Letting him go

Letting him go (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

sambamanslilgirl -> Letting him go (4/17/2008 6:40:18 AM)
hello to all i should have done a search on this subject (thanks beforehand to LA and her "easy" button of links) but i'm seeking personal thoughts/experiences. i just released one of my pets this week however it's not the pet "disappearing" on me, i'm leaving him for reasons i shall not go into details. i merely want to know from other Mistresses how you felt releasing someone for the first time. i know anyone can post here but what i'm seeking is a dominant woman's pov thanks

MistressOfGa -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 7:10:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl hello to all i should have done a search on this subject (thanks beforehand to LA and her "easy" button of links) but i'm seeking personal thoughts/experiences. i just released one of my pets this week however it's not the pet "disappearing" on me, i'm leaving him for reasons i shall not go into details. i merely want to know from other Mistresses how you felt releasing someone for the first time. i know anyone can post here but what i'm seeking is a dominant woman's pov thanks Like my own world had stopped turning. I think there is a grieving process that one must go through after releasing a sub, especially when one didn't really want to release him, but had no choice. (Sorry about the long run lol) Sambamanslilgirl, take time to heal. Know that you are not alone in your tears. MoGa

chamberqueen -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 8:01:31 AM)
Frankly, the first sub that I had built a relationship with that I let go caused me a lot of tears. He had not acted nearly up to the standards that I had expected, I put a lot of money and time and effort into him, and our five day holiday of having him spend every available second with me turned into a total of less than six hours. At first I blamed myself, thinking that somehow I had not been a good enough Mistress. Then I realized that he had basically been playing a game with me. It taught me a good lesson about the differences between what people SAY they will do and what they REALLY will do. Sure, it hurts. Even if there is a good reason for the seperation it is hard not to feel emotional about it - or what could have been. Just know that you need to do what is best for you, and chances are it will be best for the sub in the long run. Then look for something (or someone) better to use your time on.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 9:23:21 AM)
Sad. It's my default setting to blame myself for everything, so first off I questioned my judgement for choosing that person in the first place. Angry, of course, since how dare he disappoint me? Finally, you take what good you can from the situation, and move on. If you don't have an emotional reaction at the ending, what kind of relationship was it? Depending on the depth of feeling, IMO it's important to work on not feeling bitter over it, and letting that feeling leach over into other relationships.

MladyHathor -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 12:28:36 PM)
It depends on the reasons and the length of time invested--I'm not being cold, but life is what it is and sometimes pets are meant for others, so releasing may be the best thing---we cannot conquer them all. *Look at the good you did, what you gave them, how you grew them and be pleased that you left them better than you found them---*

GentleMistress5 -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 1:13:19 PM)
My first sub came to me, tearfully, and asked to be released. He was already working a full-time job, and was going to start his own business besides. He felt he didn't have the time to devote to me anymore and was struggling with his conflicted feelings about spending time with me and working to get his business going. It hurt like hell to let him go, but I truly knew it was best for him. So sad... My heart goes out to you, Sambamanslilgirl. Gentle Mistress

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 2:30:07 PM)
thank you everyone right now i am going through a wide range of emotions right now. i'm feeling sad and angry at the same time espcially since it's so close to my birthday and we had plans to celebrate together. se le vie

MsStarlett -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 3:47:37 PM)
It hurts. Like losing any relationship... lover, friend, or relative. I resently had to 'kick one to the curb'. He had been with me for YEARS and I was extremely fond of him. He was one of those 'roller coaster' rides. When it was good, it was AMAZING... but when it was bad, I just wanted to kill him. I tried several times to get this man out of my life... but some how, I just kept calling him back to me. This time. I think its really over. I'm not even really hurt or sad about it. Sort of numb, but sort of relieved. Part of me still hopes he comes crawling back. Part of me is relieved when I don't see any messages from him. I've even stopped checking "our secret email box" every day... just once a week.

Vendaval -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 5:27:28 PM)
I went through a range of emotions from angry, sad, resigned and finally, relieved. Some subs have way too much baggage, drama and neurotic behaviors. Go out and enjoy your birthday your friends and indulge in some quality personal time to recharge your energy.

PsyVamp -> RE: Letting him go (4/17/2008 6:23:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsStarlett It hurts. Like losing any relationship... lover, friend, or relative. I resently had to 'kick one to the curb'. He had been with me for YEARS and I was extremely fond of him. He was one of those 'roller coaster' rides. When it was good, it was AMAZING... but when it was bad, I just wanted to kill him. I tried several times to get this man out of my life... but some how, I just kept calling him back to me. This time. I think its really over. I'm not even really hurt or sad about it. Sort of numb, but sort of relieved. Part of me still hopes he comes crawling back. Part of me is relieved when I don't see any messages from him. I've even stopped checking "our secret email box" every day... just once a week. sighs Unfortunately, I get that- completely. OP: I will concur with the rest of the answers, adding only that I too looked to myself first, to see what in me could have caused the responses I did not want. I took a moment to fix what I thought was not quite right about me because in the end, it does take two. I felt sadness, loss, anger... the whole range of emotions that go into breaking apart any type of relationship. I also now know what NOT to look for in a pet/submissive/slave (or should I say, some of what NOT to look for) because of that relationship hugs Time will make it better. Lady Jag

LadySharon -> RE: Letting him go (4/18/2008 1:04:59 AM)
I feel for you... I had to release a very special boy, for reasons of his own making. It hurt like hell! When you've spent a significant amount of time and energy with someone building the trust that exists between a domme and her boy... it's like having a piece of you ripped off. You'll feel raw for a while, but, move on and learn whatever lesson you need from this; either about yourself or about the choices you made when you picked him, treated him and decided to let him go. Be strong, enjoy your birthday as a new beginning, a beginning that doesn't include him.... and remember, men are like buses... there will be another one by in about ten minutes!

LadyPact -> RE: Letting him go (4/18/2008 1:05:00 AM)
If it's someone you've grown close to, of course it hurts. There's a grieving process involved, just like when any other type of relationship ends. Sure it hurts, but that, along with the other emotions, are part of the process. You can count Me in with the camp with those who tend to take on the responsibility of whatever happened that warranted release to be looking inward at Myself. Why did I chose a particular person or what about Me prompted a certain behavior. That self analyzing is part of the process for Me. Yes, if the pet was important to you, it will take time. Yes, even without knowing the reason, it's probably going to hurt. I'm sorry that you're having to go through that.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125