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mypain56 -> RE: This is for the other in love subs or slaves out there.. (4/17/2008 10:07:47 AM)
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My experience with falling for a Dominant is not such a good idea if your one too carry your heart on your sleeve. Even though it's difficult a submiisive usually ends up getting hurt. Several years ago, when first coming out in our world in actual terms. I once met a Dominant who seemed to mirror my interests, he was gorgeous, biker, very in control so it seemed. We talked for quite sometime ( a few months) and He only lived an hour from me so on our first meet which was in public, safe call,and went to another couples apartment in the lifestyle. Anyway, we continued to talk and online talk. Two weeks later he wanted me to come up and visit and meet his Mother and i cooked dinner for the both of them and started getting to know his Mother i even cleaned her house because she had just gotten out of the hospital from back surgery lovely woman, He decided that weekend to attempt to collar me i had never been collared by anyone and had no clue what it was about but i did not feel comfortable with it. It was just too soon. We continued on with the involvement him being very endearing and caring??????? Then like a bolt of lightening i see his true colors but i already felt as though i was falling for him, he told me that i would re-locate, and give him most of my paycheck to buy him a motorcycle (harley) so being the dumbass that i was and nieve i started the moving process,i found an apartment closer to him he wanted me to find a very young girl to join us and me support us all because he wouldn't help with anything. in the meantime trying to manage all my bills, driving back and forth, i found myself very stressed out, broke and evicted from my house from where i was moving. I lost everything, even my animal that i had for 8 years. My landlords sold everything i owned and i was left with nothing, did he help NO he did not. Now him knowing how i felt about him didn't matter to him he told me it was my problem. Because of the situation i allowed myself to be in i ws hospitalized for an undetermined amount of time, while being in there i called him and his reply to the problem was that i was a worthless piece of shit that deserves everything i get, a cunt and numerous other humiliating things. When i actually got out of the hospital i was put in a stablization unit for serveral months (3) then upon leaving there i was homeless for 2 1/2 years living on the streets or in a homeless shelter. This is what i recieved from being nieve and wanting and needing acceptance, he hurt me will i ever do this again HELL NO. i have learned, to guard your self against pretenders of the lifestyle people that are not real and not to fall for someone at face value. Now several years later and a little wiser, even though i am a submissive though and though i do not fall, but with said,i am in consideration, involved with a very wonderful man, very responsible, caring, respectful. But we are just at a point where we are establishing all those important qualities, we are taking it slowly. Do i care for Him yes very much do i love him in many ways yes, am i in love with Him no i am not.And i probably will not be for quite sometime, He does say love ya every so often, but nothing more than that. Would i like for this to pan out certainly but only time will tell. Just don't fall for anybody you meet online because 9 times out of ten there not what they seem to be. Melly
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