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Switch as a slave.... - 4/14/2008 3:32:29 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Good Morning all of my fellow CMers....I have a question for the switches. I am a switch by nature, not sub not slave not fully dominant either (its kid of like being bipolar or with multiple personalities LOL) I have been a slave and Domme in past years and fought hard to stay out of those parts of the lifestyle...more Top and bottoming at Munches and play parties. I have recently been offered a promise collar from a Master whom I have known, played and become friends with for over a year. He has worked hard to convince me to be his slave. Though W/we are not sure how to deal with my switch side. Are there any switches who are owned? How do you deal with the more Dominant side? **and no its not something that I can just turn off until Im at a party** I am a Vet Tech/Dog trainer and I own large hybrid dogs and need to be in a Dominant state of mind daily while dealing with these types of dogs. Thank you all for your input. Master Dragons considered slave pettingdragons..."Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..."
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RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/14/2008 10:13:16 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I am an owned slave and an Internet Domme.  I offered to give up my Domme status but my Master prefers me to keep it and simply not do real time play. 

When I am with Him I never try to top from the bottom, am totally submissive, and O/our journey gives me the greatest fulfillment I have ever had in my life.  As a Domme I get the chance to help people to live their fantasies, have it in my profile that I am not looking for an LTR with them, but get to polish my teaching skills and practice really getting into someone's head (something that is my passion).  I make it clear that it is Internet only - that my real time play is saved for my Master.  That doesn't stop the subs from flocking to me.  In fact, it seems that many of them like the fact that I am a slave because it means that I automatically (in their mind) understand them more fully.

Just one example.  I'm sure there are others out there.  It works well for me.

_____________________________



(in reply to pettingdragons)
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RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/14/2008 11:45:54 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		I was thinking of that situation. Master doesnt mind if I top in public as long as he is there and we have talked about it before. I find that switching throughout the day is what I am used to doing. If I spend too much time in one space or the other I feel like I lose myself and I become very unhappy. I cant seem to get normal daily things accomplished. Does that make sense?

thank you for your time and two cents  :)
Pamela
(Considered slave to Master Dragon)

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/14/2008 8:02:16 PM   
MissAngelandsub


Posts: 144
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		I am a switch but I submit to my husband, we are currently looking for someone to join us that I could Domme under his direction. So far my dominant side is not being used but I am finding some good outlets online that are fulfilling my need to be in control even if it isn't having a submissive or slave

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/15/2008 12:24:23 AM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a switch and slave to Michael. He has no interest in controlling that part of my life outside of deciding what is my availability to interact with submissives. I find that if our dynamic is strong, meaning when we are really connecting,  I have the "energy" to pursue other relationships or interactions in which I am the Dominant partner. If it is not strong, I have little interest in Topping others. Its like I get my Topside energy when I am most focused as His slave. Kinda backward i suppose lol. Our protocol is rather low to non-existant so perhaps that is what keeps me from having the burn to be Toppish a great deal. From outsiders looking in, it is often difficult for them to tell who is the Dominant. We interact primarily as "equals" for lack of a better term, but we both know who's in charge. I am also rather Dominant in my career, i'm my own boss, and supervise others, and i have a gaggle of  "aliens" to raise.  So, how we handle it I guess is that if I want to interact with someone as the Dominant, I ask if that's ok and to date, He's never had a problem with it. He states he loves watching me Top others and gets a great deal of satisfaction from knowing that I choose to submit to Him although I have the ability to Dominate others.

Hope that made some kind of sense..lol..its 2:23 a.m. here.

-michael's

(in reply to MissAngelandsub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/15/2008 4:53:09 AM   
RippedTwisted2


Posts: 14
Joined: 10/27/2007
From: upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I am my husband's property entirely, and NEVER switch with him... however, I am allowed to have a slave, even 24/7 r/l if I want one (right now, I'm not looking), and when we have play partners we generally co-top the other girl.  However, I too have to maintain my dominant nature at different points during an average day, due to the life we have... we are both disabled, have kids, pets, breed cats, write professionally etc.  I simply can't be in a submissive headspace while fighting the govt. for services, or a zillion other examples I could name.  This tends to make me kind of bitchy, but he deals with it by warning me not to send it in his direction, and if I snap at him, or am overbearing with him, I am punished for it later that evening, once I am calm and removed from the situation that made me have to "get tough" in the first place.  I would ask him if he would allow you to keep a slave, either just for you or for the both of you to enjoy, but who is totally under your direction.... and if you fall out of your submissive headspace with your dom, due to real life stress and pressures, he can punish you for taking it out on him, once you are removed from the situation.-- Twisted

_____________________________

"I came into your world, and kicked you in the mind, and I'm the only witness to the nature of my crime"

"He was born dead and just got older"

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/15/2008 8:43:44 PM   
TeachMeTonight


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline 		I am slave to my master and have a relationship with a submissive male where I am the dominant partner.  He is happy to let me have this relationship and in fact encourages it.  I too am dominant in my work place.  Skip Chasey believes that slaves are often actually dominant people who choose to surrender.  I like this observation because I relate to it .  I posted an article I wrote on the subject under "The Switch Challenge - The Switch Reward" you might like reading.

_____________________________

Yours in Leather
Teach Me Tonight


(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/15/2008 11:23:36 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		I've always agreed with Master Skips take on this. I have wondered why so many switches I know actually identify as slaves rather than submissives when on the bottom. I tend to tell folks that i am Michael's slave and a Dominant as well.

thanks for the thought,
-michael's

(in reply to TeachMeTonight)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/16/2008 5:50:22 AM   
BloodLuna


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline 		I started out a slave back oh . . .  14 years ago in college.  Spent a year owned then at 19 received my first slave.  I spent the following oh - 10 years - as a Mistress and enjoyed every moment of it.  Then in late 2005 I met the Master here on collarme.  He was a switch and at the time seeking a Mistress or another switch.  He came out and stayed with me for a while.  I was going through some traumatic personal experiences at the time and after a conversation that lasted several days, I accepted a collar from him.  It was the first time in 13 years I had been in a safe, loving situation with a person who had a more aggressive will than I.  LOL.  I spent the last two years in dedicated service to him.
 
Most recently we discovered that my dominant nature cannot be denied.  I am not content with an occassional play date with submissive friends.  Slave or not, I crave a slave at my feet.  When the need to dominate overwhelms me, I can occassionally take out my dominant aggression in play with the Master.  But the "switch"  for me is a difficult one to reach to turn off and on, so I drastically dislike stepping out of my place to play unless the Master feels the need for submission (which he occassionally does)
 
Dealing with my switch nature isn't as complicated as having to live with the label of being a switch.  I often feel as if slaves and submissives alike read the word switch and automatically assume that because I submit to a Man, I cannot possibly dominate one. 
 
I hope I addressed your question OP, if not, please feel free to ask for clarification.  I'm not too verboise at 745 in the morning w/o a pot of coffee in me.
 
Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"



(in reply to michaels4evr)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/16/2008 6:53:53 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		MissAngelandsub
There are have many outlets for my Dominant side, fostering hybrids and i am always Dominant around them and at work. Having an outlet is very important.

-michael’s
your words indeed make perfect sense 2;23 am or not LOL. Master has given me “free reign” so to speak to continue in my work and other interests. Master has never had to deal with a switch before but it strong in his knowledge that I am his in everyway. I would gladly give up much for Master though he knows it would indeed over time make me unhappy. Time will tell on weather he enjoys seeing my top or not. J  Ill let you know after this weekend at the Woodshed…we are both going as Demons (its an Angels and Demons party).

Twisted
I require a VERY strong Dominant to top me and an even stronger Master to enslave me. He would never allow toping and I wouldn’t dream of it…
I fully understand about having to be Dominant all day. Master and I have spoken of the occasion when I might snap. We have made a few sentences and words that are warnings to each other of mood. If I am in the middle of wrestling a 150lbs wolf to the ground and he calls I am to just inform Master of my issue and agree that I shall call him back when I am finished and in a better state of mind. He has a greed to that especially since this is new to me.

TeachMeTonight- What a wonderful observation!! Surrender is not in my nature forever…its fun for a night or a weekend play but not for everyday 24/7. Master has been working hard on seducing the surrender instead of just ripping it from me…he makes me “want” to serve him in all ways. I will defiantly attain that book J

Lady Luna,
I started out as a collared slave, bought and sold as cattle. I have been branded, tagged, and tattooed. I finally got out of the lifestyle for a few years coming back into it as a Switch preferring to Dominant. Never to be “slave” again. Only top or bottom.
Master and I have been friends for a few years and over time as taught me that “being owned” can be a wonderful thing. Not something harsh and hurting. Though Master can be rough and brutal in our “play” he is always aware of his slave’s reaction and will push the limits but not send one crashing over the edge in the darkness.
He will NOT submit to another and I have always felt that one who submits to me is not Dominant enough for me. Though I KNOW that is not true in other cases. Just in my mind….the wonderfully insane place that it is….
It is wonderful to hear your story and your shared experience. It allows one to know that every dynamic is different and if one works hard at it one can find happiness. J
I was worried when I posted this that it would be come an neverending list of “fixits” but I posted with intent to share stories of differences that are all around us. I really enjoy hearing from others that things really do work and it only takes communications and patience.
Thank you all for your posts…
pamela
(Master Dragons considered slave)My mind is like a bad neighborhood;
don't ever go in unarmed or alone

(in reply to BloodLuna)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/16/2008 1:04:49 PM   
PrettyPaddles


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		To say a little more succinctly what everyone is saying.  Being collared does not mean that you have to be 100 percent submissive all the time. If your master to be feels that it DOES, that would give me pause and worry right there.  Hell, depending on the situation, it doesn't even mean that you have to be submissive to your master all the time.  I know a couple slaves that occasionally top their owner, becuase that is what they have been ordered to do. 

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/17/2008 2:46:37 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		PrettyPaddles- Maser and i have already gone over what W/we feel the definitions of a bottom, submissive, and slave are. For U/us a slave is submissive to Master 24/7. The is not the case for everyone. Everyones view is different on Titles, lifestyle definitions, even the term "play" can be misinterpreted. That is all a part of the importance of communication before the relationship. Clarification on what it means to you....there are hundreds of threads on what a sub or slave is and arguments galore.....W/w feel its personal...its what you want it to be....and not everyone has to see it O/our way....just like not everyone is into hard edge play....   pamelaMaster Dragons considered slave**Life isnt about waiting out the storm ...or learning to dance in the rain....its about crawing your way through the mud while being greatful for the cleansing mud bath**

(in reply to PrettyPaddles)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/17/2008 7:00:12 AM   
indianslave37


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		I am a little confused here. All postings are being a dom and slave in different scenarios with different people. What about taking a dom AND sub role with the same person? Isnt that the true definition of Switch?

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/17/2008 8:06:31 AM   
PrettyPaddles


Posts: 36
Joined: 4/13/2008
Status: offline 		Petting, to the MASTER, i agree.  if you are a collared slave, that should be 100 percent submissive TO THE MASTER. But not 100 percent submissive to EVERYONE, which is what i meant.  My apologies for the misunderstanding.

And indeed, every relationship is unique. 

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/17/2008 9:01:39 PM   
TeachMeTonight


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/13/2006
Status: offline 		Skipping a rant about the word "true."  Your definition would mean both partners are switching.

I am an owned slave who has a second relationship with a submissive man where I am the domiant partner.  I identify as a switch because of this and I do not switch with either of them.

_____________________________

Yours in Leather
Teach Me Tonight


(in reply to indianslave37)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/18/2008 5:14:35 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		Indianslave37- The topic is dealing with a new M/s relationship when the slave is a switch. I wanted other peoples opinions on how they feel about this scenario. If someone else is a slave switch and how they deal with it....In my opinion I am a switch, not a slave who switches, that is not the same as a slave switch...LOL  I'm kidding with you....but I would be careful of using words like True, Never and Always. These are words with no absolutes... in the lifestyle.... PrettyPaddlesOh yes...I agree...Submitting 100% 24/7 is becoming less of a struggle everyday...:)  I am having less difficulties then I thought I would being around Master and the dog at the same time. The dog is a foster hybrid that respond instantly to submissive behavior..Each relationship is different and unique.... TeachMeTonight -LMAO...."Skipping a rant about the word "true." "I do not switch with my Master but I have switched at parties where when I wasn't wearing clothes I was dominant and naked when I was submissive... LOL pamelaMaster Dragon's considered slave and kinky kitten extraordinaire



(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/18/2008 10:36:52 AM   
captainwomble


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline 		indianslave37 - yes this is offtopic, but in the hopes that a quick reply will not offend,
Everybody uses these labels differently.
To me what you have described is exactly how I consider it should be used, but this consideration is, as these labels are a by product of an attempt to categorise into a finite (and almost single syllable manner I might add) what should be an utterly indefinable experience, entirely a personal experience.

I will point out however that people can use labels to mean whatever they like, and as I am sure many are familiar, there will always be those who compeletely mis-use terms in any sense of the word (like all the so-called dom/mes who wouldnt even know how to control themselves in most situations, let alone others, but get by on sheer arrogance, and an inelegant brutish application of force)

(in reply to indianslave37)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/20/2008 7:45:27 PM   
Dreammster


Posts: 23
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: indianslave37

I am a little confused here. All postings are being a dom and slave in different scenarios with different people. What about taking a dom AND sub role with the same person? Isnt that the true definition of Switch?




It is quite the tragic circumstance,   which switch is which.

Sounds like it takes some experience to be able to tell exactly which of our instincts enslaves our libido.

But then,  I usually enjoy just being with the partner and seeing how many times we can change directions in the course of a play weekend or week.  Sometimes we switch off the switch part and just stay in one relationship paradigm.

Hope you are well

_____________________________

Behavior and Attitude
These are important in all things

All else remains only a collection of baggage of curiously meaningless facts and figures.

(in reply to indianslave37)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/21/2008 6:10:53 AM   
pettingdragons


Posts: 421
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		"It is quite the tragic circumstance,   which switch is which. "
LOL i shall screen that onto a tank top!! thank you

"Sounds like it takes some experience to be able to tell exactly which of our instincts enslaves our libido. " 

"But then,  I usually enjoy just being with the partner and seeing how many times we can change directions in the course of a play weekend or week.  Sometimes we switch off the switch part and just stay in one relationship paradigm. "
i used to attend parties where if my clothes where on i was top or off i was bottom...it only got complicated when i was wearing just boots and a hat...LOL
thank you for sharing your thoughts....
be well
pamela
**Master Dragon's considered slave and honey pot**


(in reply to Dreammster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Switch as a slave.... - 4/22/2008 11:58:51 PM   
impossiblesub


Posts: 150
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline 		My thoughts:
Perhaps your Master will let you use another sub for play, that would probably be the best outlet. The right master should be able to keep you in check, although that depends upon your personality and if he is capable enough.

(in reply to pettingdragons)
Profile   Post #: 20
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