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RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/22/2005 5:18:32 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

That is why I cropped and lightened it for him...then posted it back here again.

Sometimes we all need a little help now and then.

Or perhaps he preferred a picture that obscured his features while still showing that physically he doesn't weigh 400 lbs? <shrug> Looks like he deleted his profile for whatever reason.

f

*Edited for typo

< Message edited by stormsfate -- 10/22/2005 5:19:33 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/22/2005 7:12:59 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Looks like he deleted his profile for whatever reason.

Read up in thread FOR ONCE advice for improvement was taken (Bonus points).

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Post #: 22

RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/22/2005 7:37:35 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for pointing that out, theRose4U. Here I was thinking that some poor guy may have had an intentionally obscure picture corrected for him....lol.

f

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Post #: 23

RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/22/2005 9:15:28 PM

pandoravampire

Posts: 374
Joined: 12/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZandD

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

I'm sure you will have more offers than you can handle from doms who can't wait to get into your pant....I mean help you gain your footing.

My advice to all novices is to NOT get into a committed relationship for at least 6 months.

No one ever listens to that, but I think it's good advice.

NJ has a tepid scene, a few munches and a few parties, but NYC has great stuff for ya.

I agree with Emerald Slave and she gives really sound advice. It takes a long time on both ends of the spectrum to not only find but ultimately trust a person in this realm. Love at first sight (or message) is a fun dream to indulge in but in reality it can be frought with disaster.

My advice to you is: Don't settle for meeting your immediate needs. Consider your longterm needs and goals and don't settle for less. It's difficult to wait, but holding out for "The Right One" versus "The Right Now One" can save on emotional turmoil and can help ensure your physical and mental safety.

These are all simply suggestions. In any case, it is always a good idea to err on the side of caution.

Good fortune to you!

Z

I couldnt disagree less here.
Your right, she shouldnt settle for less, but she can experience less to 'top her up' from time to time. A play partner sounds like a excellent toe dip to me.
Go with emerald slaves advice to 'not get into a relationship for 6 months, sorry ES, i didnt take it either. Then any encounters you have are a playground bonus.

You will be inundated with Dom's you want your body. No ties, but they may be honest and call it a play session/training session. And you will learn from these encounters. Whilst being a little (and it is a little, against the charms of some very charismatic people. You will feel alive, like the falling in love feeling. If your hanging with the same person, its easy to transfer your euphoria into love for your Dom/me. Its natural progression.)
But a little protection is gained by commiting to a personal agreement, to not get into a relationship for 6 months. Depends wether your the cautious type. I dont think so.

I dont swallow you distancing yourself from experiencing this journey. You state that its almost a necessary experiment, 'to see once and for all'. How very proper. And sanitised.
You will not be able to play and be distant. You will be swept along. Wether you want to or not. Why else would you bother? Being open and honest to a Dom, so that they may take over control, you must pass it over. That, "ill sit off stage and watch it all very closely", disassociating yourself from the 'now' of some intense moments, seems to me like holding back.
I can bet, that once youve 'experienced it for yourself', you cant then decide. It is decided allready, its just that's the moment your gonna accept it. If it is you, then you'll have no choice but be drawn to this milarky. If its not you, then you'll not be returning again, so sorted!

Listen to the wise words of wisdom (<oh the irony!) from the cautious, or just plain common sense submissive.
Im a reckless person, i like to dive into stuff head first. Its my black flume theory in evidence. If i go to a water world park and there are 3 water flume rides, yellow, blue, and the finale, the black flume. If im only doing it once, then i go for the black flume and the ride of a lifetime. This sort of crap philosophy has gotten me into all sorts of scrapes. I learn, pick myself up, dust off, and dive right back in.

My maturity and life experience protected me from much of the bullshit. Vanilla skills empowered me within bdsm. A good judge of character. Good assessment skills. Assertive, good self esteem. So i had a little extra protection than some i guess. But i tried to enter by being reserved, and it got me jack shit. Once i opened up, then i gained the most.

I wish you well freshmeat666 (though i have to say, that's one of those names that make me squirm just reading it, its so IN YA FACE! so loud? Then there's the 666 stuff. In my naivite, i imagine devil worship and all sorts. Funny how a nic conjours images. Strong reaction to the image of that name. But thats me)

be well
pandoravampire

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Post #: 24

RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/23/2005 8:02:20 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

These were my 1st steps,when i 1st stumbled on this lifestyle, i read, read, read, asked questions, asked more, read more, thought upa list of questions and wanted opnions from others. if i wasnt sure of a word or toy or anything else i had seen typed about i looked it up. no matter how much i thought i wanted some thing had to have it,i never ever rushed it. for me taking my time worked great, i knew myself better than i ever had by that time. it was hard, very hard some times not to just go for it, but in the long run i am most happy with the last 9 years.

My only advice, be careful, use common sense and don't ingore those gut feelings.
good luck

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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Post #: 25

RE: How do i find a Dom? - 10/23/2005 9:03:04 PM

ginawithaB

Posts: 141
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

>>>>>Hi my name is DOM Alexander and I would like you to start corresponding with me on a daily basis and I will be more than willing to introduce you to the lifestyle, BUT, the first thing is we will have to get to know each other as individuals for starters. So do you mind telling me more about yourself

Alex<<<<<

Just an aside: Wow Alex, you just pop up everywhere, don't you? Even on open boards where everyone can plainly see your insincerity...

Back on topic...NorthrnNJSUb (not sure i got it quite right) formerly known as freshmeat666...You're a very bright young man for taking the advice given you re: changing screenname and updating your profile. I have no doubt the right Domme for you will come along...but i also agree with the one who warned against settling for less than your needs require (not her exact words)...Do not settle, never settle, even if it takes a lifetime to find Her...You will be a better person for taking your time, waiting and watching closely. She will come, don't worry. And listen closely to the one who advised not to get involved in anything serious for at least 6 months...I'm a newbie too and boy do i know you gotta give yourself time...Try to meet as many helpful people in the community as you can. Join groups, read articles, go to munches, read books, and look up MAsT (Masters And slaves Together - a great group) in your area. NJ has a really good chapter, keep on asking for advice and help...You will see...life has many, many wonderful things to offer. Take your time and take care of you. Some "doms" will try to tell you that you and your needs are not important. Not so. A truly, good dom/me wants your needs to be met...how else can they expect you to be happy?...and a happy sub/slave is what they want...the good ones, that is.

Peace,

gw/aB