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to be collared - 10/11/2005 8:59:18 AM

trampleonme

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline

What does it actually mean to be collared ?

Ive seen some people say they are looking for someone to collar.

Please forgive my naivety .. just trying to understand things.

Thank You in advance

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Post #: 1

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 9:19:42 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme

What does it actually mean to be collared ?

Ive seen some people say they are looking for someone to collar.

Please forgive my naivety .. just trying to understand things.

Thank You in advance

There's a wide variation. I, for example, use collars mainly as delimiters for consensual noncon scenes. On the other end of the spectrum are those who see a collar as something more powerful than a wedding ring. There are also those who have a number of collars, each denoting a certain level of acceptance of authority.

The best thing, as with most words in the scene, is to ask the individual speaking, "Just what do you mean by collared?"

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(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 2

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 9:55:50 AM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

trample, in general people use the word to mean possession or ownership. It can be used a lot of different ways, but to be "cllared" as a submissive or slave means most commonly means something like "I belong to, or am under the control of the person who gave me the collar."

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 10:51:36 AM

Shadowsdream

Posts: 35
Joined: 9/2/2004
Status: offline

I have a collared sub and a collared slave...I own slaves that are not collared. It can take years to earn My collar and in all My years of being a Mistress I have only offered these two collars.
For Myself and the two that have accepted the collars it means we anticipate a lifetime committment through a very deep need to take control and to give up control in a D/s relationship. The play is the icing in these relationships of Mine.
I also use collars on submissives that attend events with Me or train under Me but these collars are only used to allow them the "feel" for being owned in the moment. To experience what it might be like in a small way.
The collar question is one that will never get a universal answer but that having been said...the Velcro Collar is one that simply annoys Me to no end.

(in reply to Faramir)

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RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 11:15:02 AM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Collaring, like most things in D/s, is different for everyone. Some people believe it is a symbol of ownership, others think that it is like a wedding ring for alternative relationships. Personally, I totally disagree.

To me, the collar is a symbol of the effort and obedience put forth by the submissive, rewarded by the dominant after several years of challenging, difficult, and, overall, triumphant service.

But most people don't agree with me.

(BTW, I figure, if you make a D/s commitment, as a submissive, you're owned. I don't think a collar is a necessary component of that.)

(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 5

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 11:23:32 AM

trampleonme

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline

Thank you all for your responses. Already i am learning alot here and have a better understanding.

Again .. Thank YOU all for helping me to furthur my education in the D/s world.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

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Post #: 6

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 11:51:13 AM

brighthorizens

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

I just want to throw my two cents in on this subject. I always love seeing the different responses it gets.

For me personally, the physical collar has very little meaning. It's something to attach a leash to, or to show the outside world that you're not on the market. What matters is the collar on your heart. The one that nobody else sees so easily. The one that can't be removed.

I have not yet had a physical collar put around my neck by the one I'm with now and honestly it's not something that I sit and wait for. I'm content to never be collared in that manner. I know in my heart that I am owned and he knows that I am devoted only to him. That's what matters.

_____________________________

What do you when the only person who can make you stop crying is the one who made you cry?

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Post #: 7

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 1:11:14 PM

trampleonme

Posts: 26
Joined: 5/31/2005
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That was very well put !!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: brighthorizens

I just want to throw my two cents in on this subject. I always love seeing the different responses it gets.

For me personally, the physical collar has very little meaning. It's something to attach a leash to, or to show the outside world that you're not on the market. What matters is the collar on your heart. The one that nobody else sees so easily. The one that can't be removed.

I have not yet had a physical collar put around my neck by the one I'm with now and honestly it's not something that I sit and wait for. I'm content to never be collared in that manner. I know in my heart that I am owned and he knows that I am devoted only to him. That's what matters.

(in reply to brighthorizens)

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Post #: 8

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 1:23:26 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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Agreed fully brighthorizens...

A symbol means nothing if it is not branded in the heart and soul and mind.

< Message edited by slavedesires -- 10/11/2005 1:24:02 PM >

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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Post #: 9

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 1:33:29 PM

ownedjulia

Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

Agreed fully brighthorizens...

A symbol means nothing if it is not branded in the heart and soul and mind.

or branded on the body....

_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to slavedesires)

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Post #: 10

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 1:49:48 PM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
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Ditto, brighthorizens. Well said : )

syn

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Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

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Post #: 11

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 2:32:31 PM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

what does it mean? oh lawdy have mercy..

okay
for ME?
it MEANS i am NOT free to make ANY...MAJOR decisions for myself anymore. it means it is about like having a parent again...Mistress says what i get to spend on what...
Mistress says when bedtime is
Mistress says what i am doing each day..whether i like it or not

Mistress just says everything in my life coz She IS my life........MORE than ANY wife or girlfriend could EVER be........
except there is NO sex for ME because She IS married........

take care--good luck on your new journey
woofie

(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 12

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 2:38:55 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

Greetings,

To me personally a collar signifies ownership, the willingness of myself to consent to nonconscent.It is a silent reminder that I am HIS. It is a public decloration of our M/s relationship much like a wedding ring between a husband and wife.Unlike my brand I can not hide it with clothing. It is an external symbol of the internal love and devotion I hold. It is a way for my Master to leash me and yank me back to his feet.

That being said within the alternative livestyles you see many different collars these are the ones that I most commanly see:

protection collar,consideration collar,formal collar,and the velcro collar

Nika, Phoenix's Gothic Wench

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to lonewolf05)

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Post #: 13

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 4:07:08 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme

What does it actually mean to be collared ?

Ive seen some people say they are looking for someone to collar.

Please forgive my naivety .. just trying to understand things.

Thank You in advance

When I place a collar on a submissive/slave, it a symbol that I have claimed her for my own. It shows that I have accepted the responsibility of ownership, of ensuring that her needs, long- and short-term will be met and that she will be kept physically and emotionally healthy. It is a sign of my commitment.
When I first collared toy, she considered herself a servant and a submissive. Although she didn't consider herself owned or a slave, by placing my collar around her throat, I still accepted the responsibilities of an owner. Were I not prepared to make that commitment, I wouldn't have collared her.
For me, it's as symbolic as a wedding ring and even more binding. One of the reasons I chose an eternity collar was because of the similarity. (On a sidebar, has anyone else seen the pics of Annette Funicello in an Eternity Collar?) As much as I love the look and feel of leather, there is much to be said for a metal collar that requires and Allan wrench to remove it. :)
Timothy

(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 14

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 6:36:05 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme

What does it actually mean to be collared ?

To answer that I'd need to spend several pages quoting every sub/slave I know, for each one has a unique reply. However I'd say for your education, you have an excelent cross section of replies already.

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme

Ive seen some people say they are looking for someone to collar.

Ahhhh huhhh. I fall into that catragory. At present, House Iron Bear is slave free. So yes there are openings for a male and female or two females. They will be trained and experienced kajirae or sub/slaves wanting to become Gorean slaves... In this respect I/We are looking to fill a collar or three.

However on a personal level, there is something missing, a slave kneeling next to me, her head on my thigh, the look of delight when she is praised or sees that she has pleased me, the tears and fear in case I have found her displeasing... The list is endless.

Yes there is something missing, however I can live without a slave except she is there under my conditions. I'm buggered if I'll be so pathetic as to run about wringing my hands and weeping that I dont have a filled collar.

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme

Please forgive my naivety .. just trying to understand things.

Thank You in advance

What's to forgive? Every one started with no knowledge at one time. Some have travelled different paths to learn, you have chosen what i deem to be a smart and good path with so many here who can and will help.... I wish you the best journey possible on your quest. May you always have good friends to help and guide you.

Jai a keh'ra greshak tahem jula. Jan di ashe drena kanta vethuk lina. Jai na ven sev a lae an she'vo a porte ~~

"May you fly upon wings of glory. Travel with an open mind and heart. May your day bring happiness and joy to you and yours "

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 15

RE: to be collared - 10/11/2005 7:23:24 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

I have often wondered about the statement 'being collared'. If I accepted an engagement diamond would I be 'ringed'?..*grin*. Come to think of it I was 'pinned' in college!

< Message edited by Elegant -- 10/11/2005 7:25:57 PM >

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Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

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Post #: 16

RE: to be collared - 10/12/2005 10:47:25 AM

Soulhuntre

Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme
What does it actually mean to be collared ?

There is no general answer.

In my house it is a symbol of service. It means my decisions are final for the person wearing that symbol.

(in reply to trampleonme)

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Post #: 17

RE: to be collared - 10/12/2005 10:57:11 AM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Yes there is something missing, however I can live without a slave except she is there under my conditions. I'm buggered if I'll be so pathetic as to run about wringing my hands and weeping that I dont have a filled collar.

How completely true. We, also, have collars to fill, mostly because we enjoy having this dynamic in our lives -- but we would prefer for the collars to be -empty- than to have them filled with people who have no appreciation for the life that -we- are trying to shape. Whether they have their own vision of being a servant is, frankly, less relevant than whether their vision and our vision match. I have a very full life as it stands, and no time to expend on someone who is persistent in trying to make -my- life into -hir- vision.

We have been fortunate this month. We have one girl who, after 2 years of getting to know one another and 3 months of concerted discussion, is ready to commit to a formal service contract with our household...and in our time of joy, we have been blessed again with another girl who seems to have an ideal mix of spice, warmth, and the need to serve and provide comfort to suit our vision. Only time will tell if she will grace a second collar, but though we are demanding, we are not impatient. *grins*

May you have success at the right time, in the right place, and with the right people for your vision, IronBear.

Lady Zephyr

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 18

RE: to be collared - 10/12/2005 11:08:34 AM

Hallittlelolita

Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
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Being collared means alot of things to different people. Being collared to me means i am owned and I belong to my Master and He makes all the important desicions for me. my life is no longer mine but His life and He has to take care of me and love me because i am His own