RE: Release (Full Version)

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DisenchantedLife -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 6:49:28 AM)

It means that everything that meant anything, meant nothing? 

I don't think you've actually explained what you found.  I certiantly feel like there is more to the story. 

Look what it seems to me is you found more than just a profile?  Maybe some posts that slammed the guilty tag down on her head?  That showed you all that was supposed to mean something, meant zero.  She was going behind your back?  Which as you stated wouldnt of mattered if she was dating others, if she had just told you.  So its not what she was doing, but how she was doing it. 

I have learned that if they don't get it, they will never get it.  If they need to learn basic concepts they'll never learn the basic concepts.  Really its just bad news all around.  IMO you need some one that knows "all" of the basic concepts.  Cos if they dont' tknow this late in the game, they never will.   




Prinsexx -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 6:50:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickednU
We're talking most of my adult life if you want "long enough" in terms of years.

Then why are you asking here on CM how to be a master?

Somewhere along that road where I lost interest in the players, AFF people dropped to a caste lower than swamp water.
What goes around comes around. You are expressing an arrogance beyond belief.


I know what I want.
Yes but you obviously don't give a damn about her, or anyone else it appears.

A submissive wandering around work with marks on her from her Dom and so sore between her legs that she cringes when she pees is a good thing in my book. It is a good reminder.
A good reminder of what? And you are PROUD of leaving her to wander around?



So I will release her. Maybe that makes me cold because the feelings are growing.
Yes it is and that is all it is. You are heartless by your own admission.

The question I have then is simple and applies to both sides of this conversation. As a submissive, how much do you want to know when release comes?
As soon as possible from a d type such as you.







sabirah -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 6:53:38 AM)

The fact that you stalk her, searching out her past, and search her out online to find out if she is doing anything wrong is a sign of insecurity. perhaps that was your way to self -sabotoge the relationship. You wanted to find some dirt on her and if you look long enough or hard enough, it can be found. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickednU


but I will say that once you start looking, msn's live search of cached pages can reveal a lot, and in this case did. That's how I knew the blank profile was hers, because, well it wasn't always. It took all of about 10 minutes to work it out. The question isn't whether or not to tell her why, but how much to explain when the basis of what you've spent six months trying to teach her, and showing her is something of a broken foundation.




domahpet -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:01:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sabirah

The fact that you stalk her, searching out her past, and search her out online to find out if she is doing anything wrong is a sign of insecurity. perhaps that was your way to self -sabotoge the relationship. You wanted to find some dirt on her and if you look long enough or hard enough, it can be found. 



this SOOO bears repeating.




BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:05:03 AM)

Well I'm confused.  You joined Collarme today, just so you could post this? 

You've already tried her and found her guilty, so anything anyone offers up here is pointless. [sm=noway.gif]




angelikaJ -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:06:10 AM)

Obviously, trust has been breached...she may have done nothing to "legitimately" warrant it but the bottom line is that you do not trust her.

Domino and lanie made some very good points.

The best possible outcome is that you will each learn something valuable.






Prinsexx -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:08:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

You joined Collarme today, just so you could post this? 



Yes it seems he did and that's after a lifetime in the life style.
Maybe he found out that she was not only a member of that dreadful AFF, which is beneath him, but he also found out she is a member of collarme?






Prinsexx -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:11:20 AM)

Wait! I have the perfect solution!
Drop her a lne on AFF! You must be a member yourself to have stalked her there.
Yes: just casually drop her a mail there. Then you won't even have to do it face to face.





Dnomyar -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:11:28 AM)

[sm=flamewar.gif]




parttimehotty -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:12:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WickednU

Telling her why isn't the point. That I will do. The first conclusion wasn't exactly negative, but I will say that once you start looking, msn's live search of cached pages can reveal a lot, and in this case did. That's how I knew the blank profile was hers, because, well it wasn't always. It took all of about 10 minutes to work it out. The question isn't whether or not to tell her why, but how much to explain when the basis of what you've spent six months trying to teach her, and showing her is something of a broken foundation. I can and will listen to the reasons why, but what I won't do is pick it apart by what 10 minutes of looking showed me. If there's one thing worse than catching someone, it's working them through the process. The whole prospect is distatesful. Granted, things may have changed since the original posting. Who knows when the silence is there to begin with? And how much of yourself are you going to keep investing when the silence continues? It has nothing to do with back-handed passive-agression lanie. It has to do with the fact that when I sit down and talk to her about it, and tell her why, I'm not going to go through what it really means when I can see what it really meant. If that makes sense. Shrug.


Huh? Man, just tell her and be done w/it....

Next thread!!




Maya2001 -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:16:42 AM)

I am with SimplyMichael....


plus did you negotiate that she could not a member of AFF and explain your reasons why  when you first became involved with her????....if not ...do you expect her to be a mind reader and know that you would not approve????...you said she had a lot of contacts maybe one invited her there......or joined out of curiousity and was on last just to check out an email she recieved ... does she not deserve the right to learn on her own that AFF may be a waste of time .....just like your did???  So you are allowed to make mistakes ...but she is not .... it seems your releasing her may actually be a reward instead






Madame4a -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:20:21 AM)

FR

Not much of this makes sense -- like why you bothered to snoop, why AFF is so threatening to you ... and what you hope to gain from posting here?

Only one thing is very clear to me, she's likely better off without you.  Release her and get it over with.




xxblushesxx -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:20:46 AM)

I'm pretty sure that part of the reason you do not want to go into detail with your explanation is that it will be embarassing for you to tell her what you did. I would perceive it as weak and insecure, especially coming from someone who is supposed to provide me with guidance.




Justme696 -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:22:12 AM)

At OP

it is good you don't take it the easy way and ask for help. I would tell her your opinion and then wait if she ask for more background information. IF she does ask for more, tell her. IF not let it be.
Btw...did she tell  you why she has the profile? PErhaps i didn't read the posts well, but I couldn't find the answer.




Luciferica -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 7:45:46 AM)

Umm, dude..WTF. First off, she's a married lady with a life and mind of her own, as it stands, your her part time dish anyway. If you don't treat her like an adult then how can you expect her to act like an adult. It reminds me of my ex boyfriend:

I got a call at 10:00PM from a male friend, he wanted to tell me to change my passwords because his wife was on the phone with my boyfriend, who had just told her to check her husband's E-mail because he had checked mine and found an E-mail he didn't like about my male friend and I meeting for lunch. He assumed, wrongly that we were screwing around, we weren't, our luncheon was VERY public, we ate at the cracker barrel and I went home, I hadn't had time to talk to my boyfriend about the luncheon, he had been at work all day, or so I thought.The wife knew about the lunch and was like OOKKKAAYY to my boyfriend. I called him, royaly pissed he had no right to check my E-mail, had he asked I would have opened it for him and explained everything right there and then, but he assumed, lied and hacked my E-mail. To top it off he had the balls to call me the 'backstabbling whore' ...

So, if you did something similar to her, then yes, let her go, so she can run..






giveeverything -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 8:29:28 AM)

My answer is taking a cue from the online subbie guy who's mistresses all "disappeared" mysteriously:

OP... don't even bother talking to her... instead... how about faking your own death. 






twistedtight1 -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 8:29:50 AM)

yes would love to know what AFF means?? help...or should i say duh???




CalifChick -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 8:32:48 AM)

AFF = Adult Friend Finder.  Has a reputation of being a place for swingers and peeps cheating on their spouses.

Cali




sirsholly -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 8:33:56 AM)

Adult Friend Finder




KatyLied -> RE: Release (4/8/2008 8:37:49 AM)

Did you have a rule she couldn't AFF (whatever the heck that site is)?  If not then I don't understand why you are upset over it.  She may be on that site for reasons other than looking for a hookup.  Especially if her profile is blank.




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