Lessons from the Absurd

Lessons from the Absurd (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

catize -> Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 6:11:00 PM)
The ‘worst experience’ thread made me think about how some lessons are learned the hard way. But I also have been taught valuable insights from scenes that went wrong in a less horrifying manner. The one that made the biggest impression on me was supposed to be an S&M play session with a man who said he was a sadist. (Oh, goodie! said the masochist) We met in a motel, had a bit of improv role play and then the real fun began. I found myself bent over a piece of furniture and he started to spank my ass. I enjoyed every swat and was thinking this was a great warm-up and was so ready for more! Suddenly he stopped and I heard “Oh my god!” I turned my head to look at him and he was pale and shaking. I asked ‘what’s wrong?’ and thought he was ill or something. He started stammering out an apology for hitting me so hard! Turned out he had never hit anyone that hard before. He had expected me to cry or beg him to stop and was appalled that my skin was bright red with a few small bruises. It ended up with me reassuring him over and over that I was fine and was having a great time. I had to provide him with after-care he was so distraught. What I learned from that was to get very specific definitions from prospective play partners. It had never occurred to me before that a bottom was capable of traumatizing the top! Anyone care to share a scene that ranged from the disappointing to simply ridiculous? In retrospect, what was the lesson you learned?

DesFIP -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 7:39:01 PM)
We were driving around and I was in a skirt. He told me to take off my panties and I thought I would embarrass him by hanging them on the rear view mirror. He wasn't and wouldn't let me take them off till we got back. I was bright red the whole drive back. I have learned never to try to one up him, I can't win.

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 8:13:18 PM)
Funny! Reminds me of a friend who took off her panties in the restroom and dropped them in her dominant’s lap when she sat back down at the table. He waved them at the waiter! One up-man (or woman)-ship is a dominant’s forte!

Aileen1968 -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 8:15:57 PM)
Catize...I cant read your font at all. It just hurts my eyes.

Drummerpunk7 -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 9:06:00 PM)
my eyes are bleeding...

FangsNfeet -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 9:19:16 PM)
A ancient chinese proverb speaks of the fool, the smart guy, and the wise man. A fool never learns. He keeps on going though life repeating mistakes time and time again. A smart man will learn from his mistakes and continues to do things better when the next time comes around. A wise man never makes mistakes. Instead, he watches and learns from the mistakes that others make.

madshysoul -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:01:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet A wise man never makes mistakes. Instead, he watches and learns from the mistakes that others make. Which reminds me of a favorite saying of mine, that "Sometimes your only purpose in life is to be someone else's bad example."

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:05:54 PM)
quote: A wise man never makes mistakes. Instead, he watches and learns from the mistakes that others make. Well there goes all hope that I will ever be wise.

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: madshysoul quote: ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet A wise man never makes mistakes. Instead, he watches and learns from the mistakes that others make. Which reminds me of a favorite saying of mine, that "Sometimes your only purpose in life is to be someone else's bad example." [sm=mrpuffy.gif]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:13:26 PM)
-=A story I heard=- It was a first date at some BDSM event/social affair. At the breakfast table the next morning, among others, the top was talking to the bottom about the GREAT humiliation session the night before. The bottom said said "What humiliation?"... apparnetly being dragged around by a leash on all fours made her feel loved, owned and secure, not humiliated. Maybe not a truly traumatic situation but certainly an example in line with the OP of how two people can go to the same place from different perspectives.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:28:34 PM)
Your quote actually made me laugh out loud. Fantastic! I've always thought the hubris involved in declaring yourself all someone needs is astounding. I may like you, but I still need to eat and sleep. grin (Off-topic. Sorry.)

SailingBum -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/8/2008 10:41:33 PM)
Work on your color sheesh BadOne

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 1:51:22 PM)
What are you talking about?

ResidentSadist -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 2:20:33 PM)
Re: ^ I think he is talking about the Ariel Black font and bright blue color of the OP. It is pretty rough to try and read.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 3:11:46 PM)
Oh talk about bad experiances and even worst first dates. First mistake was going out on the date in the first place after the guy had stood me up three times. Second mistake letting the man order for me, he ordered me chicken fingers from the childrens menu, at that point I was vegan (I ate no meat at all and hadnt for about three years) and he knew that I was a vegan we had talked about it many times. I was almost sick when the waiter brought the fried bits of chicken out to me. Third mistake, getting into the car with him again after he told me I had been "Such a naughty girl for not eating my dinner." Fourth mistake was not pulling my cell phone out of my purse and calling my older brother who lived only a few blocks from where we were, when he pulled into a nearly empty parking lot and parked getting into the back seat and beconing me to fallow. Fifth mistake was letting him think I was joking around, playing hard to get or as he said "being a nuaghty brat who needed a spanking" When I said that no I was not getting into the back seat with him. That night I was literaly saved by the bell when his phone rang and he needed to go home, he took me back home then. I take full responsability for what happened the man really was totaly clueless and brainless and I should have had enough common sence to stop it after any of those mistakes, I think I was just lucky the guy turned out to just be stupid not dangerous or things could have gotten really bad! MS

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 3:23:09 PM)
Ladies and gentlemen, if you choose to use music during a scene, I cannot stress to you enough to check your playlist beforehand. Many, many moons ago I was in the middle of a particularly hot and intense scene. I'm the kind of girl who likes to fuck to metal -- the harder, the better -- so I had an awesome playlist set up to really get me pumped and in the mood. Except apparently I somehow managed to add the entire Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. So we're in the midst of things when all of a sudden we go from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHWicNDkbpw to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SVK0NwEDck As you can imagine, moment successfully ruined. No matter how hard we tried we could not get that "lovin' feeling" back for the rest of the evening. We did get to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas in our skivvies though, that was pretty cool. [:D]

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 4:07:39 PM)
^^^^ Okay! Okay!

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 4:10:17 PM)
quote: Maybe not a truly traumatic situation but certainly an example in line with the OP of how two people can go to the same place from different perspectives. It may not be possible to find universal definitions in what we do, but it is helpful to make sure your partner is using the same dictionary.

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 4:11:34 PM)
“No” is such a little word, why are we afraid to use it sometimes?

catize -> RE: Lessons from the Absurd (4/9/2008 4:12:40 PM)
Ha, thanks for sharing!

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125