RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl?

RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (Full Version)

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Dnomyar -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 9:54:57 AM)
kittinSol rail about how good looking I am. I agree with being polite, honest and respectful. Pay attention to the no begging thing. Im an expert at that and it never worked for me. I beg them to go away and they just keep comming back. If your like me learn to duck. They keep throwing things at me.

khem -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 10:05:41 AM)
I'm just waiting for Stephann to show up with his link...[:D]

charlotteS -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 10:11:55 AM)
oops. Need to make sure I'm in the right account!

Stephann -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 10:13:48 AM)
~Le Sigh. Dude, read the link on my signature. The twenty minutes you invest in reading it, will save you many hours of frustration. Stephan

thetammyjo -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 10:28:47 AM)
When one's approach is not getting results then the only logical thing to do is to change one's approach. That doesn't mean to change the wording of a profile but to change the entire approach. Do you go to munches or SM organization meetings? If not, start finding some. Do you participate in forums? If not, start participating and not simply by asking questions -- share experiences, offer your polite and honest opinion, etc.

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 10:59:57 AM)
the best way is as always....by offering them lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ even i would become a Dominant for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ money money money..... gimme gimme that money.......... in a Dominant womans world!

khem -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:03:46 AM)
And don't listen to faery [:D]

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:04:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: khem And don't listen to faery [:D] awww..i just need a few hundred to go on vacation to the usa and meet the few of you that are not scared of me...muahahaha...

sirenandmuse -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:04:59 AM)
cash cash cash cash cash landlords don't accept gifts conED doesn't care if you throw yourself at their feet cash money

MstrssScarlet -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:22:01 AM)
Offer her something besides "you can do (insert fetish) to me..." Otherwise, be prepared to pay a pro domme. Mistress Scarlet

MstrssScarlet -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:43:14 AM)
I just took a look at your profile. Looks like you took everyone's suggestion about the word "girl" because all I see mentioned is "woman". Good choice. Everything else looks pretty good, especially the pic. [;)] Mistress Scarlet

MistressNoName -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 11:43:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jay737 Hi first I’d like to thank you for you interest and reading this. I’m here to seek some advice all comments will be very much appreciated. I like the thought of being dominated by a girl. I have had these desires even before I really knew what I wanted in a relationship. I know I am submissive but I don’t know to what extent. I am so new to this and it feels somewhat scary but yet exiting. I have had a profile on this site for a wile now with no success. Maybe I’m just not up to scratch with drawing the attention of a dominant girl. May be you could take a look at my profile and give me some tips on what’s good about it and what’s not. Is there any other way to explore this desire? Maybe I’m just taking the wrong approach? I look forward to you replies Jay I think most of the WOMEN who've responded have pretty much covered it. Frankly, it all depends upon what kind of attention you're seeking. If you are seeking to start off an association with a WOMAN on an antagonistic note, continue to refer to women as "girls." Many vanilla women find it offensive, but if you're seeking negative attention, that's a great way to start. I mean, hey, some people dig antagonistic play...it's their kink. But many women do not. If you'd like a more positive response from the onset, then, conduct yourself as though you have a modicum of sense, be polite, but don't grovel, read profiles thoroughly, respond to those with whom you have some shared interest and be respectful of any stated preferences. And while I agree that you are very attractive, don't expect your good looks alone to be able to ride the wave of a real D/s relationship. Have something real to offer and be clear about who you really are and what you really want and are ready for...or else, just find yourself a nice, kinky vanilla girl. Best, MNN

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 1:10:33 PM)
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun.

hopelesslyInvo -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 2:34:34 PM)
i think the profile is too short, it's something you'd see in a personals ad where you're pressed for space with only so many lines. you got room to write whatever you want and it's the same decently priced amount of free. try to elaborate without going on a tangent, give examples of something, your romantic tendencies even. otherwise, "girls"... i use that word too, i like that word even, but i get nailed to a cross half the time i use it too. in one of my work presentations i described my piece as being girly and got grilled for it, femininininy, femaley, womeny, and ladylikey didn't have the right feel for what i was expressing, girly did. adverse to that point though, is i think "woman" is the word with the right feel in this situation. frankly though, i don't see how girl or boy is seen as offensive unless there's some connotation to imply it. yet some will like one word and hate another just as some like and hate mistress, goddess, and especially ma'am. if someone said to me "be quiet boy" my piss would come to a boil in many cases, but if someone called me their boyfriend rather than "some guy i'm seeing" that'd be just fine and dandy with me, or maybe someone said i had boyish good looks or charm, i'd be more than happy to hear that too lol. also, not just in how they feel about words, but i feel different too, like i'm fine with saying something like "there were a ton of girls out last night", but i feel like some sleazy creep saying "yeah, lots of fine ladies around yesterday" or even a little weird or too "male" by saying "you shoulda seen all the women", but i think my case might be in the plural usage but singular fits pretty well too. i might ask my friend who this new girl is he's seeing, or when people pry and ask who i just got off the phone with i might blush a little and sarcastically say "oh just some girl~" rather than the awkward "i was talking to a woman", though lets touch on another reason i think this is. as far as matchups go, we got... male female boys girls men women gentlemen ladies guys and... what? girls again, i'm thinking girls, you're thinking gals maybe? i believe girls fits here, but even if it was gals, who wouldn't feel like a giant baffoon to actually use the word gal in a sentence? that's sort of where i think it fits into things, that girls isn't just a match to boys but also guys. aside from that, i really think it's about the feel of the word, words have a ring to them. so watch this boys and girls, it's semantics time. she is a sweet girl. she is a strong woman. she is a kind woman. she is a sweet woman. she is a strong girl. she is a kind girl. it's like bloody night and day! first set seems to talk about a nice and perhaps innocent woman (with maybe even a hint of attraction), a woman who is probably largely independent, and then someone who you just happen to be acquainted with and has always been as good as can be. second set changes dramatically, not only does it not "sound right", some almost seem condescending or have a feel to them similar to an oxymoron, or suggest referring to the age or maturity level. sweet woman sounds like the crone feeding the brigade of pigeons, strong girl sounds like the 9 year old who plays tag with the boys, and kind girl just makes me think of some unpopular teenager in highschool or something. dominant girl. controlling girl. sadistic girl. compassionate girl. seductive girl. dominant woman. controlling woman. sadistic woman. compassionate woman. seductive woman. sure it's just wordplay, but even if they weren't offended by it, woman fits these better in every way you can really think of, it sounds right, it feels right, it's not officially right, but it's probably the best way to write. kind souls go to heaven. sweet souls sounds like it must be a comfortable shoe liner or something. i suppose the nice thing is that the english language has so many different means of expression and feelings, as opposed to other languages that have one word to cover 10 vague definitions to the degree it sounds cryptic or emotionless. but this amount of expressive leeway can lead to miscommunication or cause people to appreciate one word more than another, the same way people have favorite colors and lucky numbers. by the way, this is the sort of tangent i'd avoid in your profile. ^_^ thanks for reading guys and gals... man... that word doesn't even look right, i just keep thinking of bladders, birdies, and stones everytime i see it.

MistressNoName -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 4:42:49 PM)
quote: frankly though, i don't see how girl or boy is seen as offensive unless there's some connotation to imply it The connotation is a sexist one...which is why many women, esp many dominant women, find it offensive. The historical implication being that it's alright to effectively "young-down" a woman...the resulting effect was the perpetuation of the idea that women do not have the right to full adult status, and needn't be taken seriously, no matter what their age. It's important to remember that it was only during the latter part of the last century that women began to "come into their own," as it were, vis-a-vis equal rights, treatment and protection under the law...and in my opinion, we still have far to go, especially in terms of changing attitudes and addressing issues such as this one - which end up, all too often, being minimized and otherwise disregarded. MNN

hopelesslyInvo -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 4:56:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressNoName quote: frankly though, i don't see how girl or boy is seen as offensive unless there's some connotation to imply it The connotation is a sexist one... there is no connotation in just the word "girl" or "boy", it is denotation, it is literal. it would need to be something like "little girl", "silly boy", or put into a different context where it would actually be of a degrading nature to be insulting, the word girl itself is no low blow to the female gender. when someone has a preference as to how they are referred it's within all reason and logic to adhere to it. but when a majority has a preference, especially when trying to appeal to that majority, more so it then comes down to intelligence.

domiguy -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 5:03:20 PM)
I have often utilized the wallet attached to a fishing line trick....Lightly "flip" a wallet out into known domme feeding areas...Wendy's, White Castle or Old Country Buffet are some of the known haunts of the wily and ever elusive domme. Once one picks up the scent of the leather and money she will pursue her quarry with a reckless abandon. Be sure to be using a very heavy test line and a stout rod. Once the domme is "hooked up" or in pursuit of the wallet....Lead her towards the open manhole....She will fail to notice that you have removed the cover.... and Voila!!!! You have now got your domme..... No manholes were harmed in the making of this post....by the way, my manholes are breathtaking.

SweetDommes -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 5:40:52 PM)
The fun part of connotations, Invo, is that each person can have a different one. It's the emotional reaction, the personal meaning that a person associates with a word. Therefore, you can't tell someone else that there is no connotation to a word - if they have it, they have it ... it doesn't matter what the denotation of a word is, it can, indeed, have multiple connotations.

RumpusParable -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 6:49:39 PM)
Referring only to HopelesslyInvo's post and not the rest of the discussion, the comments on their being no negative connotation to the word "girl" (or "boy") for that matter is completely incorrect. If you're not familiar with the connotative meanings of these terms, then say that. You're wrong in their not having negative connotations in themselves. The response of many females here to the use of "girl" clearly indicates a commonly acknowledged connotation to the word. Or, try referring to black men freely with the term "boy" when you speak to/of them and see how well that goes down, often, if you think that term has no negative connotations in itself. Or just read the boards here and mingle in the BDSM community in general and notice how many male submissives refer to themselves as "boys", rather than men (or the misused term "boi"), and you will see that the word has distinct WIITWD and vanilla understood meanings/implications. Same for "girl", just a 10 minute glance around or discussion will give you ample examples of an understood and commonly used connotative meaning for the word in BDSM and vanilla usage. Or... Honestly, if you feel a word needs to have a negative or diminuitive adjective applied to it to create a negative connotation (or any connotation for that matter) as you used in example in your post, then you may need to check the denotation of the word "connotation". The social climate for the use to be connotative is already set, as with the use of "boy" towards an A-A male... but I'm gathering from your last post that you're pretending the historical and present social conditions related to females, especially those of adult age, don't exist. Personally, now addressing the rest of the thread's discussion on it, I didn't gather that the OP meant to use the word's negative or submissive meanings when referring to dominant females. However, given that he was asking for input on how he might better his chances in finding a dominant female for his partner it makes perfect sense that others would warn him to the possibility of his chosen words causing a misunderstanding or poor reaction in some women, thereby giving him the option of removing a potentially limiting factor if he felt it worthwhile.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: What is the best way of getting the attention of a dominant girl? (4/17/2008 7:01:39 PM)
ASide from being on the bandwagon with the others who are telling you to figure out how to speak to a dominant before you get someones attention, you also need to be clear on what you offer. Why would you be more interesting than anyone else out there? What do you bring to the table that a hundred others do not? There is nothing across the board that would interest every one of us as a Dominant Woman. But, putting out what you do offer would pique the interest of someone looking for that particularly, which would lead to the best fit. DV

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