Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Advice Given to a Lonely Friend


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Advice Given to a Lonely Friend Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 1:48:40 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		 



“It’ll happen for me eventually, Kranwest.  Maybe it won’t happen right now, but it WILL OCCUR -- just whenever the time is right.  It has to happen someday, you know?” 

Lawrence tells me all this on the tiny, canopied veranda of the Muddy Waters Cafe.  From that swell vantage point, you can easily spy on the big, triple-decker ferries pulling in from the Long-Island Sound.

He relates all the sad details of his failed dating-life and his refusal to accept defeat in the face of near-certain perpetual bachelorhood.  Basically, he’s a twenty-five year old virgin, deluded enough to think that some pretty young thing is going to be ABSOLUTELY CAPTIVATED…..SWEPT AWAY by his “special” qualities -- qualities so unique and hidden that society at large can’t even BEGIN to recognize the importance of his contributions to humanity.

Now there’s nothing too offensive about Lawrence.  He’s your typical, well-off suburban black (skinny, well-dressed, decent-hygiene), but still, there’s just something …..something about him that’s hard to nail down, but, God, does it repel women worse than a ski-mask in a dimly lit parking lot! Maybe it has to do with his soft-spoken demeanor: one that seems so alien, so strange, in contrast to the swaggering, dumb machismo of most black men.

I offer friendly advice.  It’s not the best advice, but I feel an obligation to do what I can to assuage his loneliness. 

“Lawrence, buddy.  I know this place that’s kind of close, where you can get some decent pink stuff for cheap.  No shit, man: Two girls for $175, and they’ll let you put it anywhere you want.”

“I don’t want to pay for it” he says.  “I want a chick who likes me for my personality”.

I laughed at him.  “You end up paying for sex, anyway, Lawrence!  Everybody knows that.  The difference is, that the one who takes the money after fucking won't try to cage you up.”  It would be too cruel to tell him the truth -- that no good-looking, stable girl could ever get past his kookiness, and quirky, non-sequitur come-ons.  In the best of possible outcomes, he could possibly end up with some morbidly obese, ECW-watching, mouth-breather tail, but he won’t ever find the girl of his dreams.

“I just can’t do it.  I want it to be real” Lawrence is steadfast – a solid concrete foundation.

“Have it your way”, I tell him.   How can I argue the point?  He's got more willpower than most men could ever hope for.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 1:56:05 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 1:55:10 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Some girls love nerds. And quirkiness. And someone who doesn't pretend to be something he's not. And someone with a positive outlook.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 1:56:04 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I hope Lawrence lands and nails some grade A chickadee.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 1:58:48 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		He's not a bad-looking guy, but, when it comes down to communicating with people, he's just got this incredible social-ineptitude.  I'm almost led to believe that the guy has Asperger's Syndrome or something.  He's fairly bright, but he just doesn't grasp how "normals" talk to one another.  I've actually met quite a few people like that.  They're friendly and disarming, but you've gotta wonder where that kind of inability to socialize springs from.  Is it some kind of neurological short-circuit or what?

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 2:04:02 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 1:59:49 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KRANWEST
In the best of possible outcomes, he could possibly end up with some morbidly obese, ECW-watching, mouth-breather tail,


Someone is channeling domiguy.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:08:48 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		"The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends." Samuel Johnson

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:14:18 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		Hell, maybe Lawrence just exists on some higher moral sphere than the rest of us. 

I've been his close friend for two and a half years, and I still don't get him.  His sisters are both Ivy League, well-adjusted overachievers, but Lawrence almost seems to be the progeny of different parents.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 2:15:03 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:17:16 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Gee, OP, with friends like you seem to be who hold Lawrence in such "high" esteem, I feel really bad for the dude. I hope that this(  in your eyes, at least) "ugly duckling" one day soon finds his inner voice, accepts himself as he is and turns into the swan that each of us can be, despite our "limitations".

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:19:34 PM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with being a romantic. A lot of people believe in the dream rather than the reality. When they've seen the same Hollywood storyline a thousand times, it's what they aim for.

They never find it for long.

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:24:21 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		I hope the best for Lawrence as well.  It's just that most women perceive Lawrence as being "creepy."  I know that he's the nicest guy in town, but gals receive this "serial killer" frequency in his presence. The guy is harmless and well-intentioned, but he's had two sexual harrassment claims at work, from girls who just couldn't stand his "aura".

I'd feel safe leaving Lawrence around my girlfriend for the day, but even she picks up strange vibes when he comes around.

I've always thought that the popular concept of feminine intuition was bullshit, anyway.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 2:31:38 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:34:15 PM   
UR2Badored


Posts: 506
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		Edited because I read OP profile after I jotted down my thoughts

< Message edited by UR2Badored -- 4/12/2008 2:36:56 PM >

_____________________________

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way
Mark Twain

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 2:44:30 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		This thread is about contrasting attitudes and odd contradictions.....primarily my own jaded, world-weariness juxtaposed with Lawrence's fresh-faced, ingenuous world-view.  But, in much the same sense that Gregor Samsa wakes up as a monster-like"vermin" in Kafka's Metamorphosis, Lawrence's so-called creepy exterior reflects the polar opposite of his internal state.  In short, this post is about contrast.  I do care about my friend, but you can't help but to have those feelings.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 2:48:06 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to UR2Badored)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:04:20 PM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I didn't mean to come down on you, OP. Perhaps I got the wrong impression. If so, I apologize.

Yanno, I know more than a few chicks who just love the "serial killer" vibe. This situation reminds me of a DeNiro movie in which he plays a man who has had a stroke that leaves him partially paralyzed and with a speech impediment. The name of the movie is "Flawless" (1999), not many people have seen it, but I like it. Anyway, DeNiro's character is bemoaning his condition and the fact that he thinks no one will want to fuck him as he is. He says something like "who's gonna want me like this"? His friend answers, "well, you'll just have to find those that do". And he does. So can Lawrence, if he tries.


_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:17:34 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		Flawless!

Just when I thought that I was the only person in America who had seen the film!  It's an underrated movie if you ask me.  Dinero learns valuable life lessons through "singing-lessons" with a "unique" music instructor.  I saw it when I was 20, and thought to myself, "That's a really good flick."  Too bad that nobody ever watches it.

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:21:37 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		Gets me in the mood to watch "Heat" again.  I really should, I guess  The girlfriend's headed to this silly Avril Lavigne concert with her family, and I'm bored to the max, Brothers and Sisters.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 3:22:25 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:21:49 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline
quote:


“It’ll happen for me eventually, Kranwest. Maybe it won’t happen right now, but it WILL OCCUR -- just whenever the time is right. It has to happen someday, you know?”


i dont believe in this.... there are plenty of people who are destined to be alone for life its just a fact.  there is not someone for everyone.  that is a crock.


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to KRANWEST)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:33:06 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:


“It’ll happen for me eventually, Kranwest. Maybe it won’t happen right now, but it WILL OCCUR -- just whenever the time is right. It has to happen someday, you know?”


i dont believe in this.... there are plenty of people who are destined to be alone for life its just a fact.  there is not someone for everyone.  that is a crock.



Ain't that the truth!  I know a ton of people who just sit ALONE in their own houses or cramped studio apartments, watching television, and masturbating to internet pornography.

Another friend of mine (no, I'm NOT making this up) is morbidly obese, and is actually balls deep in the process of arranging a "marriage" with a twenty-one year old Chinese girl.  He met the girl's aunt at work, and he's working towards putting away enough dough to take that fateful flight to the Orient.  There's alot of red-tape he has to work around, but he'll do anything to escape a life of bland, grinding loneliness and microwavable "Hungry Man" dinners.

I guess I just bond with alot of lonely people.

< Message edited by KRANWEST -- 4/12/2008 3:38:16 PM >

_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:37:36 PM   
lalbobbilynn


Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO, and not at Your friend per se, but rather laughing at his underdog attitude!! Excellent outlook on his part. i am interested if his version will ever come to be; keep us posted!
b.~

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:38:16 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		your my future wife...marry me...you'll get free health care if you move here.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to lalbobbilynn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Advice Given to a Lonely Friend - 4/12/2008 3:42:26 PM   
KRANWEST


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		Ha ha ha!!!!

She has NO idea what she's getting into.

This is an actual quote from the obese friend:
           
" I don't think I'd ever cheat on my future wife.  That is, unless she refused to do anal."

Keep in mind, that my other friend is also a twenty-something virgin, just like Lawrence.


_____________________________

Formerly known as TreSwank

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Advice Given to a Lonely Friend Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094