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Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 7:38:28 AM

MissDs

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline

We are new here and perhaps this subject has been discussed many times. But, how do you explain the sudden appearance of a 3rd person to long standing friends and family? They are open-minded, but perhaps not that open-minded.

Browsing through profiles, we see a few examples of 3-sums. How does that work?

Miss D

Post #: 1

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 7:42:40 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

To people who know me well.. a third is never a surprise... infact not to my family either... I don't get into great detail, I just say.. oh you know me, I always need to have two...

seems to go fine.. beyond that, its no one's business... I do not feel a need to explain to anyone... should they ask.. I smile and say.. "its exactly what you're thinking" and walk away...

(in reply to MissDs)

Post #: 2

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 8:15:02 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

"its exactly what you're thinking"

Gotta love ya!!! Does this remind you of anything, Madame?? LOL

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 3

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 8:52:10 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

HIDE ME!!!

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 4

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 9:30:46 AM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

You could always say they're just a friend. Even if they're living with you, it's not unreasonable to think that you could just be helping a friend out by offering them a place to stay indefinitely.

Have you checked out the Polyamorous Lifestyles forums as well? A lot of folks post between one forum and another so you're not necessarily missing out on any advice, but there's tons of great threads over there that can also be of help in other situations with a more-than-one kind of relationship.

By the way, MissDs, has anyone ever told you you kind of look like Tori Amos? That's cool!

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to MissDs)

Post #: 5

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 9:44:21 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

guess who's coming to dinner?

_____________________________

The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MissDs)

Post #: 6

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 9:46:35 AM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

Among friends and associates we keep no secrets. Those that are an active part of my life as friends know that I am poly.
Certain family members know that I HATE being alone and that we more often than not have roommates that I am very close to. But occassionally I get a nosey judgemental question which I usually answer the same "She lives with us and I beat her when I'm bored." Its usually interpreted as sarcasm and dismissed. Once, I got in response "Really? does she like it?" That one suprised me considering it came from my uncle. LOL

However, I have this nasty habit of not giving a darn what other's think of me. If you are worried about blow back, then just refer to the person as a roommate or a good friend who needed a place to stay. For those that keep pushing, a very firm "why do you need to know" should suffice.

Good luck to you

Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 7

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 10:05:47 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

well.. yes, it does.. but then again, I see those two little yellow babes could actually be us... *wink*

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 8

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 10:08:52 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

To people who know me well.. a third is never a surprise... infact not to my family either... I don't get into great detail, I just say.. oh you know me, I always need to have two...

seems to go fine.. beyond that, its no one's business... I do not feel a need to explain to anyone... should they ask.. I smile and say.. "its exactly what you're thinking" and walk away...

Very similar to us. I just introduce Fox as part of my family to folks who aren't close to us; those who are close enough, vanilla or not, know he is my slave. Honestly most people don't want a lot of details and those that do you can write off as rude and pushy.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 9

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 11:28:58 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

I see those two little yellow babes could actually be us... *wink*

That's what I was thinking!! LOL *cheers*

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 10

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 12:31:46 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

well.. yes, it does.. but then again, I see those two little yellow babes could actually be us... *wink*

sorry but they are me and Pyrrsefanie cause her partners far away so we get to play.

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 11

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 3:04:24 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl
sorry but they are me and Pyrrsefanie cause her partners far away so we get to play.

WOOHOO, I WIN THE INTARNET!

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 12

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 5:19:52 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Unless I'm mistaken, there is a discussion or two on the poly board about this. I'm not good with providing links like LA is, so I'm afraid you'll have to use the search function on your own.

The question is an easy one for Me. I'm out (for lack of a better term) about My lifestyle. If I go somewhere in a vanilla setting, both My husband and My sub come with Me. When I'm asked who My sub is, I usually return with the standard question. "Do you really want to know?" If they say yes, I tell them.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 13

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/16/2008 8:00:56 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

LP, you are a bold, bold woman. I wish I could see the jaws drop over dinner as you casually explain the sub. Priceless, really. Thanks for letting me cherish that mental image.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/17/2008 2:44:30 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

This is my second post tonight in reference to thirds... Or maybe my third?

My advice is simple.

1) Some people get jealous, some people get horny.
2) If you can't talk about it openly, don't do it. Hiding jealousy only makes for bad mojo.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 15

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/17/2008 9:58:41 AM

Sylverdawn

Posts: 1123
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

If she lives in like she does with us.. and for professional reasons.. outside the lifestyle she .. We refer to her as OUR housemate. Boys come and go so they are simply friends.

_____________________________

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elyane Boosler

Being a women is hard work Maya Angelou

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Post #: 16

RE: Adding a 3rd? - 4/17/2008 5:13:12 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: midgetmafiosa

LP, you are a bold, bold woman. I wish I could see the jaws drop over dinner as you casually explain the sub. Priceless, really. Thanks for letting me cherish that mental image.

Thank you, but it isn't quite as daring as one might think. Still, since you enjoyed it so much, I thought I'd let you know a little more.

It's usually over dinner only with immediate family. They are pretty much used to it now. I'm very selective with who is actually permitted to make it to the front doorstep. Only collared submissives, serious prospects, or trusted play partners have ever seen the inside of My home.

Other places I've introduced a new sub have been company picnics, bar-b-ques, bowling night, weddings, and I can't remember what else. For most folks who know Me, it isn't a surprise.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 17

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