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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 4:51:30 PM

GreedyTop

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beautifully said, pip! *hugs*

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:08:32 PM

ANTONIST

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if you need protection, better hire a bodyguard...

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:18:32 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
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Doms protect innocent submissives from horny trainers. Trainers protect innocent submissives from horny dominants.

Understand?

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:24:01 PM

TaoInDominance

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/4/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

I've searched the site and found many places where protection is discussed but never quite to my satisfaction.

I'm constantly barraged with emails from Dom's driven to protect me and for the life of me I can't figure out what they are protecting me from that I can't already protect myself from.

Are we under attack?
Have aliens landed?

I know I'm coming off as sarcastic but I'm seriously confused, in this day and age if a woman can't protect herself there probably isn't much chance someone else can.

LOL ...this is one of my pet peeves....particularly in "long distance protection" whre the girl/boy is seeing others. Sure youcan be a safe call but how are you going to protect the nice dollie in San Diego from the UK or New York? No better than a nice sub friend I would guess.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:32:23 PM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven
My problem with the practice is that its an awful lot of stress to put on another person.

So, adding to that "protect me too" it just seems unfair. That and I have a pretty mean, 2 year old, temper tantrum, independant streak going on...its nothing for me to cross my arms, stomp my foot and yell "I can do it by myself!"

And last but not least there's that small part of me that right now loathes the thought of having to rely on someone else. If I can't count on myself for mental/physical/emotional well being then I'm pretty fucked.

I wish you the very best
Haven

Haven,
Thanks for Your reply...i'm sorry people have taken Your topic so off track. i do understand where You are coming from. And frankly, i used to believe that way as well... Part of what a very good friend taught me was that i don't get to decide how much to let a person in to my life.... Don't get me wrong, it's not the same as boundaries.... Here's the deal: in the past i would only let people in so much, thinking that i was saving them from stress, drama, chaos, whatever...In reality, i was denying them an opportunity to make the decision for themselves how much they would be a part of my life. i don't know if i'm explaining this well or not...
Here's what i know to be true for me, after the rape and all that shit last summer i was at times suicidal. i didn't think it was fair to anyone to tell them this. My good friend, who lives across that damend pond, informed me that this wasn't something i was going to go through alone.. My first response to this was.........well.........less than polite...In fact, it was pretty freaking hateful.. But, Ya know what? He loved me until i could love myself!!
i will tell You that there was this one time when this JAMFing "dom" was trying to coerce me into agreeing to do things for or with Him, and He became pretty abusive emotionally and stalkerish...All i had to do was mention some of the things He was saying to me and that person disappeared from my life forever....
And lastly, i understand about if You can't do these things for Yourself than You are fucked...And frankly the position i was in i was fucked beyond belief...i think i'm just fortunate enough to have a wonderful and supportive group of friends who love me unconditionally...
Kali

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:34:16 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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*hugs* Kali

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:38:00 PM

Kalista07

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Thanks Greedy....Love the picture btw...You look damn hot!!!

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 5:39:32 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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thanks! Darcyandthedark are brilliant withtheir cameras :)

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 7:10:14 PM

HornyToadsMI

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i think it would be from myself........as i am a bit of a SAM.....lol.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 7:55:49 PM

ResidentSadist

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<--- issuing free invisible collars of protection. Just click heels 3 times and wish for one.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 7:56:51 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

I've searched the site and found many places where protection is discussed but never quite to my satisfaction.

I'm constantly barraged with emails from Dom's driven to protect me and for the life of me I can't figure out what they are protecting me from that I can't already protect myself from.

Are we under attack?
Have aliens landed?

Yes.

Obviously you weren't informed.

Barraging is a clear attempt to assuage you from your "apparent" knowledge of the facts.

Yes, we are under attack.

(I'm on from 7:45 Pacific to 3:30 eastern).

Feel free.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 7:59:32 PM

Leatherist

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I think they really are feeling the need to "protect" subs.......from all the other doms out there.

After all, none of THEM are good enough.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/17/2008 8:01:06 PM

mzbehavin

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What exactly are Dom's protecting us from?

Ourselves....

clicks heels 3 times n grins*

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 4:03:13 AM

LilMissHaven

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I think it sad that such helpful insights from both the dominant and submissive community here has been lost in a barrage of drama that should have been carried out via the email system.

I'm going to spend the next few days sorting thru the posts, nix'ing the drama and smart ass posts (mine included) putting all the helpful information in one place.

I want to thank you all for your assistance

Haven

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 5:27:11 AM

bipolarber

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Doms protect subs from:

Spiders in the bathtub.
Stray dogs.
High interest rates on credit cards
the annoyance of door to door salesmen
that drunk who keeps bothering you at the play party
condom use (as in, "always use protection")

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 2:19:37 PM

LilMissHaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Doms protect subs from:

High interest rates on credit cards
the annoyance of door to door salesmen

I don't worry about high interest rates I just use his card. (couldn't resist, sorry)

How true is that last statement? I once told a vacuum salesman that if I bought one more thing without my boyfriends permmission he'd beat me. *laugh* I'm bad I know.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 2:27:00 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
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I haven't read all the posts, but it seems that something had been overlooked.

Much of WIITWD is pretty dangerous, if done wrong. What I offer My submissive is assurance that I will do My best to protect her at all times We are playing together, from the various injuries, etc., that could occur under the wrong circumstances.

I promise to: never mix BDSM with alcohol (or other mind-altering substances); never to attempt something beyond My capabilities or understanding'; respect safewords at all times; to pay close attention to what I'm doing, including her reactions to same; continually learn all I can--from books and from others active in the lifestyle--about procedures and equipment and human physiology, etc.

Basically, I promise to engage in all sorts of risky/potentially dangerous behaviours with her, yet protect her from harm to the best of My ability.

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 2:50:38 PM

FRSguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

I went to a large party under the "protection" of a dominant once. It basically meant, "Oh, sweet little naive submissive, come to me and let me protect you from other nasty, mean dominants who only want to use you. In the meantime I want to use you for exactly the purposes I'm 'protecting' you from and wave you around like a trophy."

I know that's not what it means to everyone, but that's what it meant in that situation.

Um... based on your photo I can totaly understand why a guy would want to make that happen...LOL

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 3:42:35 PM

Hauptmann

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Joined: 1/30/2008
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this is actually a very cool post.

If a master cannot succour, contain, entertain and let grow his charge he is just a perv and not a true dom. Women like to lose control sometimes. Men like to take it. sounds like a happy relationship if you can get all the rubbish out of the way :)

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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/21/2008 10:33:55 PM

UncleNasty

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I expect this is a bit out of the intended context, but....

To state it plainly I can't imagine being connected to another in the deepest of ways without a very strong desire to protect them, and at times being quite active in that pursuit. I want the people I love to be without harm and anything I can do to make that happen I will. I also want them to protect me with as much dedication and vigor as possible.

I don't think I've met anyone that truely did not need some form of protection, advise, counsel at some point in their lives - usually many points. Sometimes it is of great import, other times rather common and simple.

Uncle Nasty

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