RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla?

RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 7:53:36 AM)
~ Fast Reply ~ quote: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? Perspective and experience are necessary to understand. Life, and the universe from a child's perspective considers that you are in the center of both. Life, like the planets and stars rotate around you. Experience makes you aware that was a false assumption. A good example of this is the show 'Zumanity'. Billed as an "erotic" "sexy" version of the 'cirque de soleil'; we found it boring and mundane - vanilla. However, I'm sure some tourists, who may have never seen their partner totally naked let alone performers, see it as "kinky". We consider our daily life 'vanilla'. Yet, I'd bet some would think the details and our 'routine' 24/7 kink. Drawing from another thread; we let others provide the opinion and judge - we'll keep living! BTW - How can you have an opinion without going through some kind of judgment process?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 8:57:31 AM)
Life is just life, really. When I say "vanilla", I mean the mundane things that are necessary to getting from day to day, the dishes, the laundry, the job. Life as such is NOT a 24/7 scene in that my slave will just be doing his thing without external direction from me---he KNOWS his job and what he is supposed to do. (ideally!) When a former slave went to the store and bought me my extra crunchy peanut butter because I like that kind, was it vanilla, or kink? Any nice SO would do the same, don't you think? For him, he was pleasing Me, so....kink? Whatever! I got my peanut butter, and that's what counted!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 12:19:23 PM)
To me it's simply that "acts" are neither vanilla or kinky, it's the intention and motivation and dynamic behind the act which matters. There are general stereotypical things we define as "kinky" but that's just for ease of communication, not for literal interpretation.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 12:29:38 PM)
I'm like you. I do not have a vanilla alter ego, perspective or lifestyle. I am who I am, all the time… even in grocery stores and gas stations.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 12:33:58 PM)
I don't know if I'll express this well, but I'll try. I think when "vanilla" is separated out, it is often to mean BDSM / Ds stuff like munches, play parties, "dressing the part" (leathers, etc.), and such versus daily life when one is NOT involving him/herself in such BDSM / Ds activities. So, going to a play party tonight means I'm living BDSM tonight, and going to the movies means I'm living vanilla tonight. That's my guess. All I know is I am his slave when I wake up, and when I'm doing all I do throughout the day, and when I go to bed at night, and when I sleep. All my activities are approved and directed by him, whether they are BDSM (meaning bondage, et. al.) related or not. I'm going to dinner with friends tonight. Vanilla? But I'm wearing a butt plug when I do. They won't know this...but he will and I will. I'm going for a bike ride tomorrow. Vanilla? But he approved it and set the parameters around it. They don't know this, but he does and I do. I'm going on vacation in a week, with a girl friend. Vanilla? But I had to seek his approval first, and send him our itinerary, and have my hotels selected in advance (at least for the first week of it), and I will need to report to him every day what we did, and what it made me think and feel. My life has no separation of the two. At any time my plans might change because he changes them. I might get a phone call while at the store which makes it difficult to remain standing. This has happened while at the check out on more than one occasion. Just yesterday he had a meeting around the corner from me, which came up at the last minute, and I had a call that said "Drop your plans and meet me there for lunch." So I did. And then I had another call, several hours later, which said, "The meeting was cancelled. I won't be up that way after all, so we won't be meeting for lunch." So I resumed my day. I have no "vanilla life." I have my life and I live it in slavery to him.

DavidsGem -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 3:43:27 PM)
Brightest Blessings You said it the way I wanted to say it ownedgirlie. Everything I do every breath I take is as property to him, there is no vanilla. BDSM and kink to me is the way I have sex, M/s is my day to day living, be it scrubbing toilets, doing homework, feeding animals, or laughing and scratching with friends or Man . I also think I am as clear as mud so I will stop LOL Blessed Be Gem

PsyVamp -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 3:52:13 PM)
I don't often talk of the day to day things as "vanilla" rather, I may call attention to them by calling them "life's details" If I happen to take my pet out on one of these little trips (grocery, Walmart, Sam's club...) there is usually just enough protocol (mostly invisible) that they aren't completely "vanilla" anyway. My life isn't always "whips and chains", heck, sometimes it is mostly NOT ...sighs but sneaking in the quick little things and keeping to basic household protocols helps keep he and I orientated. But those on the outside don't see anything different about our relationship, other than the fact that he is 17 years younger than I (that is something "just not done" much around "these parts") Lady Jag

BitaTruble -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/19/2008 9:31:11 PM)
Cripes. I completely forgot that I started this thread! I shouldn't try doing stuff like that at 4:30 in the morning when I've already taken melatonin. I have to go walk doggie right now, but I'll be back and read the responses. Thanks in advance for the replies everyone! Celeste - just loving menopause! [sm=oops.gif]

Prinsexx -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 2:06:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Yet, like you, regardless of what I am doing I have a certain mindset that causes me to see things in the world through the filter of ME knowing my private life. Like the ginger root in the grocery store. Smiling sweetly to myself....... I try not to use the term vanilla, as in oh this is SO vanilla...because then that would mean explaining what I mean and then that would mean explaining what bdsm means and it gets tiresome sometimes. Anyway in everyday life everyone I consider to be a friends, and the teens and all their mates all consider I am weird and somewhat 'different' in most things I do. But then I pride myself on the fact that so-called normal things also get handled....... Everything and everyone is an inspiration.....(or gives me the blues). Getting the blues is also an inspiration. Bottom line? vanilla is just a term that I suppose I could use to distinguish what I'm like from some others.....but delve deep enough and most people I know at least have some sort of kink even if they have never considered an alternative use for ginger,

Prinsexx -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 2:08:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Cripes. I completely forgot that I started this thread! I shouldn't try doing stuff like that at 4:30 in the morning when I've already taken melatonin. I have to go walk doggie right now, but I'll be back and read the responses. Thanks in advance for the replies everyone! Celeste - just loving menopause! [sm=oops.gif] Melatonin's a buzz but unlicensed here in Blighty....can I get busted?

LittleLadyBecca -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 6:57:58 AM)
I will admit now to not having read the whole of this thread, but I do want to say I agree fully with the OP. Nothing in my life is 'Vanilla', I am corseted, collared and wearing heels all of the time, and as soon as my wardrobe builds to a sufficient standard I will be flouncing around town in edwardian style dress. Master and I make a game out of trips into 'the real world' seeing how many possible kinksters we can spot. I love my position as a slave and I refuse to hide it. It's all part of the fun.

MzMia -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 7:05:01 AM)
I have noticed that those that seem to "live" this lifestyle, all the time are in relationships. I understand that, and I am fine with that. There really are those of us around that are totally single and NOT into or interested in "casual encounters". Can someone explain how you "live" this lifestyle 24/7 when you are single, and not involved in a relationship?

koutou -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 7:34:23 AM)
i made sure to read every reply. i view it this way. Vanilla is just that. vanilla. plain. for goodness sakes! it's ice cream! it is enjoyable! but...sometimes.. i like to add things to my ice cream. toppings. drizzled chocolate, m and m s. little crunchy things, a banana, building a sundae! everyone enjoys sex, (i hope) but what you add to it, mkaes it oh so much better!! even in a vanilla relationship, which i am in... and only one of us is into the things. (which.. well it's me) you'd be surpised of the things i can do to serve, show submissiveness, respect, honor without having to make him uncomforatble. and yes when shopping, i look at things in a naughty way. Wal-Mart is wonderful to get me excited. basters, wooden spoons, medical tape, dental floss! i don't get to play in depth the way i would love to and i do long for something more, but life gave me vanilla and i am willing to add my own toppings. koutou

PsyVamp -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 7:39:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzMia I have noticed that those that seem to "live" this lifestyle, all the time are in relationships. I understand that, and I am fine with that. There really are those of us around that are totally single and NOT into or interested in "casual encounters". Can someone explain how you "live" this lifestyle 24/7 when you are single, and not involved in a relationship? Ah MzMia..... you do not stop being who you are just because the other parts of the equation may not be in your life or near at the moment, you know that. When my um's are gone for the weekend (or I am away from them) it does not stop me from being a mother... When I was estranged from my husband for 10 years..(yes, we never talked or saw each other for 10 years and then he died) it did not magically un make me a wife (at least legally). As far as the life is concerned... you are still "here", still making connections, friends or whatever that are "in the life". So maybe it is just a mindset and not a particular activity. ;) Lady Jag

MzMia -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 7:55:01 AM)
Thank you so much for directly answering my question. I noticed 90% of the replies are from people IN relationships. I know that I am a Dominant woman {always} whether I have a submissive or not. I understand what you are saying, I really do, but........... I have to let this one go now, shades of gray! [;)]

LittleLadyBecca -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 8:16:44 AM)
I understand MzMia's point but i would also like to point out that when I was single and had nothing to do with BDSM in the physical sense (I have never just played casually) I still wore things as an outward sign of how I viewed myself and the way i acted always gave away my position. For example I worked in a bar at the time where I was expected to serve food, now it seems natural to me to drop to my knees and then place the heavy, hot plates on the table to ensure I didn't accidentally spill on anyone, but to others this was a give away move and I made more DS connections at my extremelly 'vanilla' bar than anywhere else.

catize -> RE: Life, the universe and everything is vanilla? (4/20/2008 9:29:31 AM)
Although I am not engaging in sexual acts this very moment it does not negate the fact that I am a sexual being. Although I am not at work at the moment I am still a nurse. I get paid for my nursing skills 40+ hours a week, but I don’t stop being one once I get home, cook dinner or scrub my floors. Life is multifaceted, full of colors and flavors and actions, no one act or orientation need cancel out any other. It doesn’t matter whether we think of ourselves as ~something~ full or part time. Whether we are engaged in ~something~ or not, thinking of ~something~ or not, we are a total package all the time.

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