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I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:17:58 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

A Dom friend of mine that I have known for over 3 years as a very good friend just told me some news that I have no idea what to do with. He has been my friend through everything the last few years, he has been there for the past year as a great friend and someone to talk to since my Master has been gone. I tell him everything, any problem I have usually gets to him eventually. He has been one of my closest friends and I care for him alot.

Now today he revealed that he cares for me as more then a friend. That he has wanted me for himself all this time. I honestly and sincerly had no idea, clueless on my part maybe but I really didnt know. He says he has told me in the past but either I missed the signs or he really wasn't clear. Anyway know I know and I am very happily taken. So what do I do with this information? I don't want to lose him as a friend, I would hate to lose him as a friend. And I don't want things to be weird between us but I don't know if I can talk to him in the same way that I have in the past. I have always talked to him about my relationships and stuff like that, I cant exactly do that now. What do I do? Act like he never told me and be the same way I have always been with him? Or do I change the way I act around him?

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Any words of advice? Anything?

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RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:21:51 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You say

I don't want to lose you as a friend, I would hate to lose you as a friend. And I don't want things to be weird between us but I don't know if I can talk to you in the same way that I have in the past. I'm glad you finally came forward and told me, I am very happily taken and as long as you can respect that and not be hurt and allow that to interfere with our friendship, I'm willing to see if I can work through this so we can continue as we have before.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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Post #: 2

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:26:27 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_1797644/mpage_3/key_/tm.htm#1798792

quote:

Me
It is the ploy of the desperate. I have several "buddies" that have tried to "lean" on a friendship in the hopes of one day it may lead to getting knee deep in their swa. (Pussouis...swa for short.)

They prey for the time that they will be present for the inevitable "weak moment"...then they will pounce like a lioness that has cornered a wounded wart hog. They are willing to betray whatever sense of trust that they have garnered in the hopes of fucking their "friend."

Out here it is the routine. Quite frankly I don't find it to be all that horrific. In a sense these people will learn one of life's grand lessons. Pick your friends and your protectors wisely. For the majority of you are simply dumb wounded wart hogs that are incapable of discerning between true shelters in the storm from leaping lionesses.

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RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:45:33 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

I'm almost mad at him for him even telling me. I have no idea what he hoped to gain from telling me or why he even told me at all. I have no idea what he wants me to do with this information.

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I am His loyal slave

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Post #: 4

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:46:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03
I'm almost mad at him for him even telling me. I have no idea what he hoped to gain from telling me or why he even told me at all. I have no idea what he wants me to do with this information.

Maybe nothing. Ask him.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 5

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 5:50:49 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

I'm almost mad at him for him even telling me. I have no idea what he hoped to gain from telling me or why he even told me at all. I have no idea what he wants me to do with this information.

I imagine he was looking for some head, ass, pussy etc.

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Post #: 6

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 6:02:10 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

To see if it is reciprocated. Make your feelings on that clear.

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Post #: 7

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 6:42:23 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Yeah, his sense of timing... off. He could have told you when you weren't "taken".

Cali

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Post #: 8

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 7:03:02 PM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

Don't be so selfish. It is not all about you. The guy told you because it has been a burden for him to carry around without sharing it. There are far worse things in life than to have somebody tell you that they care about you. Handle it like an adult...be as open with your feelings for him as he has with you. Put the ball back into his court. It wasn't you that tried to change the relationship dynamic.

Or offer to blow him or let him plow you like the back 40...once.

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"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

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Post #: 9

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 7:15:03 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

I'm almost mad at him for him even telling me. I have no idea what he hoped to gain from telling me or why he even told me at all. I have no idea what he wants me to do with this information.

The guy told you because the "nice guy" image hasn't worked and he hasn't gotten into your pants. So now he's trying something different to see if you take up his offer. He wants you to fuck him and he's being blunt about it.

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Post #: 10

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 7:36:47 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

Don't be so selfish. It is not all about you. The guy told you because it has been a burden for him to carry around without sharing it. There are far worse things in life than to have somebody tell you that they care about you. Handle it like an adult...be as open with your feelings for him as he has with you. Put the ball back into his court. It wasn't you that tried to change the relationship dynamic.

Or offer to blow him or let him plow you like the back 40...once.

Your right it's not all about me. And I have taken his feelings into consideration. That's why im trying to figure out how to still be friends without everything being weird between us. I dont want to hurt him or act as if his feelings mean nothing.

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I am His loyal slave

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Post #: 11

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 7:48:52 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Sub03,

I am willing to be your friend next,

I promise to only grab your but if I can play it off as an accident and only Peep through your Bathroom window on every OTHER shower.

I promise that I will only Masturbate to the Photos I take of you while Partially dressed and NEVER the the ones from my Up-Skirt Shoe Camera.

......

Okay I'm giving you a hard time.

Friends or not YOU HAVE TO SET A BOUNDRY!!! Chances are the firendship is over because he will always have these feeling for you and truth be told he always did only now he is informing you of them.

SO how many Back rubs in your mind just became Creepy now that you know that?

Hunny Seriously I think you need to just set him down and inform him that you are HAPPILY Taken and if he cannot respect that then he needs to stop contacting you.

Steel

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(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 12

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:08:57 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

You both have to make your feelings clear. The fact this just came to light would worry me that something is wrong. Either he has be wishy washy and not expressed himself or he has been clear and you just haven’t heard him until now.

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Post #: 13

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:14:28 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You both have to make your feelings clear. The fact this just came to light would worry me that something is wrong. Either he has be wishy washy and not expressed himself or he has been clear and you just haven’t heard him until now.

Thats what he claims. He may be right, I don't know. I've always known he wanted to play with me and he has had permission to play within limits from my Master. But I didn't know it went beyond that. Maybe I was a little dense and missed what was probably right there.

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owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

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Post #: 14

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:22:39 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

......

Okay I'm giving you a hard time.

Friends or not YOU HAVE TO SET A BOUNDRY!!! Chances are the firendship is over because he will always have these feeling for you and truth be told he always did only now he is informing you of them.

SO how many Back rubs in your mind just became Creepy now that you know that?

Hunny Seriously I think you need to just set him down and inform him that you are HAPPILY Taken and if he cannot respect that then he needs to stop contacting you.

Steel

Ive talked with him and he says he knows I'm taken and that he dosen't expect anything and that it dosent change anything. He claims that it dosent bother him knowing I'm taken and says I should just forget he told me.

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

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Post #: 15

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:25:07 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

So you can either take him at face value, depending on the years you've known him and trusted him so far and see where that honestly goes...or you can keep freaking out, making a big hunky deal out of it and stress everyone out.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Sub03)

Post #: 16

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:28:54 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Or you chose to ignore all the signs and clues because it did not suit your purpose to acknowledge them.you possibly hoped it would disappear..quit going to him for your issues..go to your Dominant, he is the one to go to anyway . and yes I know you confided in him when you had no Dominant, but I am wondering if you still go to him when your mate frustrates, confuses, or confuffles you...seems to me you are keeping this friend on a wee string..Let him go, do not continue with the confidences you should be now sharing with your mate..let him go to find his own mate..you can still be friends...but your best friend should be your Sir...Let him go....Tempting

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Post #: 17

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:55:51 PM

Sub03

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Or you chose to ignore all the signs and clues because it did not suit your purpose to acknowledge them.you possibly hoped it would disappear..quit going to him for your issues..go to your Dominant, he is the one to go to anyway . and yes I know you confided in him when you had no Dominant, but I am wondering if you still go to him when your mate frustrates, confuses, or confuffles you...seems to me you are keeping this friend on a wee string..Let him go, do not continue with the confidences you should be now sharing with your mate..let him go to find his own mate..you can still be friends...but your best friend should be your Sir...Let him go....Tempting

I go to my Master with everything. There is nothing I keep from him. Any problem I have always goes to him first, but that dosen't mean I can't ask the advice of a close friend on different matters if I feel the need. Most of the time it's just having someone to talk too, especially since my Master has been away. And I would be thrilled if he found someone for himself. I have been telling him forever that he needs to find someone for himself. I don't hog him for myself and I dont string him along. I want him to be happy. I want him to have someone to make him happy. Im sorry but he has been too good of a friend to just let go and I have no plans on doing that.

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 18

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/20/2008 8:56:48 PM

Real_Trouble

Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03

A Dom friend of mine that I have known for over 3 years as a very good friend just told me some news that I have no idea what to do with. He has been my friend through everything the last few years, he has been there for the past year as a great friend and someone to talk to since my Master has been gone. I tell him everything, any problem I have usually gets to him eventually. He has been one of my closest friends and I care for him alot.

Now today he revealed that he cares for me as more then a friend. That he has wanted me for himself all this time. I honestly and sincerly had no idea, clueless on my part maybe but I really didnt know. He says he has told me in the past but either I missed the signs or he really wasn't clear. Anyway know I know and I am very happily taken. So what do I do with this information? I don't want to lose him as a friend, I would hate to lose him as a friend. And I don't want things to be weird between us but I don't know if I can talk to him in the same way that I have in the past. I have always talked to him about my relationships and stuff like that, I cant exactly do that now. What do I do? Act like he never told me and be the same way I have always been with him? Or do I change the way I act around him?

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Any words of advice? Anything?

My immediate thoughts:

Do not send mixed signals. This means you need to quickly decide what you want, and then stick to your guns on this one. If you are happily taken, as you claim, then you shouldn't even have to be asking this question because the answer is obvious:

Tell him you are flattered, and you appreciate what he has said, but then tell him no very firmly and that you are taken. There is no complication here, and if he is a reasonable human being, he will understand.

_____________________________

Send lawyers, guns, and money.

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Post #: 19

RE: I like you as more then a friend... - 4/21/2008 6:17:54 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Dont pay any attention to Domiguy. If you were to ask me I would imagine that he was looking for some head, ass, pussy, ect.

(in reply to Real_Trouble)

Post #: 20

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