StormsSlave
Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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Thank you, all of you, who responded to this post.
First of all:
the.dark--It was difficult to take questions that were within the context of a conversation and pull them out of that context for the sake of this. The questions were asked specifically regarding the relationship between My Lord and myself. They were asked in a spirit of curiosity and a real desire to understand how we work. The questions were set to that conversation. However, it would take a whole lot of boring background crap to make it make sense that way, and I didn't want everyone doing this....
However, the questions stopped me, and I did a great deal of thinking about my own answers before replying to my friend. Since my own thinking was really going in circles about it, I thought it would be beneficial and, well, thought provoking, to hear what others had to say.
ownedgirlie--
I loved what you had to say. You've had me thinking since I read it, and it has definitely given me food for thought.
eyesopened--
I understand what you're trying to say about authority. quote:
We will engage in BDSM activities in private, M/s is how we live, not what we do.
This really struck me, and I loved the way you said it. That really makes perfect sense.
Prinsexx--Thank you for your candor and for sharing this. I understand how you feel. I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a terrible time. But, as My Lord often says to me, "You got out." Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
littlebitxxx-quote:
As for outside the bedroom or playroom, I have a really hard time with the authority transfer, power exchange, whatever you call it. I don't trust anyone enough to know better than me what's a good decision for me. I don't want to give up my independence and my autonomy. I don't want to "serve" another just because it pleases them, or it's what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to have to submit to his will, I have my own will to consider. I'm probably nervous that any giving of any authority is going to go into a downhill slide toward the "all about me" crap. And I don't take orders well at all. ;) So if I extend my so-called submission to outside the bedroom what's to stop it from taking off? There is an addiction to the feeling and yes, I can see where it would become overpowering and want to continue into every facet of life. So stopping it at the bedroom door is probably a fail-safe for me.
This really hit home with me. I appreciate your blunt honesty. I really liked what you had to say.
MasterFireMaam-quote:
Usually, I call what happens in the bedroom 'bottoming'. It's HOT...it's FUN and it's MEANINGFUL...but it's not a long-lasting state of mind. I see submission as a state of mind...but usually only to one person or a few people, not necessarily the world (although there are people who seem to be that way). I see slavery as a state of heart/spirit...one where the person simply isn't spiritually complete unless they have a Master to serve.
This just makes so much sense. You really put it into perspective.
OmegaGquote:
he wouldn't have been interested in my submission to him if I couldn't be independent and assertive, those were traits he looked for, he wasn't looking for another child to look after.
I liked what you had to say. I think it takes more strength to submit in daily life then it takes to command, don't you?
My answers to the questions are below.
Can't you be slave to One and strong and decisive to the world at large?
As for being a slave, as I shared with My Lord, the very idea of it makes me feel claustrophobic. The dynamic would click in that, in relationship, I expect my thoughts and opinions to be heard. I expect something to be done. I am going to speak my mind, even if it disagrees with yours. In some ways, I am a control freak, and my ability to maintain my autonomy is one of the most important controls. I've been setting myself aside for too many years for relationships, and am not willing to do that at this point. A slave, by definition, keeps their mouth shut and does what they are told.
I also couldn't imagine submitting to any man except My Lord. That's not to say it's impossible, just not likely. There is a dynamic between us that is unique to us and for us creates that which we need to be able to be who we are. We wake up beside our best friend every day. It's brilliant, and wonderful, and I've never been happier.
How do you feel about it? Do you feel submission can stop at the bedroom door?
I think we're doing it. I'm sure there are elements of submission to him that seep outside the bedroom door. He says he sees them. I think it's only that I agree with him on most things, and generally choose to pick my battles carefully. When something comes up that matters, I will have a voice in it. Otherwise, most things aren't worth getting worked up about, imho. Does that make me submissive, or lazy? Either way, it's something that needs further thought.
And once you start surrendering in the bedroom, don't you feel -somewhere- a craving to submit in your daily life too?
Not so much. I do trust My Lord implicitly, and have almost since I first met him. It's been an eye opener for myself to realize how quickly and totally I could trust him, but life is funny like that.
Sometimes friction between us is the fault of my inability to accept everything that comes out of his mouth with blanket approval, and he mine. Just not within my ability to do so. As he says, we are usually only angry at one another when the other person is right. :) He's not perfect, and part of my job in the relationship is protecting us. Part of that is being able to speak up when need be. A M/s dynamic nearly eliminates that kind of communication without adding a whole lot of formalities that neither of us wants.
A final note: Please keep in mind that my thoughts were my thoughts based on our relationship, and I in no way speak for the masses. Here is my opinion, as it applies to me, and I don't judge anyone on anything they do.
Thank you for your insightful replies, and for yet more feul for my thoughts.
_____________________________
Congratulate me...I'm a missus!!
--nobody's resident anything.
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RE: Thought Provoking... - 
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