Posts: 53
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that I like a sub with some extra padding. It's easier to find the sweet spot

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 35

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 3:22:42 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

Get used to the fact that people are just shallow

<Waves to Leatherist>
I just think people know what they want. If he doesnt like fat girls, then he shouldn't have led her to believe he did. He built her up just to watch her fall.
OP, there is no reason you need to get validation from any of us. You know your attributes more than any one else. Have confidence in what you have to offer and move on. I wish you luck.

MoGa

Exactly, thanks for saaying that, MoGa!

OP, even if you weren't a big girl, he would have found some other way to belittle you. He would have berated you for being too skinny... or called you stupid... or heck, anything that he could think of that would have worn away at your self esteem. He's a dickhead and needs to be ignored. Don't let him get to you. There are good men around - just like there are jerks. You found an ass. Most of us have at one point or another, on both sides of the slash. Chalk it up to experience and move on. Be more guarded perhaps with your heart in the future. But whatever you do, don't let it get to you!

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 36

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 3:32:33 PM

Phin

Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline

you have gotten some really good advice here, please take it to heart.

Just so you know, my first "playboy" was the lingerie section in the Layne Bryant catalog

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to Bound2One)

Post #: 37

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:04:21 PM

snugglepet

Posts: 21
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

wow thank you, there are some very good ideas and some different perspectives. Things i had never considered before. It is all very much appreciated and i look forward to the future.
thank you all

(in reply to Phin)

Post #: 38

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:13:58 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

First this guy rejects you, and then calls you up to insult you. Slam down the phone in his ear and never, ever speak to him again.

He sounds totally pathetic and a pr*ck to boot.

Give yourself a break. Enjoy life. Enjoy yourself. Be healthy. Eliminate toxic foods, air, and people from your life. Try walking. A bit of exercise will make you feel better about yourself.

None of us are going to look like Nicole Kidman or Brad Pitt. Accept it and make the best you can of your life. Love yourself and love others.

Just avoid poisonous people like the plague that they are.

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 39

RE: Does size matter? - 4/8/2008 4:29:18 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

You know, inside, that he's full of it. You do not have to endure such treatment "just because" you're in the lifestyle. Delete, block, ignore.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to snugglepet)

Post #: 40

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