quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Ahhh...Spring is here, and a young man's fancy turns to "what can I find in the garden to really mark up her ass tonight!?" 

The problem with rose stems, when I've tried it, Ms. H. is the little buggers are SURPRISINGLY flimsy once you get a few good hard spanks in.  Now I tried it with the stems from 3 doz American Beauties that had been dried for a week, and the heads lopped off.  More mess and fragmented rose stems than impact.  But YMMV.

I wish I could find a source of stinging nettles.  While all the books say they grow around here, I can never find them in my walks in the woods.  NO ONE imports them as they are classed as a noxious weed.  I've even tried ethnic groceries (they are a BIG Easter dish in several eastern European cultures -- but no go.  The lovely Romanian woman down the street tells me since she's been in the USA, they've used spinach (and NO she didn't ask me why I wanted them...dammit *WINK*)

What I like this time of year is to cut some birch rods.  There are some lovely silver birches on a short walk near my home (yes, they are forest preserve trees and yes, I'm probably committing some sort of heinous crime...but I've cut switches from the same trees for about 7 years, now, and the trees are doing fine!)  In a few weeks, I'll cut maybe 4 dozen switches, bind 7-10 in a nice birch rod style...and....SPRINGTIME toys!

E.

somewhere near your birches, look for pasture, long grass, in fact it is often called machinery weed, (as are several others) look for abandoned machinery, old farms, anything that is heavy with dew in the morning and hot as hell in the afternoon

Where the hell you at now, EMP?  singing nettle is ubitquious.  First of all it probably isnt in the woods many places, more at wet places that get hot,
Generally considered a wasteland plant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stinging_nettle

before you go beating the shit outta anyone with them, some people are very sensitive to formic acid (same thing that hurts you when an ant (formica) bites you) so first have them hold a leaf in their palm for 10 minutes, if their hand swells up like a balloon, then wash it with soap and water, have them use lotion (some form of grease) on it.  Give it up.

Regarding the rose shit.  Soak the stems for 24 hours in a 10% bleach solution, or there is a much better smelling eucalyptus solution out there, one brand name is odo-ban, and you can get it at walmart and what not.  Dry ones are going to fall apart and come unglued easily.  Rose stems are not particularly rough and ready in any case, and you ain't gonna have to whack an ass very hard anyway to get the thorns to do their legendary thing..............think of it as beating them with a feather or a drinking straw.

Birch rods, that is the bomb, also useful if you wanna get out after it to soak them in warmish water for 24 hours before use, the old saunas, we cut birch twigs and branches before the leaves fall and stick them in a tub of water (leaves down) and use them to get the blood up in the winter, you will swear you have died and went to heaven.  Talk about your red ass. The water gets brown, but that is just the tannins coming out of it.

Ron 

quote:

Ironitulstahp:  What kind of sick people are You anyway???

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor
One thing I want to do, is a whipping with a mix of regular bush cuttings infused with stalks of thorny rose bush---anyone done this?