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Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 3:46:27 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		mistoferin's post made me think about this http://www.collarchat.com/m_1787844/tm.htm , and its something I have actually been pondering abstactly for a while and thought maybe it was time to talk about it.

I remember not so long ago when I stumbled into all of this jazz without a clue what i felt or whether it was for me or any of that stuff. I read loads of differant ideas and immitated how people spoke. I saw it all as a bit of a compatition, it was all very cliquey, it would be conversations about who has done what activities and thats how you were judged.

Thankfully I have grown up a bit now, I am more confident about who I am and I have seen a bit more of reality and I am far more aware about myself, of course im not there yet. But this leads me to the point of my post, it took me eighteen months to get where I am now, its all actually very recent that I have felt like this, before I constantly questioned myself, I read how people speak about their relationships and how people at meets talk about them and it all seemed so dramatic to me.

The change has come with actually seeing relationships, making friends with people and seeing how things work and the reality is so differant to the projection, whether they realise that or not is another thing. I therefore suddenly clicked and thought I have been insecure and worried due to wanting to live up to something that didnt even exsist, and then I thought why would I want to live up to it anyway. It has taken me this long to genuienly think that, I have always cared what people think, I think even those that say they dont do really, and i havent suddenly stopped but it has made me a bit more aware that I have my own motivations. What makes me a bit sad is that people need to fabricate their own lives in this way, to put themselves on these imaginary pedistools, this wont change of course, and newbies are joining every day and will go down the same road and feel the same self doubt and lack of confidence.

We all find ourselves here for our own reasons, each persons are their own none is more valid than another. This need to create a heirarchy even if we ironically say twue or whatever is so sad we all know really that nothing is perfect that there is no real way to do anything, if anything this need to project an ideal shows a heck of a lot of insecurity, sometimes the real is far more beautiful.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/14/2008 3:53:49 PM >

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 3:52:37 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		your link doesnt work here is the fix. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1787844/tm.htm

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"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 3:56:23 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Ta Phin hun

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 6:57:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		One of the downsides about getting into the culture after spending a lot of time reading and fantasizing, is that the culture tends to become what you've imagined it to be.  Obviously, it really never is and a lot of people can't take that- and they'll do whatever they can to keep from facing that scary reality and forcing themselves to "lose" something they've held onto for so long.

Of course by losing that illusion, they gain the security of the real, and the freedom to be true.

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 7:05:35 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The tarns are cryng.

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 9:50:14 PM   
MzHard


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		who knew there where insightful ppl here

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RE: Basing life on fiction - 4/14/2008 10:47:12 PM   
DDraigeuraid


Posts: 321
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline 		And you call yourself a twue sub?  LOL  Actually, truer (twuerer?) words I have not read in awhile.  I had a sub several years ago who, while she was breaking up with me, stated she wanted to be O.  Don't know if she ever attained it, but I hope she found what she wanted.  But not with me.  I tried explaining that I was not in favor of slavery, that it was a fantasy.  Some out there want to live the fantasy life, whether Top/Dom/Master/Slave Owner, or bottom/sub/slave.  If you find what makes you happy, great.  If it is not making you happy, why bother?  For a lot of us, life goes on.  We get up in the morning, we go to work, we have issues with children, or spouses, or work, or whatever.  Hopefully, if we are not to tired at the end of the day, and are in some kind of D/s relationship, we might have time to play that night.  This is certainly not meant to denigrate those of us who are in a Master/slave relationship.  Just don't base your life on what you think the "BDSM IDEAL" life is.  If your life is happy, and you are fulfilled, despite what others think of you, then you have attained the ideal.

Dragon

< Message edited by DDraigeuraid -- 4/14/2008 10:48:16 PM >

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