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When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:29:16 PM   
lexi24


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline 		I have been with my Master for almost 2 years now and i love him very much.  So here is the problem, due to my Masters business being broken into almost a year and a half ago he has been sleeping at his business to secure it. Now for over a year i have been listening to him tell me that he is going to set up security so he can sleep at home with me again and has yet to do it. I do occasionally sleep with him at the business but for the most part i sleep alone at home due to the animals. Due to us sleeping in different places we do not play anymore. I have told him i am sick and tired of this and nothing seems to be changing. Have i waited to long for things to change? Would any of you put up with this for as long as i have? Any oppinions are wanted and welcomed. Thank you in advance 
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:31:55 PM   
YoungWolf


Posts: 18
Joined: 3/25/2008
Status: offline 		Is there money problems? security is not that cheap today no matter how you look at it. Things may be being held up. Me personaly should hold on alittle while longer. He is Your Master after all.  Thats just my oppinion.

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:37:07 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		When you love someone it is hard to draw a line in the sand and say "Thus far and no farther." But if you feel the time has come to say something to him, why not say much of what you just posted here? Let him know you miss his presence at night, that you miss the play, that you miss HIM. Perhaps you two can brainstorm together to find a compromise.

I'm not going to make a judgement call about whether it's been "long enough." That's entirely your call. But you seem to be at a point where you need to start communicating big-time. I wish you a happy result.

pip, with apologies to Jesus for quoting him out of context


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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:39:42 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		sounds like... because you are here its enough for you... are you just looking for some validation?

Me, it would be WAY enough for me after a few months.. particularly because you said that you don't play because of it...

If it were me, I would have found other ways to play and/or sleep together ... there's a lot more beyond a bedroom at night, but perhaps that's just me... this is not about security by the way.. you know that right?

this long means he doesn't want to be there.. or he would be

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 4/8/2008 12:40:27 PM >

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:39:43 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I'm sorry but there is something else going on. Lost passion or something. He could get stronger locks, an alarm system and an attack dog for less than a security guard. So why hasnt he?

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:47:19 PM   
lexi24


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungWolf

Is there money problems? security is not that cheap today no matter how you look at it. Things may be being held up.



Money is not an issue and he has all the time in the world seeing as i watch the business durring the day to allow time the time to fix this problem.

(in reply to YoungWolf)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:47:20 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		Security from whom,damm a lock on the door should be enough unless hes hiding from his wife with a gun..

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:55:50 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Sounds like he doesn't want to share a bed with you.

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 12:59:31 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Lexi, wake up and smell the coffee.
 
Actions speak louder than words. He has been emotionally out of this relationship, for over a year now.
If I were you, I'd cut my losses and move on.
 
Don't wait. Do it now. Life is too short. You cannot be your authentic self, with this fellow.
 
My thoughts are with you, I have SOOO been there, and done that. That's why I'm telling you to get out NOW. Don't waste any more of your precious time waiting for him to get a clue. You deserve so much better!
 
 

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 1:07:51 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm going to disagree with many who posted before me on this one.

It sounds like he feels violated.  His business, something that may have been dear to him was broken into and he's reacting to that violation.  Not unlike a person who's been physically violated.  I wouldn't say things are fine and keep on going the way you have been.  He may need help to get over this, whether it's support from you or through professional services.

I liken a long term M/s relationship to a marriage and in wedding vows one pledges to stick with the other through trying times.  I don't think that it's the time to move on, I do think it's time to talk to him about your feelings and how unhappy the arrangement has made you.  I even think that it's time to suggest that as a partnership you look for ways to move beyond the crime that was committed and take back your lives.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 1:10:48 PM   
katie978


Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		   I'm a bit confused as to the housing situation...You were with him for less than 6 months before he started sleeping at the shop. Could it be that he moved in with you after you had only been dating a short while, and he feels uncomfortable staying with you? Or you moved in with him and now he doesn't appear to want to live with you, but doesn't want to tell you flat out?

Either way, it seems clear that something aside from security is keeping him at the shop. If he's not coming clean about what it is that's bothering him, nor making any move to change things, I'd say it's time for you to leave. A few months of a great relationship, and then a year and a half of one with no play or snuggling? I'd say it was time for you to leave a year ago.

< Message edited by katie978 -- 4/8/2008 1:13:27 PM >

(in reply to lexi24)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 1:19:58 PM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		I know what OmegaG means about feeling violated... we've had a car broken into and one stolen (yes I think we need to move), and Alpha can't even go to sleep without checking on the cars... I think he'd ponder sleeping in his favorite if the idea came into his head! but he's gone to lengths to add security to them, which involved a lot of money but for peace of mind it's worth it.

One thing we've done in our apartment is get random automated light switches so if we're not home at night they'll turn on and off the make it seem like we're at home.. could he do that in his store office or something? I'd say a year is too long to not change the situation, if he is truly interested in living with you.
-C

< Message edited by abcbsex -- 4/8/2008 1:20:16 PM >

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 4:24:49 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think YOU should set up a security camera at his business and see what he's really doing there night after night.

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 4:42:26 PM   
sabirah


Posts: 97
Status: offline 		greetings lexi24,

To me these issues that are happening  I feel can change, and is no reason to give up just yet. ( if you believe him to be a good Master ) Maybe you could spend more nights at the office, depending on what type of animals, can they tag along ?  sounds like you might need to find some play time at the office too, since you run the shop during the day and he seems to be there all night. perhaps,compromise and more communication is needed. 

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sincerely,
sabirah

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It is a sound the girl will never forget.





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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 4:47:39 PM   
lubegirl


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Sometimes when a slave loves a MASTER she must willing to accept whatever HE decides..even if you do not like it.
Your loyalty and submission will shine and he will love you more and do whatever it is necessary to comfort you as you go through unbearable times.
Hang in there with a good attitude and happy heart,
Lubegirl

(in reply to windchymes)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 4:57:07 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lubegirl

Sometimes when a slave loves a MASTER she must willing to accept whatever HE decides..even if you do not like it.
Your loyalty and submission will shine and he will love you more and do whatever it is necessary to comfort you as you go through unbearable times.
Hang in there with a good attitude and happy heart,
Lubegirl


The above may hold true in a relationship in which both parties are being honest and loving and acting with the care of their partner utmost in their minds.  BUT this is certainly not true in any given situation.  Being a submissive doesn't mean you should leave your better sense and needs and intelligence behind if you feel you are not being cared for and the relationship has deteriorated.  I don't even think being a slave entitles the Master to damage the relationship with his actions and behavior, though I'm sure that's not everyone's opinion.  And being a Master certainly doesn't mean that he is omnipotent - he's human and makes mistakes. 

OP, something is going on here.  I don't know the situation well enough to guess at what's going on his head, but there is great emotional distance between the two of you and it is harming you, as evidenced by your concern in your post. 

My only suggestion would be to talk, and you may have to draw that line in the sand to get him to budge.  I am thinking about a situation in my personal life where the man was going through *something* for a few years, and I accepted it, made excuses, talked until I was blue in the face, but never drew that line.  And I should have.

I wish you well.


(in reply to lubegirl)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 5:06:16 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Would any of you put up with this for as long as i have?


No.  Whatever is going on with him, it's not good.

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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 5:07:20 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Sometimes when a slave loves a MASTER she must willing to accept whatever HE decides..even if you do not like it.
Your loyalty and submission will shine and he will love you more and do whatever it is necessary to comfort you as you go through unbearable times.


I'll go back to:  He orders you to hold down two jobs so that he can hire a professional submissive to satisfy him.  Are you going to smile and shine?  Hopefully not.

(in reply to lubegirl)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 5:36:25 PM   
darkesttdesire


Posts: 25
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline 		let us know if your still there 18 yrs from now..... ffs theres security services which will run checks on bussinesses and costs are affortable, probably is one running in the area and one more port of call isnt a big deal to them..... smell the coffee???? I'd be more inclined to smell the rat..... oh but you could say he was protecting  HIS PROPERTY,  i wonder what would happen if you sleeping there at home alone got broken into. would be interesting

(in reply to TracyTaken)
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RE: When is enough enough? - 4/8/2008 6:07:43 PM   
lanie38


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline 		So he's sleeping there at night, and I'll assume he's also there working during the day....sooooo when do the two of you actually spend any time together?

My impression is he's avoiding somebody, something, life...who knows? But this definately has nothing to do with keeping his business safe...not a year and a half later...come on??!!

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