RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 1:49:21 PM

rook42

Posts: 110
Joined: 10/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

On this board I regularly hear people say "It's Not MY job to babysit the newbie." or "Why should I coddle the world?" and My point is what point does it serve to put them down or treat them poorly because they don't know something YET.

It isn't someone's job to babysit the newbie, any more than it is there job to belabor the fact it isn't their job. For ages upon ages ...It's not your obligation to remove obstacles from a newbies path, but it's not your personal right to present them, either.

Dunno who Chris M is, but I think the points were reasonable(if... blah). The observations were good, but the recommendations could have been a lot easier- "Dont cause drama, even if it's fun to gossip or snipe". Just waiting for "Mill's Harm Principle" to start getting used.

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 2:53:16 PM

Prinsexx

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Dear Steel:
I read every word.
I marked it band 5, effort grade 2.
comments:
Be very careful about projecting your own personal judgments without clear evidence.
Whilst the sentiments are laudable and culturally appropriate for a certain (US) 'scenes' (especially the Glitterati) they would not be as easily applied to private parties (Privaterati) or sado-masochistic relationships.
Overall? A culture bound system Try harder next time.

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 5:31:11 PM

Arrrchibald

Posts: 350
Joined: 1/3/2008
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I agree with most of it.

But really, just treat others how you'd like to be treated.

Not a heck of a lot more to it than that.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 6:46:26 PM

chellekitty

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Joined: 3/27/2005
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FR

i skimmed over it (sorry the ADHD kicked in at about the second line...) and agree with it for the most part...i am coming from the point of view of someone who has dropped out of the local scene because of incivility...i won't go back because certain Dominants are more "respected" (read - been around longer and had no one question their tearing down others, which they have, i have even been a part of that tearing down and it sucks, i didn't realize it until too late) than i am and they have spread nasty half truths about our personal business with certain people and in other ways made it extremely uncomfortable for me to go to any local events...and i am of the "if it's not fun, why do it" crowd...and for a long time the people in the local scene have been trying to figure out what can we do to make it better, because other people have dropped out before me and splintered off - certainly not all for the same reason as me - but for other reasons all highlighted in this article...

as for the solution...sure it might work...if the everyone agreed that everyone had a part in making things go downhill (not the new people but the people who have been around for a signifigant amount of time), but even 1 or 2 people saying that they had no part in the downhill slide will destroy the efforts of everyone else...one bad apple spoils the bunch...

chelle

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 7:05:48 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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fr.

A lot of problems in scenes come from when little groups of people decide that they are going to force thier fantasies on the larger group.

It's usually reffered to as "Lifestyle" to try and justify this tactic. The group then tries to find more members-and comes up with some smoke and mirrors to misdirect thier actual intent.

This often parades in the guise of "tolerance."

Intolerant people are trying to destroy "the lifestyle".

Even though that may be total bullshit. And richly deserving of same.

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RE: ~~Civility and Incivility in the Scene~~ - 4/15/2008 7:21:41 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
It says that Masters can often get caught up in thier own Pompas Bullshit and come off as Arrogant Jackasses.

Yeah, but......writing a long article lecturing and telling everyone how to fix it....is a form of being pompous. I dislike being lectured and while I can appreciate the jist, I dislike his tone that he has all the answers. BDSM is a slice of life. It reflects what goes on in general society, but is intensified by the close quarters. As Henry Kissinger said, "University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. "

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