I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain

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Monkeyontuesday -> I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 2:28:59 AM)
And music is my aeroplane. Red Hot Chili Peppers, anyone? ;-) Anyway, I just got to thinking... I am into humiliation and degradation. I enjoy it. But what about my psyche enjoys abuse? I wait tables to keep my lights on, so surely I get more than enough of it at work, much less in something as pleasurable as sex. So, other subs who are into this (or just have thoughts on the matter in general), what is it about it that you enjoy? What nerve does it strike with you?

lvlychaos -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 3:36:32 AM)
I don't really enjoy humiliation/degradation.. but to steal a line from another thread (and I forgot who posted it so.. sorry for not crediting you) that fits for me.. there is a major diffrence between being called a whore and His whore... that really struck a nerve with me and may not be what you're looking for, but...oh well thats just how I feel, with someone expressing it better

Monkeyontuesday -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 3:39:16 AM)
Yes, that is true. I enjoy so-called "rape fantasies"; however, I have been sexually assaulted and just the other day a co-worker touched me inappropriately. I threatened to claw his face to shreds. lol. So what exactly makes it enjoyable in a controlled construct?

lvlychaos -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:04:05 AM)
Honestly, I think its because when you find someone you submit to, you trust them not to go beyond what was agreed on or farther than you can handle.. Out in the big bad world, no ones going to stop if you say "red", they will not respect that vital trust. If that makes any sense at all, sorry I should stop posting with out sleep..lol

colouredin -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:07:47 AM)
Does make sense, again its similar to the op's feminism post, you are choosing it. For me I just fit the dynamic well and I am the same as you if someone random comes up to me and says kneel bitch ill say fuck off. you decide to behave this way with a person you trust. Thats what makes it differant.

RCdc -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:42:50 AM)
It's simply the way one is wired. You do not often see people questioning why they like Nestle over Thorntons - or red heads over blondes. It happens, just not as obviously as it does when it comes to the big PC likes and dislikes - because it touches hot buttons. Once you accept your own foibles and quirks as yours and stop questioning, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to live life. the.dark.

DesFIP -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:52:03 AM)
Not something I do, but those who do enjoy it say they are less shamefilled as a result. That they come out stronger in everyday life as a result of doing this in a controlled environment where after all the humiliation, they are still accepted and loved.

SteelofUtah -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 7:25:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lvlychaos Honestly, I think its because when you find someone you submit to, you trust them not to go beyond what was agreed on or farther than you can handle.. Out in the big bad world, no ones going to stop if you say "red", they will not respect that vital trust. If that makes any sense at all, sorry I should stop posting with out sleep..lol OKay time to piss off some of the masses. I disagree with this statement. In Fact this is a comment that when stated in a Forum usually gets MANY agreeing answers but when the same comment is made in a MAsT Discussion gets a different responce. The Truth of the matter is in the Real world saying Red won't make someone stop but in the BDSM world many subs allow thier Doms to do things that would never be accepted by someone who wasn't in the Kink world with them. I know many subs who say while at munches there are "Friends" who they love when they come up run thier fingers into the back of thier hair and PULL. Now in the Vanilla world if a co-worker did this this would cause Instant issue. I find that the Kinky person in question simply gives up more Inhibitions with those they know to be Kinky than they do with those they know to be Vanilla. I know that I have seen it personally where a Girl in her Vanilla world will guard herself to the hilt but when at that Saturday Night Munch she carries herself like a Bar Wench allowing just about anyone to behave in a manner that would be inappropriate any other time. I think we have a mindset that people who are kinky are just going to be different and we allow that. Now YES there are MANY girls who also carry themselves with dignity and respect while at munches and don't allow men to touch them any other way than shaking thier hand. But ever pay attention to thier demeanor they still usually defer to those who are precieved to be in a Dominating position even if they aren't THIER Dom. Oddly enough I find the exact opposite online and on a few occasions learned the Online demeeanor to be BS. Meaning that I met them in thier home and the way they carried themselves online was just how people expected them to behave which was NOT the way they really did, but they were simply accepted better by putting up this front than by being the person that they were. I have come to learn that I do not always have the popular opinion but at least it is the same opinion no matter what unless I decide to change my mind but that is a whole different thread. The point I am geting at is that Demeanor is judged by many I meet by thier surroundings. For instance girls I meet at Munches and Play parties tend to have a higher Respect Protocol than they do at home or while out at dinner which is why I find it important that I always be ME and andi always be ANDI this way there is no confusion when we are seen anywhere else. So what you see is what you get with me, I do find it odd though that people feel the need to carry on a personna witrh people on these boards that they do not carry in real life. I find that behavior to be Hypocritical at best and serves no purpose but to make it even harder for someone to move from the Online world to the Real World and still be able to cope with Life on Lifes Terms. Just some thoughts Steel

Sundowner -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 11:38:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Monkeyontuesday And music is my aeroplane. Red Hot Chili Peppers, anyone? ;-) Anyway, I just got to thinking... I am into humiliation and degradation. I enjoy it. But what about my psyche enjoys abuse? I wait tables to keep my lights on, so surely I get more than enough of it at work, much less in something as pleasurable as sex. So, other subs who are into this (or just have thoughts on the matter in general), what is it about it that you enjoy? What nerve does it strike with you? Sheesh Monkey - if you could explain this in simple easy terms you could drop your studies and move straight to high-fee psychiatric consultancy. (Do I mean psychology not psychiatry? Whatever - you get the drift). I find it so difficult to get a clear fix on a sub's mindset but of course [here it comes - amazing revelation time - never been said before] everyone's different! It's not too hard to behave in a way, or include play stuff, which pretty much turns a sub on (one hopes) but really to understand how her mind works, to feel confident one fully appreciates her needs - that's tough to achieve. I find it tricky because I'm naturally and instinctively dom but also conditioned by upbringing to be polite and considerate. Not the best qualities in a dom! So one tries to be creative and sensitive in the abuse - do the "right" painful things, follow the "right" abusive treatment, layered on top of what one wants oneself - with the aim of satisfying play and a satisfying relationship for both parties. Some doms just steam on in selfishly without a care for the sub. And for loads of sub's that's wonderful - just what they want. But there are plenty of doms like me who care quite strongly for their sub and, for us, threads like this are great [sm=smile.gif]. Thanks!

DesFIP -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 12:02:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Oddly enough I find the exact opposite online and on a few occasions learned the Online demeeanor to be BS. Meaning that I met them in thier home and the way they carried themselves online was just how people expected them to behave which was NOT the way they really did, but they were simply accepted better by putting up this front than by being the person that they were. I I'd like to address this. If I invite you to my home, that means I already like you, trust you, and respect you. All to a degree of course. I don't automatically like, trust and respect online people, so of course I am not welcoming to them. My behavior is different because of how I feel about you. And if after you've been to my home you then act in a way I recoil from, you won't get another invitation and you will lose my liking, trust and respect.

SteelofUtah -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 12:32:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah Oddly enough I find the exact opposite online and on a few occasions learned the Online demeeanor to be BS. Meaning that I met them in thier home and the way they carried themselves online was just how people expected them to behave which was NOT the way they really did, but they were simply accepted better by putting up this front than by being the person that they were. I'd like to address this. If I invite you to my home, that means I already like you, trust you, and respect you. All to a degree of course. I don't automatically like, trust and respect online people, so of course I am not welcoming to them. My behavior is different because of how I feel about you. And if after you've been to my home you then act in a way I recoil from, you won't get another invitation and you will lose my liking, trust and respect. Okay that is different I'm not talking that in your home you are simply NICER. What I mean is that in thier home they are COMPLETELY different. Online they talk about Master and his stern demaenor and what she is allowed only to offer her opinions in a respectful tone and the Dominant is talking about how he has full control over the house and how his word is LAW. And then you show up for a coffee date and you see NONE of that dynamic being had there. The sub talks NON STOP answers questions directed at her Master FOR him. and then argues with him over which coffee cups to use for the coffee. This is a LITERAL example. I often times just find the Online Persona to be giant pile of Bullshit. Obviously not everyone does this but I do find that those who spend nearly all thier time online for have a greater tendency toward this behavior. This is NOT to say that the guys at the Munches don't put on a show there as well cause they do I have seen that a lot as well. For me however I try to carry myself and have my girl carry herself as we would anytime. Because of this there are times when people have commented on her demeanor and I always say, consistency is all I require. She is the same at home as she is here and that is good enough for me. I would rather have a girl who has an opinion and a mouth on her than a girl who pretends to be perfect in public and a pain in the ass at home. But that's just me. Steel

Poetryinpain -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 1:17:24 PM)
Steel, Thank you for that refreshing post. I know that the dichotomy you speak of exists in the vanilla world as well. Couples who appear one way in public appear very differently when one sees them in a relaxed and "private" situation. Not being in a relationship, I can't speak for how I would be online as opposed to in person. I would hope I would be consistent, because it's hard to keep up the pretense of being something I'm not. pip, I hate to lie; it's hard to remember what I said

lvlychaos -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 3:03:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: lvlychaos Honestly, I think its because when you find someone you submit to, you trust them not to go beyond what was agreed on or farther than you can handle.. Out in the big bad world, no ones going to stop if you say "red", they will not respect that vital trust. If that makes any sense at all, sorry I should stop posting with out sleep..lol OKay time to piss off some of the masses. I disagree with this statement. In Fact this is a comment that when stated in a Forum usually gets MANY agreeing answers but when the same comment is made in a MAsT Discussion gets a different responce. The Truth of the matter is in the Real world saying Red won't make someone stop but* in the BDSM world many subs allow thier Doms to do things that would never be accepted by someone who wasn't in the Kink world with them.* I know many subs who say while at munches there are "Friends" who they love when they come up run thier fingers into the back of thier hair and PULL. Now in the Vanilla world if a co-worker did this this would cause Instant issue. I find that the Kinky person in question simply gives up more Inhibitions with those they know to be Kinky than they do with those they know to be Vanilla. I know that I have seen it personally where a Girl in her Vanilla world will guard herself to the hilt but when at that Saturday Night Munch she carries herself like a Bar Wench allowing just about anyone to behave in a manner that would be inappropriate any other time. I think we have a mindset that people who are kinky are just going to be different and we allow that. Now YES there are MANY girls who also carry themselves with dignity and respect while at munches and don't allow men to touch them any other way than shaking thier hand. But ever pay attention to thier demeanor they still usually defer to those who are precieved to be in a Dominating position even if they aren't THIER Dom. Oddly enough I find the exact opposite online and on a few occasions learned the Online demeeanor to be BS. Meaning that I met them in thier home and the way they carried themselves online was just how people expected them to behave which was NOT the way they really did, but they were simply accepted better by putting up this front than by being the person that they were. I have come to learn that I do not always have the popular opinion but at least it is the same opinion no matter what unless I decide to change my mind but that is a whole different thread. *The point I am geting at is that Demeanor is judged by many I meet by thier surroundings.* For instance girls I meet at Munches and Play parties tend to have a higher Respect Protocol than they do at home or while out at dinner which is why I find it important that I always be ME and andi always be ANDI this way there is no confusion when we are seen anywhere else. So what you see is what you get with me, I do find it odd though that people feel the need to carry on a personna witrh people on these boards that they do not carry in real life. I find that behavior to be Hypocritical at best and serves no purpose but to make it even harder for someone to move from the Online world to the Real World and still be able to cope with Life on Lifes Terms. Just some thoughts Steel * Thats pretty much what I was going for... with what I wrote, is it not true that in any relationship there are boundries and a lot of times you either cross those and grow within it[the relationship], or it ends, and just because D/s is introduced, that should only deepen and enrich it. Thats not to say I want my co-worker running up and pulling my hair, but then agian I don't choose to kneel in front of them either. I know this probally wasn't aimed at me on a personal level, but I still felt I should say that just because you have had some less than stellar expirinces, please don't rush to say that is how everyone acts. I like to hope that I portray an accurate picture of who I am online as well as in my day-to-day life. Of course that said, I am willing to be more open on these boards about issues that in my everyday life are kept more personal and that aren't shared with everyone that can read. * I agree with this statement to a point, but probally not the way you intended. See in my home I would probally be a bit more relaxed (if you were there it was either by invitation, or I would not be relaxed and in the middle of a burgurlary...not inplying anything about anyone, I promise its not meant like that in anyway). Out in public probally a little more formal, but overall the same. Some people, however feel the need not to be themselves. That can either be a shame, or a blessing however you choose to view it... Those are just a few things I felt I should clarify and /or state my opinion.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:09:22 PM)
Here is my essay again on what objectification/humiliation means and does to me. My most common form of objectification is as a sex toy and a servant. Part of it is BECAUSE of my academic background, I'm very smart and very well educated. I think a LOT, I work a LOT, I am a control freak, I have moderate OCD, I am the social planner for my group of friends. Being an object means you don't have to think, you don't have to stress, you just have to BE that object. You are there, purely and passively, for service and use. There's no need for you to interpret anything, no need for you to react, only simply to BE there. That's a pretty awesome state of being for me. Another part, the shown off part, is because I am an exhibitionist, I get a huge charge out of people's energy when they enjoy looking and playing with me. They are giving ME lots of attention, they want to touch ME, they want to use ME for pleasure, I can provide them with a release, with a good time, a good memory. The sexual usage part is just part of my universal sex fantasy life- it's just hot to be used, hot to be a hole to go in, do your thing and get out. I don't really know much about that other than what I've already stated. I can't tell you why it gets me so deep any more than I can tell you why bondage does. Something most subs and slaves can understand- it takes away choice. You don't have to think, you don't get to say no, you are there to always say YES, an object, a trophy doesn't get to say stop or get to dictate how it is used. I am somewhat materialistic in that I like to use my money and gifts to show people I care for them. It's a physical thing I can give to show I've been thinking of them and want to add to their lives. While I understand they don't NEED those things, it's a very powerful idea to me. So, to BE the object itself, to be given to someone else, has a distinct personal flavor to it. You'll notice- all of these reasons are about ME, what I enjoy, what I get out of it. The Owner will pass me around and use me in ways I don't necessarily enjoy directly. He will send me to people I don't have an affinity for, partly because he KNOWS I don't have an affinity for them. So I don't necessarily always love it, with anyone, anywhere. There are definitely circumstances in which I really hate it. While I love attention, I am actually quite uncomfortable ASKING for attention, I am very uneasy when people actually look at me and say "Now, I'm going to give you all this attention, just for you, just to enjoy, and there's nothing you can do about it." Part of it is because not too many people are actually really GOOD at giving me happy pleasure, part of it is that I've trained myself to adapt and become what the OTHER person needs for that session, which, if it's a good match, will also be what I need. And part of it is just my innate shyness and discomfort with being a focal point of attention. I don't know what to do with it, I feel very exposed. Perhaps a paradox for someone who LOVES being exposed, but that's why I call humiliation a "burning." So, the humiliation and objectification is a keen way for me to receive attention, which I love, while being passive about asking for it and simply being a pretty little butterfly that people are attracted to, rather than dealing with the harder ordeal for me of directly asking and directly being told to sit back and enjoy. http://www.collarchat.com/m_557686/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#557707 Embarassment vs humiliation http://www.collarchat.com/m_354018/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#354196 humiliation??? http://www.collarchat.com/m_412944/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#413037 what is good humiliation to you? http://www.collarchat.com/m_426015/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#426025 humiliation vs degradation http://www.collarchat.com/m_489256/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#489324 humiliation and vulnerability http://www.collarchat.com/m_310209/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#310223 Humiliation- verbal and physical http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532 humiliation ideas Slaves on display via webcam? Fat Cow? Verbal humiliation (rehashed) Humiliation and Degradation Erotic Humiliation Female Humiliation- in the scene Asking for humiliation Favorite Forms of humiliation Humiliation Humliation Play Favorite forms of humiliation Erotic Humiliation and Objectification Why such problems with humiliation? Fun ideas for humiliation Humiliation (2) Verbal Humiliation Help with humiliation please! Your thoughts on humiliation please Questions about humiliation

whenstarscollide -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/15/2008 4:11:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Monkeyontuesday And music is my aeroplane. Red Hot Chili Peppers, anyone? ;-) Anyway, I just got to thinking... I am into humiliation and degradation. I enjoy it. But what about my psyche enjoys abuse? I wait tables to keep my lights on, so surely I get more than enough of it at work, much less in something as pleasurable as sex. So, other subs who are into this (or just have thoughts on the matter in general), what is it about it that you enjoy? What nerve does it strike with you? forgive me if i am not clear and succinct - i am still working out my own thoughts and ideas about this topic in my head... i have mixed feelings about humiliation and degradation: on the one hand, i think that, when properly applied, humiliation can be an effective tool. there are a lot of social and moral stigmas surrounding sex in general. you can't do this or that isn't considered appropriate and whatnot - there are so many expectations put on you from the outside world. it can be severely limiting. humiliation, degradation, and verbal abuse can help free a sub's mind from those constraints put on them by society. allow them to open up and be more sexually expressive. on the other hand, humiliation - just like pain - can be taken a step too far. everyone had there limits. a Dom is expected to push those limits, but at the same time, not subject you to anything that your psyche ultimately cant handle. also, there are certain subjects and words that are triggers for certain people - you have to be careful not to step over that line. moreover, you need to know WHERE that line it! that's where love and trust and honesty and taking the time to get to know each other comes in.

ksdom2k5 -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/16/2008 9:36:22 AM)
I just wanted to address what two people on here had to say. SteelofUtah I think that you are making on overgeneralization of the entire population based on a small sample of people, which is a dangerous logical fallacy. I'm also uncertain what the problem in the situation is (I wasn't there so I can't speak with certainty on this and this is my pre-empt of that) as I think it's natural for people to act differently when they meet in person for the first time. If a person speaks about how they want a fully dominant man to control them in all instances, the fact that the first time they meet you that they want to have a conversation over a cup of coffee, does not mean then mean that they don't still have the same desires they just have the normal human impulse to get to know someone better in person before accepting that world that they want. I also wanted to quickly touch on Whenstarscollide's point and I think that this is part of the appeal of humiliation in that it allows people to do things that society has long stigmatized. Although I think your point is a larger one about part of the appeal of the general lifestyle as it all flys in the face of "conventional" wisdom about how sex and relationships are supposed to be. Maybe the idea of humiliation is a way to separate oneself even moreso from normal thoughts than some of the other aspects which are beginning to seem too normal for them. I don't know it's an interesting idea, I don't have more time to write about it now, but I just wanted to drop my two cents.

SteelofUtah -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/16/2008 10:19:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ksdom2k5 I just wanted to address what two people on here had to say. SteelofUtah I think that you are making on overgeneralization of the entire population based on a small sample of people, which is a dangerous logical fallacy. I'm also uncertain what the problem in the situation is (I wasn't there so I can't speak with certainty on this and this is my pre-empt of that) as I think it's natural for people to act differently when they meet in person for the first time. If a person speaks about how they want a fully dominant man to control them in all instances, the fact that the first time they meet you that they want to have a conversation over a cup of coffee, does not mean then mean that they don't still have the same desires they just have the normal human impulse to get to know someone better in person before accepting that world that they want. Please do me a favor and re-read my Posts and make a Point to read that I use Many, Few, Most and Some a LOT, ths is because obviously nothing is done by everyone all the time. I try not to speak in exacts. The point of the post was to address the comment about what a sub allows thier dom to do and in general there is often MUCH more going on behind the scenes. I am far from diserning how something is because everytime I get an Idea someone comes along and does it differently. I do see Trends. And if you can deny the Trend that people present themselves as being some way on the internet that they are NOT in real life I will only question if you are paying attention. I have noticed in the Real World as well as the online world MANY not all but MANY people want to be seen as some sort of image persona. They carry themselves in a certain why while interacting with other kinky people that they do not maintain when they are not around kinky people. I have seen trends that say some people literally want something they have never really experinced because they THINK they will enjoy it as much as they enjoy the fantasy. Trends like these are universal however they are only the Mode they are not the Rule as when it comes to BDSM there are very few rules that apply to the Whole. Just wanted to clearify ,my side of this. Steel

mypain56 -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/17/2008 8:10:21 AM)
You are so right on the vanilla VS. bdsm world of trust, respect. Over the years i have made an attempt @ trusting and respecting the vanila folks in my life and it's always gotten me hurt. Physically and emotionally, actually i have been in therapy for 20 years because of it. In the vanilla world i have been in non-consensual relationships that i was a doormat,cunt, punching bag, human tiolet bowl. i hated it being degradated and humilated everyday by some sick fuck that got his rocks off by doing this to me 5 years of it. He was a monster and not a man. I thought i could trust him with my life but time and time again he proved otherwise. He put myself and my child in a couple of very serious situations that my Son and myself could of very easily lost our lives.Did he care and love me enough to protect me NO he did not because he was a coward. And i was held accountable for his nafarious actions. In the end i was humiliated and degradated by someone with a 45 caliber to my head. As he just sat there not opening his mouth to help me or my son. This is one of the scenarios he has left with me emotionally leaving me with post traumic stress syndrome. This the vanilla world that i was born into. With that said i have many trust issues with him and my family that hasn't help my mental stability either. So why didn't i walk away wellt hat is a good question, because 1. back in the early 80's you stayed and faced the problems 2. he always found me when i did leave i was forced to return with a gun to my head (literally) was calling the police an option NO it wasn't since his family was a promonanat figure in the community did his family listen to me NO... With that said, when it was finally over i was left an empty shell with no self-esteem, or worth. And as he left he said he couldn't take my bitching anymore. DUH??? in any event why is it that i find trusting people in this world so much easier well it's hard i cantell you that but the dynamics are totally different. The people that i am involved with in my social group (munch) are upfront,honest,respectful members of the bdsm community and we all look out for one another we have established a trusting and respectful relationship between people of the same mindset. They would never hurt me. Being a submissive the Master's and Dominants in the group are very protective even if you are not there's. I would not hesitate to invite any of them to my home because of what they have proven to me (trust and total respect) and acceptance of who i am. I am in a potential D/s involvement we are taking it slowly, although i am moving more local to Him not just for Him but because of the opportunities of the city. He's a bonus!!! And believe it or not i trust Him with life He would never bring harm to me mentally,emotionally or phyiscally. And he has proven to me to be trustworthy. He has the utmost respect for me. It has taken quite some time and many months on end to establish this between us but the rewards has turn out to be worth it. But yes to conclude this people are not as they seem for the most part, they are not real, especially on a website such as this but i found my Dominant on Collarme.com and i haven't regretted. Because He is real. although there are those exceptions when you hear of someone doing something totally insane example: submissive meets?? a Dominant on a website they talk for awhile?? don't know how long, but he sens her 200.00 to come and visit now she lives Southeast in the USA and he lives in Texas she goes sight unseen no safe call, no nothing just putting herself out there to be killed or whatever while she is there she plays with him on first meet ( big NO) thenwhile she is getting her ass beat she is talking to another Dominant on the phone and laughing about the whole scenario. Now whether is true or not one will never know considering the source and she bragged about it.... Bad very bad???? Any way my point was would you trust somebody sight unseen drive all that way, no matter what kind of masochist you precieve yourself to be this is insane on both their parts, inviting someone into your home the should be reveled as sacred turf (NOT) i hope some of the newer submissives out there can gain knowledge from these scenarios guard your self, trust your instincts and don't play with someone that you haven't established any trust or respect with because your life is only in your hands. And i do get an abundance of pleasure with my pain my being a total masochist but i am not stupid about it. It takes months before i meet with them and then months before i play.... Believe me putting yourself out there is not worth your life..... PSS. i am sorry for the ramblings here, i suppose i got off the beaten trail............................................... melly

IvyMorgan -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/17/2008 2:35:19 PM)
Humiliation, for me, just lets me let go. I hate what's happening to me. I hate that I need it. I hate that I crave it, that I beg for it, that I get off on it. But at the same time, I want it. To some extent, when I'm in that moment, I'm able to slip out of myself while still being there, and I like that feeling too. I really don't know, like I said, I hate it, I'm aware of hating it, and of hating me for wanting it. Perhaps I'm learning not to hate myself and what I want, just for being me and wanting it, because it's alright that I do. I'll shut up now.

DesFIP -> RE: I Like My Pleasure Spiked With Pain (4/17/2008 4:45:03 PM)
I don't know Steel. Just because you see their dynamic as her ignoring him, arguing with him etc doesn't mean he isn't still total master of the house. He isn't going to explain to you that he enjoys seeing her animated in conversation, that he enjoys the debate etc. Their dynamic may be the same as yours underneath but appear differently because you can't view it through his eyes. Hell, she may have orders to argue with him when she believes he's wrong. I do. He knows he isn't perfect and this is a back up system to prevent mistakes. Being an engineer, that's his style. My point however is that I'm a lot more easy going and less abrasive at home than I am here. My persona here is this way because I have learned that unless you are blunt with words, people ignore what you're saying. No doubt due to the fact that this is a text only medium with no intonations, body language etc to add content.

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