RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK

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Daddyslilpookie -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:28:37 AM)
Playing under the influence of drugs or alchol it is soo wrong[:'(]

MadRabbit -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:33:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie Playing under the influence of drugs or alchol it is soo wrong[:'(] What if someone needed to take an anti-psychotic to keep from seeing pink squirrels that drove him into fits of violent rage? Would you rather play with that person under the influence of that drug or when he was completely sober?

HalloweenWhite -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:37:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist Dolcett. ......Agreed, Dolcett's not good.

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:38:07 AM)
I meant street drugs not medication..

ownedgirlie -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:42:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble My questions: What BDSM activities are always wrong .. not for just for you but for anyone? Why? Is there an activitiy within BDSM which if engaged in by someone you would believe them to need mental health therapy? Would you deem a dominant who engages in the activity to be automatically abusive despite the consent? If someone were engaging in a practice which you deem is wrong for them, would you point this out online? In person? Would you consider someone calling YKINOK to be wearing a BDSM Police Badge and is it okay for someone to wear that badge? Celeste You said BDSM activities rather than M/s or D/s activities which may change things a bit. But Going with the general theme here as I understand it - is there anything two consenting adults might do which I think no one should do (whether or not bondage related)? I think fostering substance abuse addictions is unethical. I think turning your submissive into your own personal hit man is unethical (although tempting, ha!). I think playing with the dead is disrespectful, unless of course the dead, before actually being dead, made a request that he or she wanted to be played with. I think bringing harm to other innocent beings (human or non-human) is wrong and by that I mean do not pull in other creatures that may not know and understand what is happening, and cause them undue distress. But for the most part, whatever two consenting adults want to do within the context of their personal expression and relationship, go for it. Now, regarding mental health? I can only quote what MR said, because I fully agree with it: "Psychiatrists spend weeks getting to know patients before making a diagnosis. It's a bit silly to think that I could do it in three paragraphs." That was brilliant because we do see a lot of Internet Shrinks here. It's enough to make you crazy!! [sm=insane.gif] As to your next question: quote: Oh, btw everyone, if you have ever been on the receiving end of YKINOK, please feel free to share your experience and what brought such attention to you. As the song goes..."Where do I begin?!"[8D] Let's see, I engage in ass-to-mouth without scouring with ammonia and peroxide first (sarcasm), so my Master is abusive and does not have a care in the world about my health and well being and I must flee!! Flee for the hills to get away from this awful man! I drove 2 hours to give him a blow job once and it stormed on my way home and took me 4 hours to return. This was somehow converted to him making me drive in a snow storm (in San Francisco???) and laughing at me all the while! Bad, bad dom. Evil man. I must run and run now! He rarely uses lubricant when taking me anally. Do we not know this can kill me? This is NOT ok, you know. To not use lubricant. He apparently has no regard for my well being (even though I beg for it because it's hot to me, but then I'm mentally ill according to some here). I was in an abusive marriage. This somehow makes me totally unqualified to partake in anything BDSM. I am not part of any local community, which somehow removes any credibility I have to say anything on these boards. I kissed his feet at the Las Vegas airport, which was a really awful thing according to some, as I subjected my "kink" on the world at large. I don't limit what he can do to me, which, according to many, qualifies me as mentally ill. He let a stranger come use a dildo on me, which was one of the most bonding moments between Mr. Wonderful and I, for reasons too involved to explain here, but according to some, he has no respect for me and doesn't care about me. We engage in (drum roll and prepare for gasps) scat activities, which apparently is on "the universal standard limit list." So I am gross, mentally unstable, uncared about, and a count down away from death. I actually do find chainsaws to be frightenly hot, which makes me a danger to society. Oh, and because I claim to do some of these things, I must somehow find myself to be an elitist, an uber-slave, holier than thou, and a goddess to all. The list goes on. All of these judgments, none of these people know me personally. I take you back to MR's quote: *"Psychiatrists spend weeks getting to know patients before making a diagnosis. It's a bit silly to think that I could do it in three paragraphs."* However some of the therapists that I have been to actually took months, not weeks, before beginning to understand who they were dealing with. Interesting thread! Sorry for the ramble, but I had fun putting it together. [;)]

DesFIP -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:54:07 AM)
I think some things are inherently risky to a point that safety precautions just aren't good enough. I would say that anything that risks eye injuries for someone with implants in the eye, or a history of detached retina is something that isn't ever okay. With immediate hospitalization and surgery by a top notch opthalmic surgeon, a detached retina can be successfully repaired. Once. The chances of successful reattachment goes down each time you try it.

chellekitty -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 8:58:08 AM)
quote: We engage in (drum roll and prepare for gasps) scat activities, which apparently is on "the universal standard limit list." So I am gross, mentally unstable, uncared about, and a count down away from death. i see your scat activities (all people who give rim jobs engage in scat activities, duh) and raise you canibalistic rituals (not been done yet, but hopefully, some day)...in short, part of a skin removal scarification, after the skin has been removed from each person to eat it...there are lots of reasons behind it...but that would be so fucking hot...specially if it was fried, like chicharones... chelle

SteelofUtah -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:20:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie I meant street drugs not medication.. A common Medication for Pain is OxyCotton and is Abused by 1 in 4 patients and is often abused by those who it is not even prescribed for. That being said WHO gets to Decide? I know a girl who is a Cancer survivor, she smokes pot, because it keeps her appitite up which is helping her to regain body mass. NONE of the other medications could do this without side effectes that she didn't care for, such as Anal Leakage or Compacted Bowels. So she smoked pot regularly. I am a recovering addict and so Drugs are usually NOT okay with me but in this case I saw the purpose and we played regularly even while she was High. It comes down to the situation as has been said before. Steel

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:29:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie I meant street drugs not medication.. A common Medication for Pain is OxyCotton and is Abused by 1 in 4 patients and is often abused by those who it is not even prescribed for. That being said WHO gets to Decide? I know a girl who is a Cancer survivor, she smokes pot, because it keeps her appitite up which is helping her to regain body mass. NONE of the other medications could do this without side effectes that she didn't care for, such as Anal Leakage or Compacted Bowels. So she smoked pot regularly. I am a recovering addict and so Drugs are usually NOT okay with me but in this case I saw the purpose and we played regularly even while she was High. It comes down to the situation as has been said before. Steel Okay I am probably going to get flamed for this BIGTIME but... I think there is nothing wrong with pot, it grows in the earth it is a plant. Playing under the influence of pot if not using any sharp objects or anything that can harm you is fine. I wouldn't reccomend using machinery as in driving a car or somthing of that nature under the influence but if you are at home just chilling and relaxing and not plan on driving anywhere and the kids are gone off somewhere than that is fine, I am in no way knocking it[;)] Like you said it comes down to the situation.

Seniorwolf -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:31:03 AM)
quote: Is there an activitiy within BDSM which if engaged in by someone you would believe them to need mental health therapy? I would have to say those who seek to become "authentic" amputees or a Dom/me who try to talk their sub/slave into "extreme", note the quotation marks, disfigurement scenarios.

RCdc -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:35:23 AM)
Pookie Do you realise that some medications (even something though of as simple as asprin) can be more dangerous during play than some 'street' drugs - depending on the persons involved? I understand that what I have said doesn't really contribute to the original thread, but I really wanted to highlight the awareness of drug use in BDSM isn't always so black and white - when posters do not take into consideration the individual, yet concentrate on the substance. the.dark.

Daddyslilpookie -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:38:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Pookie Do you realise that some medications (even something though of as simple as asprin) can be more dangerous during play than some 'street' drugs - depending on the persons involved? I understand that what I have said doesn't really contribute to the original thread, but I really wanted to highlight the awareness of drug use in BDSM isn't always so black and white - when posters do not take into consideration the individual, yet concentrate on the substance. the.dark. Yes I understand that, it just boils down to the situation.

colouredin -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:41:15 AM)
Which is true of most things, sweeping statements can often be argued against, it depends on the people involved the circumstances and situation etc etc

Missokyst -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:46:57 AM)
There are a few obvious things that would make me reach over and yank the nose hairs out. But there was one that someone did which made me so angry if I would have been sitting next to him I would have castrated him on the spot. I had been chatting with a civilized, reasonable person for about a month when we got around to sharing pics. Pretty soon family shots were passed around and I had one which was taken at a picnic with my daughter (adult) sitting on the bench near me. He asked who that was and I told him it was my daughter. He said she was pretty, and had I considered introducing her into BDSM? I was stunned and did not say anything for a bit.. and he continued. Apparently he has always wanted to have a mother daughter experience. All I can say is it was a good thing he lived in another state. That kink is not ok with me. Kyst

SteelofUtah -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:56:00 AM)
Personally I tend not to understand the YKINOK Mentality. Even the Staples Blood Piss Scat Beastiality Pedophilia Disfigurment Mutilation I can understand all of these kinks even if I don't approve of them, I am able to understand why someone else would. To be completely honest I think MANY kinks that get discussed on these boards are being discussed by people who have yet to actually do them making them Fantasies NOT kinks. I know many people in this lifestyle would would Freak out at what John Warren did but truth be told he indulged a Fantasy NOT a Kink, because had he indulded in the Kink he would be coined a Monster for being a Cannibal. Truth be told I even under stand THE FANTASY. So even if someone did want to indulge in it I could understand why I just would not approve. Common Fantasies are Kinky Fantasies but aren't quite LITERAL therfore making them indulgent fantasies. For instance Rape as a Kink is Quite Impossible because the girl WANTS to be raped making it a consentual act making it NO LONGER Rape. There are so many variable to Kink that when people start getting into the Your Kink Is NOT okay I just wanna smack them and go "WHY?" Because someone made you the Standard? The truth of the matter is if you can find a web site for it you can be sure there are MORE THAN ONE PERSON INTERESTED IN IT. Thuss making it common to a sub group. BDSM is a SUB GROUP. We are not a Majority nor are we a Morale cornerstone. As a rule we engage in acts that the Majority of AMERICA and So-Called Civilized Societies do not practice However ask an Arab in a CONVENTIONAL Arabic Marriage if it is a BAD thing to hit your wife if she does something wrong and he will answer of course not, However Even in this lifestyle you will get people who say NO THAT'S WRONG cause she didn't WANT him too, but none the less you do the same thing with your "slave" and call it Better.... for what reason?? People, especially those who judge others Kinks need to accept that what we do, ALL of what we do is WRONG to someone else. If we want to live the way we do we need to accept that. Those who see something someone does as Morally Wrong ask yourself this.... What would a Holy Man think about your Union? Just because he would dissaprove does that make what you do Wrong? So then why should it change for someone else and thier particular kink. Steel Hoping I didn't end up all over the place I have lots of thoughts I wanted to get across

MadRabbit -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 9:56:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: Daddyslilpookie I meant street drugs not medication.. A common Medication for Pain is OxyCotton and is Abused by 1 in 4 patients and is often abused by those who it is not even prescribed for. That being said WHO gets to Decide? I know a girl who is a Cancer survivor, she smokes pot, because it keeps her appitite up which is helping her to regain body mass. NONE of the other medications could do this without side effectes that she didn't care for, such as Anal Leakage or Compacted Bowels. So she smoked pot regularly. I am a recovering addict and so Drugs are usually NOT okay with me but in this case I saw the purpose and we played regularly even while she was High. It comes down to the situation as has been said before. Steel I find these scenarios to be realistic and I agree. I thought of a few similar to them, but I have been trying to not pick on people as much as I used to, so I let it go [:D] (P.S. And pfft if you think recovering from Drug Addiction is bad....[:D])

Poetryinpain -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 10:00:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Seniorwolf quote: Is there an activitiy within BDSM which if engaged in by someone you would believe them to need mental health therapy? I would have to say those who seek to become "authentic" amputees or a Dom/me who try to talk their sub/slave into "extreme", note the quotation marks, disfigurement scenarios. Wannabe amputees are not limited to the BDSM world. I have heard of (and from) people who did such things as sit with their leg in a vat of dry ice until it was so damaged the doctor had no choice but to amputate. They are happy campers after the operation. I have a private theory that there is a physiological reason as well as a psychological reason for the condition. As long as a BDSM activity is between (or among) fully-informed and consenting people of legal age and with the mental capacity to understand what they are consenting to, and as long as the activity does not physically or mentally harm other living beings (I don't consider foot-kissing to be psychologically damaging to onlookers - quaint, but unremarkable), then I say do what feels OK to you. As I once heard someone say, "As long as they don't do it in the streets and scare the horses." I don't know of any specific examples to put forth here, but I'm sure people can think of many ways to do just that. pip, who isn't quite that adventurous

Seniorwolf -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 10:38:15 AM)
quote: Personally I tend not to understand the YKINOK Mentality. Even the Staples Blood Piss Scat Beastiality Pedophilia Disfigurment Mutilation I can understand all of these kinks even if I don't approve of them, I am able to understand why someone else would. To be completely honest I think MANY kinks that get discussed on these boards are being discussed by people who have yet to actually do them making them Fantasies NOT kinks. I know many people in this lifestyle would would Freak out at what John Warren did but truth be told he indulged a Fantasy NOT a Kink, because had he indulded in the Kink he would be coined a Monster for being a Cannibal. Truth be told I even under stand THE FANTASY. So even if someone did want to indulge in it I could understand why I just would not approve. I would agree with to a certain degree Utah but there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. First off, the YKINOK mentality is the by product of our "grouping" nature. Human beings are, for some odd reason, a "restirctive" social grouping createure that loves to categoriez things. We do this in oder to define or differentiate between items, beliefs, people, races, religion and creeds. Once we have categoriezed our surrounding, to satisifaction of course, we then place definitions of correctness or acceptability. This is where YKINOK rears its ugly but social group specific head. Due to the advent of the internet, YKINOK would have occured only when two BDSM groups met during a large scale meeting of the minds. If there was no desire to meet or intermingle with "other" groups with "varying" beliefs, then YKINOK would not be an issue for the secluded communities. The internet and the growth of social networking among BDSM groups have, in effect, tried to fit 8lbs of meat into a 6 oz soup can. Some of the meat, what is commonly believed as "extreme" play, to cut away to make room for what is considered the "choice" cuts. One of my fetishes happened to hit the cutting room floor. I love using diapers as a tool for submition when I am breaking in a sub. I also happen to be a partial DL. When ever I mention diapers, the faces I recieve or the change in mannerism is hilarious. It is like I poked someone in a super secret spot. lol it is priceless, but anyways I digress. Is YKINOK acceptable? I do not think it is acceptable, but even I have my limits, and wave the "OMG, that is fucking nuts" banner. I can not tolerate Pedophilia, and I believe the is no excuse to validate that kind of behavior. Also, I think Pedophilia goes beyond a kink and into the realm of mental disorder, but we all know that the mind is often a hard place to label. Will I try to stop you if I see you engaging in a Pedophiliac act? Fuck yeah I will.... beyond this, I chalk up all other play as being someone else's choices. If you want to cut off a limb, who am I to stop you? Do I think it is nutz? Hell yeah! Do I consider something like that being a fetish? No, I do not. I seriously, think there is something mentaly wrong with a person who is willing to injur themself to that degree but that is the view of my "social netwerk" and I understand that it varies from one group to the next. I know this can also be used to validate Pedophilia crimes but, as per my views, I wouldn't act to stop an fetish amputee from doing something they desires because it isbased on consent, but Pedophiliac crimes consist of a willing and unwilling partner. Bah, let's just move on, shall we? I often tell people do what they like as long as it does not hurt or infirnge on someone else's rights and well being. Also, I often say, "Reflect on your actions before you act!" "Once you act there is not turning back" I guess what I am trying to get at is that we are a factioned group. We have varying backgrounds, social norms, rules of engagment, degrees of understanding, as well as some having the social desire of being conformist or nonconformist. This will always lead to a further break down and regrouping of what is "deemed" right in the eyes of some "invisible" ruling BDSM tribunal. I hope I made a little sense. Cheers, Vince .

Seniorwolf -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 10:46:16 AM)
quote: As long as a BDSM activity is between (or among) fully-informed and consenting people of legal age and with the mental capacity to understand what they are consenting to, and as long as the activity does not physically or mentally harm other living beings I agree with you Poetry but what is in question here is the "mental" capacity of the individual. Do we consider suicidal tendencies to be a fetish? If someone said, "Poetry, could you help me with my suicide play?", "I have a loaded pistol and all you have to do is pull the trigger." Lets flip the script, "I want to become an amputee!" "Please help me cit my legs off at the knee!" Now, do you think this person has thought the whole act through? Did they take into consideration if their medical will cover their life expenses once the act is commited? How about, who will take care of them once they are disabled? This is one of those gray areas where fantasy goes south. It is ok to roleplay, in my book, being an amputee but beyond that, I would have to seriously doubt the person's mental faculties. But this is my opinion and nothing more.

kyraofMists -> RE: BDSM Activities: YKINOK (4/21/2008 10:48:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble My questions: What BDSM activities are always wrong .. not for just for you but for anyone? Why? Is there an activitiy within BDSM which if engaged in by someone you would believe them to need mental health therapy? Would you deem a dominant who engages in the activity to be automatically abusive despite the consent? If someone were engaging in a practice which you deem is wrong for them, would you point this out online? In person? Would you consider someone calling YKINOK to be wearing a BDSM Police Badge and is it okay for someone to wear that badge? For me it isn't about activities that are wrong but the motivation for performing those activities. If a top does something that they know will intentionally harm the other person, then I think that is wrong. If a bottom requests a top to do something that they know will harm them, then I think that is wrong. Since harm is so subjective, it has to be taken on a case by case basis. Like MadRabbit said, the same activity can have different consequences for people. (This is in regards to play and not life or death situations) I would not automatically place the fault for that on the top either. Both bottom and top have a responsibility in the play. Whether I point this out depends on how well I know the person. It is difficult to have a reasonable idea that the person is being harmed if you don't know them. There is someone I know that I think uses SM in an unhealthy way; it is used as a way to hide from their issues and not deal with them (this perception is gained from face to face knowledge of that person). I think most activities that person engages in is unhealthy for them because the motivation is unhealthy and not the activity. I have expressed my concern, but it is their choice. Have to go back to work, so I don't have time to answer all your questions. Knight's Kyra

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