Do I fit in? (Full Version)

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clmcol -> Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:23:00 PM)

I'm a submissive male with a visual imparment.  Do I fit in to be pursued by a Domme or does my impairment scare them away?  I have been looking for a Domme for a very long time.  Not just on here, since I have only just signed up on this site not too long ago, but I have been pursuing a woman on other sites as well.  Yes I know if I had a pic in my profile I may have better chances, I'm just not ready to post a pic in the my profile just yet.  I am however willing to send one to a prospective Domme. 



midgetmafiosa -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:31:34 PM)

given that many dommes like to blindfold their subs during scenes, i would not expect your impairment to deter all women. i think it's just a matter of what it always comes down to: personal compatibility. your most compatible domme will likely be someone who can accept and work with your vision in creative ways!



ResidentSadist -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:41:24 PM)

I knew a blind male sub that had no problem interesting Dommes.
----------------------------------

A blind submissive story:
My friend came to town to visit for a few days and I took him and his leader dog to my local tack shop.  He went crazy when he saw the low prices of the clips, D rings, leather straps etc.  So he set this huge pile of stuff down to cash out and says “I’m making a new harness for my dog”.  The clerk looks at his T-shirt and cracks up saying “sure you are” …he didn’t know he was wearing a BDSM Bash T-shirt that said, “Got Toys”. 



theGuideGoddess -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:43:29 PM)

Sometimes, in life, we set our own limitations.  If you think you can, chances are you will.  If you think you can't, you are probably right and you won't.  Why do you think this impairment would devalue so much as to make you unattractive?  Perhaps you should search what is your gift rather than focusing on what is your impairment.  I am certain that there is at least one perfect match for everyone.....some where out there.
 
The Guiding Goddess



Poetryinpain -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:43:47 PM)

As a disabled person myself, I feel qualified to offer you some advice on this.

Don't let the disability define you. You are you - the impairment is a part of who you are, but it is not the whole of you. Present the best part of you - your abilities, your personality, your desire to be of service, whatever you think a Domme would most like to see in a sub. Once you make contact and establish that you have some common ground, you can then mention that your visual impairment exists.

It's kind of like looking for employment when you have a disability. You have to disclose it, but you need to choose the appropriate time to do so.

I might suggest, though, padding the profile a bit. You've pared down to the barest of essentials - a little more detail might be more attractive?

pip, best of luck in your search!



FangsNfeet -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:52:19 PM)

A blind or visual impaired submissive does not scare me. Infact, I'm intrigued by that extra amount of trust he/she is putting into that relationship. I also like the idea of never having to fool with blind folds again. Even the good brands tend to let in a peep hole or some light over time now and then.  



UncleNasty -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 9:57:53 PM)

None of us is perfect. Period. Sometimes our flaws can be our most endearing characterisitcs. And sometimes we spend a lot of time obsessed with hiding them (but don't tell anybody I said that).

There is someone out there that is perfect for you.

Uncle Nasty



clmcol -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 10:11:40 PM)

I want to thank all of you so far that have replied. Your advice and encouragement does help.  I'm glad their are people like yourselves in this lifestyle. I have also updated my profile in hopes that this will help some as well.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/21/2008 10:48:59 PM)

Do you find that it chases away vanilla women when you date? If so, it's likely that the trend would continue here. It's really going to depend on the person, what they're looking for and what you have to offer.

Master Fire



Stephann -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 12:11:47 AM)

Your profile is pretty barren.  Read the link in my signature on how to find a girl here; it's long, detailed, and can go a long way towards making your search easier.

Good luck,

Stephan



RavenMuse -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 3:28:24 AM)

People are people... whether they are Dom/me or sub they are still people... so for some, yes the visual restriction may well put them off.... others it won't. The only way to find out whether a particular person does or doesn't have a problem with it is to ask.



RavenMuse -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 3:29:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Poetryinpain
Don't let the disability define you. You are you - the impairment is a part of who you are, but it is not the whole of you. Present the best part of you - your abilities, your personality, your desire to be of service, whatever you think a Domme would most like to see in a sub. Once you make contact and establish that you have some common ground, you can then mention that your visual impairment exists.



EXCELLENT advice!



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 5:08:03 AM)

Hi. I'm a Dominant in a wheelchair and I've met a fair few of submissives with disabilities as well, also, I've met or spoken to Dommes/Doms. with different impairments. You'll fit in just fine, just remember that people in the lifestyle are just that-people so some may be put off by your disability but that -doesn't- mean everyone else will, cos they wont!.

Have fun and take your time to find the right one for you.



Prinsexx -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 7:02:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: clmcol

I'm a submissive male with a visual imparment.  Do I fit in to be pursued by a Domme or does my impairment scare them away?  I have been looking for a Domme for a very long time.  Not just on here, since I have only just signed up on this site not too long ago, but I have been pursuing a woman on other sites as well.  Yes I know if I had a pic in my profile I may have better chances, I'm just not ready to post a pic in the my profile just yet.  I am however willing to send one to a prospective Domme. 

To be honest? You'd think age, ethnicity and gender issues were an impairment the way those preoccupy so many......



lateralist1 -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 7:46:15 AM)

I think it all depends what you are looking for from the relationship.
If it's just to scene then I can't see a problem.
If your looking for TPE then it could be more of a problem bacause you are going to be more of a responsibility for a Domme.
However I believe that the type of relationship can change as the connection grows.
Just keep it honest and don't be afraid to emphasise how much you are capable of when talking to someone. Some people have some very strange ideas about how disability affects people.



gothicbisub -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 9:14:48 AM)

I can relate to your concept of "fitting in", but not from a disabilitly; though I have one. One small piece of advice I can offer, once I stopped thinking/worrying if I fit in and just went with the flow, many doors opened. I think the doors were not opening for me because I was concered with fitting in and not being myself and waiting for the person to come along, whom will accept me as I am. Best of luck to you.



chaosforge -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 10:52:30 AM)

[sm=2cents.gif] my little opinion would be; anyone looking for a "perfect" body hasn't figured out the bounderies between fantasy and reality.

the BDSM commune has all sorts of folk, fitting in will only be an issue if someone tried something illeagle.

just me- just phoenix



LilMissHaven -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 10:59:37 AM)

 [sm=dunno.gif]I didn't know I had to be perfect to make the "right" Master a good submissive.

Pretty screwed...considering I'm deaf.[sm=insane.gif]
I'm not making fun of you just the petty asses who don't deserve you or the potential you have within yourself to give to another being.

but then what do I know [;)]



domiguy -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 11:08:05 AM)

Dude have you checked out most of the dommes out here? Trust me, your blindness is a gift.

(No dommes were harmed in the making of this post...To aid in comforting the dommes on this site, and to keep Mod11 off of my ass... feel free to substitute domme for sub, Dom, switch or whatever floats your crap. However, we at Domiguy industries have been doing some extensive research to understand why the majority of the gash gobbling chicks on this site are so damn motherfucking hot)



LaTigresse -> RE: Do I fit in? (4/22/2008 12:08:04 PM)

DG, that is the best laugh I have had so far this week!

Edited to add........

I don't understand why anyone would think differently about a blind sub/slave. We all have our little quirks and differences. Some just seem to have bigger squick levels for different people.

Find someone that looks at it from a different point of view. Like DG said, sometimes a lack of sight might be a blessing. I have certainly had mornings I wish I could not see myself in the mirror, let alone someone else have to look. Similarly a lack of hearing, she would never cringe at my offkey singing and beg me to stop. Double amputee of the legs....no kneeling required. Etc etc etc........

Not everyone out here is looking for the negative stuff.



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