Is She Really a Male?

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anthrosub -> Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 2:42:49 PM)
I'm starting this thread to start what I hope will be a fresh discussion of my recent experience in contacting a member here who is listed as a Dominant female looking for a submissive male. I've long since settled on the outcome but after discussing the exchange with several Dominant friends and not telling any of them what the others concluded...and finding them all saying the same thing almost immediately...I wonder if I've not been the unwitting victim of somebody's little game. It may not matter if it's true but on the other hand, it's possible someone else is being hurt as a result. I sent an email to a member after reading her profile. The person lives in a very, very small town where I once lived. All my email contained was a compliment about how the profile came across to me and that I onced lived there. The first reply was positive and included a tastefully shot, nude photograph. Because of how the person wrote and how the picture didn't appear raunchy by any standard, I wasn't given to feeling shocked but simply surprised a bit. After two more rounds of emails back and forth, I received three more photos...all nude...and all full frontal shots in different poses. I was asked to describe the person in great detail from head to toe. This person has some obvious scars on her inner left thigh and inner right forearm. I thought this was her way of introducing me to the fact that she had scars or something; otherwise, I think I would have been curious why someone I don't know would send me so many nude photos so early in our exchange. In the next couple email rounds, this person gave me enough information so I know what business she owns, where she lives, what type of car she drives, and what type of boat she owns. After discussing all this and thinking it over, I'm beginning to think maybe this person is in fact a male and not only that, is trying to cause an ex-wife or girlfriend some embarrassment. What do you think? anthrosub

JohnWarren -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 3:10:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub In the next couple email rounds, this person gave me enough information so I know what business she owns, where she lives, what type of car she drives, and what type of boat she owns. After discussing all this and thinking it over, I'm beginning to think maybe this person is in fact a male and not only that, is trying to cause an ex-wife or girlfriend some embarrassment. What do you think? anthrosub It's not impossible. In fact there is a name for this sort of con. It's called a "Joe Job:" named for the first recorded victim. If you feel "she might be the one" I'd say a phone call would be in order... with YOU looking up the number.

dekley -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 3:18:31 PM)
anthro... You're concerns remind me of a Peanuts comic strip from a few years back. Snoopy was sitting at a computer, and Charlie Brown came up and asked him what he was doing. He replied that he was chatting on the Internet. Charlie Brown said something to the effect, "Who'd want to chat with a dog on the Internet?" Snoopy replied, "On the Internet, noone knows you're a dog." Seems to me that your concerns are valid and are certainly a real possibility. dekley

luvdragonx -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 3:47:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dekley anthro... You're concerns remind me of a Peanuts comic strip from a few years back. Snoopy was sitting at a computer, and Charlie Brown came up and asked him what he was doing. He replied that he was chatting on the Internet. Charlie Brown said something to the effect, "Who'd want to chat with a dog on the Internet?" Snoopy replied, "On the Internet, noone knows you're a dog." Seems to me that your concerns are valid and are certainly a real possibility. dekley I thought that was Dilbert

dekley -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 4:28:12 PM)
quote: I thought that was Dilbert Could've been. The old memory ain't what it used to be. Maybe I'm just having a senior moment. [:(] dekley

Taik -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 4:30:47 PM)
Something similar to this was done in the movie "Closer"

AAkasha -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 4:42:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub I'm starting this thread to start what I hope will be a fresh discussion of my recent experience in contacting a member here who is listed as a Dominant female looking for a submissive male. I've long since settled on the outcome but after discussing the exchange with several Dominant friends and not telling any of them what the others concluded...and finding them all saying the same thing almost immediately...I wonder if I've not been the unwitting victim of somebody's little game. It may not matter if it's true but on the other hand, it's possible someone else is being hurt as a result. I sent an email to a member after reading her profile. The person lives in a very, very small town where I once lived. All my email contained was a compliment about how the profile came across to me and that I onced lived there. The first reply was positive and included a tastefully shot, nude photograph. Because of how the person wrote and how the picture didn't appear raunchy by any standard, I wasn't given to feeling shocked but simply surprised a bit. After two more rounds of emails back and forth, I received three more photos...all nude...and all full frontal shots in different poses. I was asked to describe the person in great detail from head to toe. This person has some obvious scars on her inner left thigh and inner right forearm. I thought this was her way of introducing me to the fact that she had scars or something; otherwise, I think I would have been curious why someone I don't know would send me so many nude photos so early in our exchange. In the next couple email rounds, this person gave me enough information so I know what business she owns, where she lives, what type of car she drives, and what type of boat she owns. After discussing all this and thinking it over, I'm beginning to think maybe this person is in fact a male and not only that, is trying to cause an ex-wife or girlfriend some embarrassment. What do you think? anthrosub Very well could be. Is this the same "woman" that blocked you recently? Akasha

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 4:51:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub I'm starting this thread to start what I hope will be a fresh discussion of my recent experience in contacting a member here who is listed as a Dominant female looking for a submissive male. I've long since settled on the outcome but <snip> What do you think? What do I think? I think...same story, different thread. My best advice is for you to let it go, antrosub, and move on to something positive. I do question why you feel the need to dwell on this particular situation. What could you possibly gain by this continued, and dragged out discussion, over a failed connection? Things didn't work out, and now you want excuses, or is it reasons for you to save face? I do believe that you should work to accept "rejection" (no matter how unpleasant it may feel), and you'll find it easier to move onto to finding what you seek. K

anthrosub -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 4:57:59 PM)
quote: Very well could be. Is this the same "woman" that blocked you recently? Akasha Yes and curiously, she's not been back here for nearly a week. I know that doesn't mean anything in and of itself but the reactions I got from my friends and the reasons they gave for thinking it's probably a male were pretty convincing. For one, the content of her text (aside from the pictures) was all visually based, imagery in words. Correct me if I'm wrong but this is not the focus of most females. Second, although she did ask some general questions, her focus seemed to narrow very quickly to a sexually based discussion. And lastly, a female is not likely to be divulging personal information to a stranger online. anthrosub

AAkasha -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:02:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub quote: Very well could be. Is this the same "woman" that blocked you recently? Akasha Yes and curiously, she's not been back here for nearly a week. I know that doesn't mean anything in and of itself but the reactions I got from my friends and the reasons they gave for thinking it's probably a male were pretty convincing. For one, the content of her text (aside from the pictures) was all visually based, imagery in words. Correct me if I'm wrong but this is not the focus of most females. Second, although she did ask some general questions, her focus seemed to narrow very quickly to a sexually based discussion. And lastly, a female is not likely to be divulging personal information to a stranger online. anthrosub In your other thread you seemed pretty taken by her. Did her visually-based tone or focus on physical things make her more attractive to you, or did you think it was weird? What about the emotional side -- where did the attraction develop, you said it seemed mutual. Did she seem sensitive? What aspects of her personality made you think she was a good catch? You obviously thought she was the cat's meow. Was the despite the maleness of her approach or because of it? Sometimes people (either gender) embellish when they are really into a person. She might have been hamming it up because she thought you liked her approach. If not, it was probably a guy. If that was the approach from day 1, almost certainly it was. Why no phone call early on to verify? That's the best way to avoid the drama. If "she" was perfectly happy sending naked pictures, a 15 minute call wouldn't be a problem. I assumed the "gender proof" call had taken place when all the personal info was shared. Is that not the case? Akasha

anthrosub -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:02:52 PM)
quote: What do I think? I think...same story, different thread. My best advice is for you to let it go, antrosub, and move on to something positive. I do question why you feel the need to dwell on this particular situation. What could you possibly gain by this continued, and dragged out discussion, over a failed connection? Things didn't work out, and now you want excuses, or is it reasons for you to save face? I do believe that you should work to accept "rejection" (no matter how unpleasant it may feel), and you'll find it easier to move onto to finding what you seek. K Please...enough with the psycho stuff. Okay? Thanks for your advice but this is really not at all where I'm coming from. For what it's worth, I'm genuinely thinking about what if the personal information I received was really hijacked by some spiteful former boyfriend or something. If that seems like a stretch to you, I'm sorry. anthrosub

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:10:40 PM)
I do understand why anthro is bringing this up from a different standpoint. I have had several boys talk to Me about the feeling that they are getting taken for a ride by other males on the internet. I don't relate to it, personally, but it is one reason why I am always ok with speaking on the phone in a rather quick manner. I know there are ways to trick on the phone also, and ways to even fool someone on webcam. Such is the way of the internet. But I believe it shows intent and honesty. anthro, I do recall you stating that part of your brief conrrespondence with this "Lady" included nude photos. And that surprised Me. I would not ever send nude photos to anyone, especially over the internet. I wondered at the time about a Domina who would do that. I can see where the scarring might have made you think that it was a preparation of some sort, but with your further info about the writer asking you for a complete description of what you were looking at, it does seem more and more like it could have been a male with some sort of perverted agenda. You will never know. We will never know. Just don't let it deter you from your search. Only each individual can decide if the exchange of nude photos, early on or later, is appropriate and something that is acceptable. It may or may not be a clue as the gender. I don't know of any Dominas who share such photos, but I am sure there are some who do choose to do so. As much as the boys seems to love this sort of thing, for those sincerely seeking, I would take it as a major red flag. I don't think it is the typical FemDom response.

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:11:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub Please...enough with the psycho stuff. Okay? Thanks for your advice but this is really not at all where I'm coming from. For what it's worth, I'm genuinely thinking about what if the personal information I received was really hijacked by some spiteful former boyfriend or something. If that seems like a stretch to you, I'm sorry. Ahhhh, I see now. You only want feedback when it's what you "want" to hear. If you post a question, or repeated questions, I think you should be prepared to get some answers that will agree with your take on things, but also prepare yourself to hear things that you don't want to hear, or accept. Really, if you ask for opinions...you're gonna get them. You know what they say about opinions...and.....[sm=lol.gif]. Everyone has one! K

anthrosub -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:20:14 PM)
quote: In your other thread you seemed pretty taken by her. Did her visually-based tone or focus on physical things make her more attractive to you, or did you think it was weird? What about the emotional side -- where did the attraction develop, you said it seemed mutual. Did she seem sensitive? What aspects of her personality made you think she was a good catch? You obviously thought she was the cat's meow. Was the despite the maleness of her approach or because of it? Sometimes people (either gender) embellish when they are really into a person. She might have been hamming it up because she thought you liked her approach. If not, it was probably a guy. If that was the approach from day 1, almost certainly it was. Why no phone call early on to verify? That's the best way to avoid the drama. If "she" was perfectly happy sending naked pictures, a 15 minute call wouldn't be a problem. I assumed the "gender proof" call had taken place when all the personal info was shared. Is that not the case? Akasha I've thought about this and actually, there was an inkling of this going through my head while we were communicating. What I mean is, I was taken by how her replies and the subject matter she introduced seemed to be hitting my buttons. You might say this distracted me from thinking clearly and I don't mind admitting it here online. At best, I was surprised that I'd be at the receiving end of such enticing discussion. In retrospect, the emotional attraction from her amounted only to her saying she was attracted to my intelligence (presumeably from the way I write). She also said she thought I was handsome. I would say the thing that was hitting me the most was what I perceived at the time to be unexpected sexual frankness. There was no phone call discussed and no numbers were given. Since it was still early in the exchange and she was sending me specific questions to answer (and asked me to send 10 of my own), I was assuming that would probably come next. I sent her my reply to her 20 questions on Friday before the weekend in question. I was at the point of considering asking her if we could talk by phone if her reply to those answers didn't suggest doing so. I mean, at the point of detail we were approaching, it seemed to make more sense to be talking instead of writing lengthly emails back and forth. anthrosub

JustaTop -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:22:12 PM)
Ask for a web cam session. That usually ends these games pretty fast.[;)]

LadyAngelika -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:26:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan What do I think? I think...same story, different thread. My best advice is for you to let it go, antrosub, and move on to something positive. I do question why you feel the need to dwell on this particular situation. What could you possibly gain by this continued, and dragged out discussion, over a failed connection? Actually, I'd say it is the same situation different angle. It seems to me that after some thought, Anthro has come back to once again diplomatically discuss something with us. I think this is a very different story, one that brings us food for thought. Thank you Anthro. To be honest FTopinMichigan, you are the one referring to the old thread, hence the one who is not able to move past that previous discussion. Why are you assuming he is sitting there all heartbroken? I see it more like a light bulb just went off over his head. Anthro is, afterall, a fairly intelligent man if you ever took the time to get to know him. You gave Anthro a little unsolicited advice so I'm going to throw a little your way ;-) You might want to stick with the OP and if the OP doesn't sit well with you, then move to the next thread. I have to say, and I'm not aiming this to you specifically, but I'm getting a little tired of Dommes pulling rank around here thinking they can come and dominate the men who post simply because they identify as submissive. I can understand telling a wanker to go fly a kite but to be honest, there is no reason to constantly harp on someone like Anthro who is a valued member of this online community. Keep on posting Anthro! And on the topic, I would say you might be onto something here. It was indeed done in the movie Closer as Taik pointed out. In fact, on the topic of making a voice connection, I agree with AAkasha though I would say we still have to keep our guard up slightly. A friend of mine was also tricked by a man, but this was for his own personal gain. She corresponded for months with a girl in a lesbian chat room and this girl ended up being a guy. He actually had a voice soft enough that he passed as a woman on the phone. I know a bisexual man who worked as a phone sex operator for a year, catering to men, as a woman. He passed no problem. He made a whack of cash too. Should we all become paranoid? I don’t think that is the answer. I think we just need be aware and keep our guard up slightly. Even when someone has the best intentions, there are always a few things they wish you would never see, be it love handles, a sorted past, a spouse or a penis ;-) - LA

AAkasha -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:30:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: anthrosub quote: In your other thread you seemed pretty taken by her. Did her visually-based tone or focus on physical things make her more attractive to you, or did you think it was weird? What about the emotional side -- where did the attraction develop, you said it seemed mutual. Did she seem sensitive? What aspects of her personality made you think she was a good catch? You obviously thought she was the cat's meow. Was the despite the maleness of her approach or because of it? Sometimes people (either gender) embellish when they are really into a person. She might have been hamming it up because she thought you liked her approach. If not, it was probably a guy. If that was the approach from day 1, almost certainly it was. Why no phone call early on to verify? That's the best way to avoid the drama. If "she" was perfectly happy sending naked pictures, a 15 minute call wouldn't be a problem. I assumed the "gender proof" call had taken place when all the personal info was shared. Is that not the case? Akasha I've thought about this and actually, there was an inkling of this going through my head while we were communicating. What I mean is, I was taken by how her replies and the subject matter she introduced seemed to be hitting my buttons. You might say this distracted me from thinking clearly and I don't mind admitting it here online. At best, I was surprised that I'd be at the receiving end of such enticing discussion. In retrospect, the emotional attraction from her amounted only to her saying she was attracted to my intelligence (presumeably from the way I write). She also said she thought I was handsome. I would say the thing that was hitting me the most was what I perceived at the time to be unexpected sexual frankness. There was no phone call discussed and no numbers were given. Since it was still early in the exchange and she was sending me specific questions to answer (and asked me to send 10 of my own), I was assuming that would probably come next. I sent her my reply to her 20 questions on Friday before the weekend in question. I was at the point of considering asking her if we could talk by phone if her reply to those answers didn't suggest doing so. I mean, at the point of detail we were approaching, it seemed to make more sense to be talking instead of writing lengthly emails back and forth. anthrosub The absolutely most risky thing a sub can do is compromise his common sense or not listen to warning bells because he wants so bad for the femdom to finally be what he was hoping for. So many good natured subs simply lower their standards or ignore warning flags because they are willing to compromise what they want because they feel the chances are so few and far between. You can't let yourself get emotionally attached to a person on the net before you are sure of their gender at the very least. And, do not let someone's compliments swoon you. The net is full of insincerity. This is how so many subs get ripped off (financially). Don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position by falling for things like complimenting you on your looks or intelligence. He or she got you hook, line and sinker. And note that women rarely, if ever, send nude pics after just meeting someone online. The more IMPORTANT question is -- would you have respect for a woman that did that? Seriously? Would you find that kind of behavior acceptable if you had 100 other femdoms to choose from? No, probably not. You'd probably "pass" on the poor judgment on her behalf or her loose sexual behavior. Your genitals probably told you otherwise. Listen to the right head. Akasha

JustaTop -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:30:17 PM)
And Anthro brings up some really good points. And him sharing his experiences may save others grief later on. That can't be a bad thing.

anthrosub -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:30:36 PM)
quote: Ahhhh, I see now. You only want feedback when it's what you "want" to hear. If you post a question, or repeated questions, I think you should be prepared to get some answers that will agree with your take on things, but also prepare yourself to hear things that you don't want to hear, or accept. Really, if you ask for opinions...you're gonna get them. You know what they say about opinions...and..... . Everyone has one! K No, actually I'm concerned if this person is actually someone's stolen identity. If you read my first post again, you may see this to be the point. Your take on the matter is pushing the discussion away from this consideration...that's all. I can see how that may seem to be wanting to hear what I want to hear but I assure you that's not the case. If this is in fact what happened, I'm also interested in learning a lesson or two about how to spot such things in the future; hence my discussion so far with AAkasha. Fair enough? anthrosub

anthrosub -> RE: Is She Really a Male? (10/11/2005 5:34:05 PM)
quote: Listen to the right head. Akasha Thanks. [:D] I think that sums it up but seriously all the rest of what you had to say is well taken. anthrosub

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