Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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I was reading a post about going to Walmart ane one poster said somethng to the effect that she rarely goes out except to a friend's house or for necessities. I realized at that point that I am like that.
Now let me say that I am not agoraphobic in any way, nor am I shy. I'll do Karaoke, I have no problem with public speaking and I'll strike up a conversation with almost anyone who can hold my interest. One buddy of mine loves for me to go to the bar with him because I'll walk right up to the most drop dead gorgeous chick in the place. I am not impressed nor intimidated by looks.
I have no fear of the crowd at all, but in the last several years I have found going to crowded public places is not something I like.
With me I think a new experience would get me to go, like when I went to the Grid-n-Orbit for a fetish party. I wouldn't mind attending a munch. Something different.
Just going to the bar just doesn't get it for me. I don't want to pay to clamor for a seat, to get served, and have to go outside to smoke. I'm no good at shooting pool anymore. I prefer a smoke filled room with a poker game going on.
You can't play any real poker game with more than seven people. Even the annual Christmas party is limited to ten people. You can actually have a conversation. But I have found that even with five people in a room the discussion gets split. Not that there is anything inherently bad about that, but with more people there are more discussions and only for a part of the time is there a larger discussion.
This is human nature I guess, and that is why we see what happens to some threads on CM. Two people often bandy back and forth about one of the finer (or minor) points of the topic and it sometimes all goes to hell.
I think with me it is not so much the number of people present, but their demeanor.
An example of that happened last weekend. Two biker friends stopped over and they were loud, obnoxious and half drunk. I don't care about the drunk part. The problem was that I introduced these two about a year ago and they have been out riding and all, and with the friendship being relatively new they have alot to talk about. I understand this and at first all I did was to tell them to lower their voices.
A bit later it became "You're outta here". I didn't say don't come back, nothing of the sort, but if all you want to do is talk to each other and do it so loudly that you drown out everything else in the room, why did you come here ?
I would've gone with a few more warnings but B, who I've known about 2-3 years said that I have some kind of problem, I told him that no, he had the problem, he's outta here. And so was R who I've known for 30 years. They had a symbiotic relationship seemingly for the express purpose of being as loud as possible and letting others know how interesting their lives are. They succeeded at the former, but failed miserably at the latter.
Of course these are bikers so I do have a secret weapon. I could just play some of the corniest music at maximum volume. See when I was downloading I wanted everything, so I could find some Archies or something. But I would just rather say what I mean.
However, R is on drugs, most likely an SSRI. He says to me "You should get these pills I got, they don't make you up or down they just make you......" He kinda trailed off there. He has known me for 30 fucking years and tells me something like that ? ME ?
Something is no longer right with him. I don't know how to put it, drugs and I do not get along all that well. There are occasions I'll do some, but of course not pills. But I know exactly what they will do to me, and for how long. I know that I am not quite me at the time. And if the effect is not what I expected I am very suspect. I amnot going to let them concoct some super complex thing in their labouratories* and take it, especially when they can't even tell me exactly what it would do to me. He should have known this. Something is not right.
It is not a phobia, it is an intolerance. I do not tolerate mindless nonsense. I've known J for about 6 years, and every once in a while he forgets, and asks if I have seen a certain TV show.
My mechanic and friend M has been thrown out of here. Shows up walking, the tie rod fell off his truck. Well the usual, where is the truck all that. Since I am sort of a bank, especially for people who do me favors I asked him "Well how much is the part, you know you can put it on right there, align it later". His reply was that the new tie rod was under the seat and had been for months. I mean I was actually picking up the phone and about to call the parts store, so I knew it was the right side. That earned him an ejection. I told him straight out "I DID NOT SAY not to come back".
The stupidity of having a safety critical part wired on with a coathanger was too much. I explained next time " It's the right side, you drive on sidestreets all the time, I don't care how fucking insured you are if that thing breaks the truck goes to the right. You could kill people".
So itis not intolerance of people, it is intolerance of something else.
Comment if you wish, but perhaps someone knows the word for this. I like to be home. I go out, but again, usually to friends houses, not a bar or something like that.
Is there a word for this ?
T
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What's the opposite of "philia", not phobia ? - 
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