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Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 2:22:56 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
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Back in college in one of my sociology courses, we looked into some research a female psychologist completed on adolescent experiences in school. She researched a broad cross-section of high schools from various ethnic and economic environments. She found that regardless of the school, each of them had a select few individuals she termed a "bad Suzy" (I might have the name wrong but you will get the point in a moment).

In each school, she found that the various groups and cliques of female students had chosen a female individual outside the group to be the subject of many of their discussions. This individual would be declared as having done some bad thing in particular and everyone would voice their opinion on the offense. But as it turned out, this individual had usually done none of them. What was really happening was the members of the group were using this person to divert suspicion away from themselves so they could "test the waters" so to speak on the acceptibility of something they themselves had an interest in.

For example, a girl might want to know how far it was acceptable to allow her boyfriend to go on a first date with kissing and fondling. By saying she heard that bad Suzy had gone to this point or further on a date, she could hear from her friends without admitting she was interested in doing it herself. There were no studies of male groups but I suspect something similar probably goes on with them as well.

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if this ever really stops and if not, how much of what's being discussed online is really a similar dynamic taking place among adults (female or male).

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

Post #: 1

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 2:41:41 PM

SimplySubmissive

Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline

I had a close group of friends in highschool, and some i shared with, some i did not. i knew which might be shocked, and which would not. not sharing with everyone was a way to protect myself. as far as sub friends, i have a few, but one in particular that i speak of everything with. she is never shocked, nor am i, when she shares.. it's all about attitude, and friendships.. not judging something someone else may do, but that i would never consider.
as far as testing the waters.. i may do that occasionally just to see what someone is open to discussing, not because of a fear of being judged.
i don't reacall ever ususing a fictional person for this reason. in high school, there is so much talk and gossip i think everyone already knew what would shock and what wouldn't.

sheesh.. high school, so glad thats over!!!

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 2

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 2:50:40 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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No, the majority of people never grow beyond their high school social dynamic level.

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Post #: 3

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 2:51:52 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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All I know is that I always wanted to fuck Bad Suzy, and when I finally met her, she turned out to be just peaches and cream.

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 4

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 2:53:25 PM

slvruncrn69

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/7/2004
From: slvruncrn69
Status: offline

Could not agree with you more! I, personally do not want to grow up but grow smart. *G*

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 5

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 3:07:10 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

No, the majority of people never grow beyond their high school social dynamic level.

Is this personal opinion or based on empirical studies? It's seems counter-intuitive to me. Granted, I've always been something of a loner, but it seems to me, from my personal observations that as folks get older they seem to be more relaxed and less concerned with the approval of their peer groups. OTOH, this may simply be indicative of the folks I tend to observe.
Timothy

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 6

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 3:14:59 PM

amazonlea

Posts: 30
Status: offline

I always wanted to be Bad Suzy but I never had the nerve until much later. So when I grew up I became her.

Grin.

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 7

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 3:34:17 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Well then that's what all that was about!
LOL, I was blessed with a new HighSchool in 10th grade, went from what they considered *city* to *rural*. Yea you guessed it. . . .as the fingers and whispers pointed my way at the tender age of 14. Even back then I had a bit of a hard shell so I let them talk and learned to revel in
entertaining myself at their expence. Thing is I ended up friends with all their brothers (yes
only friends) and I never could get a damn date!

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to amazonlea)

Post #: 8

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 6:17:52 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

Maybe it's just me, but what I've noticed is that many of the traits that made someone a nerd in high school are the very traits that are admired after the age of about 30.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 9

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 6:31:19 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Well, being as i only did 9 months in highschool, 8 months in 9th grade, 2 weeks in 10 and 2 weeks in twelf (the british system is abit different then ours and they couldnt figure out where to put me) i couldnt really tell you what they're like or if they grow out of "like highschool" But i can say, is that i am usually the black sheep, what i say is usually unacceptable, most are usually expecting it from me and i usually dont care.

(in reply to amazonlea)

Post #: 10

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 9:34:22 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

Back in college in one of my sociology courses, we looked into some research a female psychologist completed on adolescent experiences in school. She researched a broad cross-section of high schools from various ethnic and economic environments. She found that regardless of the school, each of them had a select few individuals she termed a "bad Suzy" (I might have the name wrong but you will get the point in a moment).

In each school, she found that the various groups and cliques of female students had chosen a female individual outside the group to be the subject of many of their discussions. This individual would be declared as having done some bad thing in particular and everyone would voice their opinion on the offense. But as it turned out, this individual had usually done none of them. What was really happening was the members of the group were using this person to divert suspicion away from themselves so they could "test the waters" so to speak on the acceptibility of something they themselves had an interest in.

For example, a girl might want to know how far it was acceptable to allow her boyfriend to go on a first date with kissing and fondling. By saying she heard that bad Suzy had gone to this point or further on a date, she could hear from her friends without admitting she was interested in doing it herself. There were no studies of male groups but I suspect something similar probably goes on with them as well.

Anyway, I sometimes wonder if this ever really stops and if not, how much of what's being discussed online is really a similar dynamic taking place among adults (female or male).

anthrosub

I can't comment about High School (especially in my country town) for those years of education, I was at Boarding School. However having read the OP a few times one thing becomes obvious. The "Bad Suzy" Syndrome is better known as the "Whipping Boy" or sometimes the "Sacrificial Goat/Lamb" Syndrome.. grown ups have been doing it for a few millenium so they can dodge the bullet and not have to answer for their actions. Some situations are very simple and others are sophistcuiated and complex yet the theme and psychology is the same. (Its the 12th Commandment ~ If ye be likely to be caught, find another to blame!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 11

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/10/2005 9:39:04 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

I never fit in in high school,I cared nothing for popularity. And they quickly learned not to talk crap like that to me. Since I would go repeat it to suzy,sam,whatever....-and s/he'd ream thier asses.

Made me a lot of enemies for being the one screwing up the fun,but also a few damn fine friends.

(and I still tell Sam and suzy when people backstab them now-didn't make me very popular in the high school mentality kink scene either,no loss.)

< Message edited by JustaTop -- 10/10/2005 9:41:07 PM >

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 12

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 1:37:17 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Midear Anthro-

Interesting observation-

I have a bet with myself as to the post that inspired it. Don't tell me- I am still thinking on it....

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 13

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 2:24:23 PM

anthrosub

Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear Anthro-

Interesting observation-

I have a bet with myself as to the post that inspired it. Don't tell me- I am still thinking on it....

Stay warm,
Lawrence

Well when you finally come to a conclusion, please post it; you have piqued my curiosity.

anthrosub

_____________________________

"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 14

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 2:40:42 PM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I know exactly what you mean, and I agree with the theory. However, I don't think collarme has necessarily come down with that particular syndrome. It's true that people hung up on others' acceptance of themselves, namely the ones who did the blaming in school, usually don't ever change in that regard. I think that collarme is a bit of an exception to that rule, though. Those who act in that fashion tend to be a bit more "vanilla" in my experience (and I've had quite a bit), and most of us are a bit more open-minded due to seeing quite a bit in this lifestyle.
In proof of the theory, in high school I was the "Bad Suzy". The more popular girls swore that I was a raging whore, that I'd fucked some guy in the art room after school, that I did girls too, blah blah blah blah blah. You get the idea. The funny thing is that I'd never even kissed a guy until I was fourteen. I never fooled around, let alone had sex until I'd left that school altogether, at seventeen. I didn't act on my bisexual impulses until I was eighteen. However, it was a Catholic school, and I was a "badass" goth, so it made me an easy target. I was dark and scary and seemed like I did things that they only dreamed about. Of course, none of it was true. I was actually quite a prude. However, after being totally honest with myself, and exploring the desires I possessed, I found this website and met a group of honest and typically nonjudmental people. Most of the people I've talked to, read posts from, etc. are kind and accepting. No doubt there are still those who feel the need to pass judgement on others, but I think they're in a shorter supply than usual on this site.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to anthrosub)

Post #: 15

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 4:28:00 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I've met more people who say they don't care what their peers think but *do*, than people who actually don't care. Humans are social creatures. We often need the approval of those we love or respect or appreciate to feel more comfortable with ourselves.

(This may be a major reason why BDSM'ers do not come out to their friends or family, at least until they have established a solid social replacement.)

(in reply to domtimothy46176)

Post #: 16

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 5:00:57 PM

JustaTop

Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

It's also interesting how many Tops refuse to admit to caving into peer pressure-when it's quite obvious that they do. It can be hard to leave high school, and be all grown up.

< Message edited by JustaTop -- 10/11/2005 5:02:05 PM >

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Post #: 17

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/11/2005 6:08:55 PM

Sensualips

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

When I read this initial post I was more interested in the dynamic of "testing the waters" idea than the pick-a-patsy theme. I find this has been a consistent pattern for me, particularly with my "vanilla" friendships and relationships. I don't think this is so much because I am uncomfortable with my own behavior or sexuality, but because I don't want them to be uncomfortable.

When I first began dating my now-ex-husband, I brought home lesbian porn for us to watch and discuss before revealing my bisexuality. I might positively comment on a person on the street with facial piercing and ask my friend/acquaintaince how they feel about body piercings. I will casually share with friends I have been at particular clubs/bars before letting it be known I have attended swinger lifestyle parties. And so on and so on. I tend to always reveal more than they will "approve" of immediately, but not so much they will be dreadfully shocked.

This may seem silly to those that fully embrace this lifestyle. I find myself constantly testing the waters with whatever "Bad Suzy" symbols may be available.

(in reply to JustaTop)

Post #: 18

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/12/2005 10:53:56 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
No, the majority of people never grow beyond their high school social dynamic level.

Of course not. The human animal peaks before 20 in most cases by design. Why would we think that later life would change this? Obviously experience helps but most peopel are "set" around 15 / 16 in most important ways personality wise.

Personally? I think high schools is probably one of the few times people are honestly just people. What most folks call "adulthood" is really jsut the process fo hiding that they haven't changed since then.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 19

RE: Bad Suzy Syndrome - 10/15/2005 10:17:30 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I LOVE the name of this post!!!

Aren't ALL Suzy's bad?!?

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 20

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