|
Wickad -> RE: Why nem Suck at Sex (4/12/2008 12:34:08 AM)
|
(fast reply)
Greetings,
I think some men suck at sex and I think some women do as well. There are also some amazing lover's of both sexes.
I'd like to first point out that my mother gave me a book about sex and then refused to answer any of my questions - lol. I was very concerned about the thing referred to as 'my period'. It seemed, from the way the book portrayed it, at least, that your period lasted a number of days (though it never did say how many) and you should start taking 'the pill' 5 days into IT. I was very shocked ... how could anyone bleed for 5 days and still be alive? LMAO!! True story ... I really was sheltered as a child.
On to "Why Men Suck at Sex?" .....
I think this is a rather complicated issue. Many have brought up the idea of communication and that men don't ask questions and women don't tell them anything. I think this is true. However, it is very hard to tell a guy what he is doing wrong when 1) the woman may be just as uneducated as the man on this issue, and 2) trying to give helpful criticism to a man with a fragile ego ... well, it's not a lot of fun and often degrades into nasty name calling.
The second reason is that our society revolves around male entitlement. Most men believe they are entitled to their pleasure and it doesn't really matter what the woman is doing. A lot of women also hold to this belief (ie: faking it) and thus prop up and perpetuate the idea that it's the man's pleasure that is of tantamount importance. It is a strong (and strange) woman who demands that her needs be met and that her needs are just as important, if not more important, than the needs of her male partner.
Thirdly, ... men (mostly men but some women) need to realize that a vagina is not an inside-out penis. A woman's physical anatomy is very different than a man's. A woman's arousal cycle is also different than a man's. Women tend to start becoming aroused long before the cloths come off. It behooves men to stimulate a woman's mind and imagination hours before they hope to have sex if they are seeking to be considered an amazing lover. Basically, men and women are very different when it comes to what feels good and what turns them on. Women know that men are visual and thus dress and adorn themselves to entice ... maybe it's time men started thinking more about a woman's arousal and 'dressing to titillate her mind'.
Finally, there is something to be learned from the bad, chauvinist joke of ... "How does a man know a woman has reached orgasm?" .... "Who cares!" Throughout most men's sexual lives they tend to objectify women and thus 'don't care' what she is doing as long as they get off. As time goes by, and with societal pressure, this tends to evolve into believing that if they are concerned about their partner's sexual satisfaction then some how they are 'whipped' and are less manly. This way of thinking does tend to be fading (thank goodness) but it is being replaced by a new standard by which men will measure themselves against each other - can you satisfy 'your' woman? If you can, you are seen as manly and if you don't ... then you are less. In any case, these attitudes treat women's bodies, and their sexuality as objects by which to measure themselves against each other rather than simply being a way to share pleasure with your partner.
As I had stated earlier, I'm sure their are some crappy women lover's as well, but .... this thread was looking at why men suck at sex - lol. Maybe someone should start one on why women suck at sex. And ... have you ever wondered why that thread hasn't been started?
Wickad
|
|
|
|
