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have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:39:44 AM

tnkgrrl

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/7/2008
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i meet this guy online about 3 months ago. we chatted for 2 weeks and then met in person. it was amazing, incredible connection. we live rather far apart so meeting regularly isn't possible, we both knew that from the beginning.

fast forward. we talked online, on the phone, text messages daily for two months, then suddenly, poof. he's gone! my last contact with him was 3 weeks ago, he called me, it was a nice conversation, he was pretty stressed with work, but NOTHING to make me think it would be our last chat for ages.

so i have tried calling him, have emailed him, have tried everything i can to contact him. nothing. have i been dismissed? is there anything i can do besides cry over this?

thanks.

Post #: 1

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:42:52 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Have you met at all in real life?

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Post #: 2

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:43:38 AM

KyttynTheMynx

Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline

Stop crying. Seriously. Its not the end of the world. Life happens, people go away for different reasons, but from the looks of it, I personally would say, yea. He is saying it all, without saying a word by not calling you or emailing you back.

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Post #: 3

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:45:03 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tnkgrrl

i meet this guy online about 3 months ago. we chatted for 2 weeks and then met in person. it was amazing, incredible connection. we live rather far apart so meeting regularly isn't possible, we both knew that from the beginning.

fast forward. we talked online, on the phone, text messages daily for two months, then suddenly, poof. he's gone! my last contact with him was 3 weeks ago, he called me, it was a nice conversation, he was pretty stressed with work, but NOTHING to make me think it would be our last chat for ages.

so i have tried calling him, have emailed him, have tried everything i can to contact him. nothing. have i been dismissed? is there anything i can do besides cry over this?

thanks.

It seems they did meet.

Perhaps he has had a life-changing event happen in his life and he is not ready to share it with you. But yes,...no contact = move on.

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"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

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Post #: 4

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:47:30 AM

chyanna

Posts: 95
Joined: 11/3/2007
From: stafford, England
Status: offline

sweetie i know exactly how u feel its happened to me several times, my feelings on the matter which i bet people will not

agree on what i am about to say.......

Perhaps this Dom suddenly realised how close He was and how He felt and got a bit wary on how He was feeling

dont beat yourself up about it....There may be more of heartache before you meet the one who really touches your

soul. Every experience with a ~Dom take it as a learning curve, and whatever happens dont blame yourself; Just keep

a straight mind and carry on looking dont set your eyes on this one guy.......It took me 5 years before i found my Master

all the best
Chyanna
xxxx

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Post #: 5

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 6:48:28 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Have you met at all in real life?

she said they met in person

OP, i have been in your shoes many times before. some men simply don't know how to tell you "it's not going to work out between us ...you should find someone else". trust me, it's not you or your fault - it's him and his lack of communication skills. be glad it happened now and not after being collared by him.

*hugs*

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Post #: 6

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 7:29:02 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Many do not want to officially breakup. They don't like the drama and explanations. Often this happens because they had an experience with a crazy stalker person. Or they are a coward. Take your pick.

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Post #: 7

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 7:31:14 AM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

quote:

t

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Many do not want to officially breakup. They don't like the drama and explanations. Often this happens because they had an experience with a crazy stalker person. Or they are a coward. Take your pick.

Or they are married or attached to someone else - there's always that one.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 8

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 7:32:08 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

yes you have...

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Post #: 9

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 7:49:52 AM

Sirsinini

Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline

chyanna said it very well.
I was going though old emails and found this:
I know
>you are not slave, atleast not Mine, but you do have a slave heart
>and I will always own that piece of you in your head that will do
>anything to please Me........
I wanted closure to know if I really ever meant something to him other than being a slut f**k whore.

Some people dont have the same type of closure we so want. I opened an envelope and read, not expecting that response.
Closure for me was to focus, after I glued the envelope and buried it.

I received this from a close friend:
>>i believe men are wary of letting us in ...afraid that we will find that they have flaws...that >>they are human too. lol Especially dominant men....they are the 'protector'....the one in >>charge.

Dont cry any longer. The fasination,dance, whirlwind, crush is no longer there...
you deserve better. I did and I am never more grateful that he found me.

Many hugs tnkgrrl

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Post #: 10

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:03:52 AM

Wantstocontrolu

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/11/2008
Status: offline

Yes you been dumped

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Post #: 11

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:07:31 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

No contact tends to be a pretty good answer.

As others have written the how can be debated to death and cause useless emotions but in the end but try not to beat yourself up over the situation and when you can be more objective look back and see where you think there might have been a red flag or when things changed.

My first question would be meeting soon then not again does not sound like progress but something stalled even if you could not meet regularly both of you could meet after only two weeks for a relative stranger but one or both of you could not meet after 2 plus months of daily contact seems a little odd.

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Post #: 12

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:14:31 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

sounds to Me like a free time of sex from a married man.

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Post #: 13

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:16:06 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

sounds to Me like a free time of sex from a married man.

Sounds about right.... haha

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Post #: 14

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:18:58 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Apart from wondering why you ask a question you already know the answer to... I would suggest to you, though, that if you begin a relationship of any kind in which "meeting regularly isn't possible", you take a larger than average risk that exactly this will happen. If he meets somebody who is closer, more available, you'll be out the tailpipe.

A couple of other observations: if something really clicks, work, is great, there are always ways to meet regularly. All you have to do is want it - both! Then, you have been dumped, and you need to think about why this happened, and why you did not see it coming. He clearly wasn't as besotted with you as you are with him, and you need to figure out how you can recognize that, next time. Golden rule: if you've met, and you clicked, and there is no desire on both sides to make another meet possible, walk. Cuz you need to watch wat he does, not what he says.

(in reply to tnkgrrl)

Post #: 15

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:28:16 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

Sounds to me it's time to mend your heart strings and move on to someone who isn't going to drop off the face of the planet

. Good luck to you and remember he isn't worth your tears

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Post #: 16

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:31:31 AM

tnkgrrl

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline

thanks to the kind ones who tried to help and give some supportive advice. i think i am just gonna go and hide for awhile.

i do appreciate the advice.

(in reply to Daddyslilpookie)

Post #: 17

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:36:19 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

Girl:

He is playing you for a fool. If he does not respect your feelings enough to at least contact you, then that tells me he is probably married.
Don't feel bad about that because we have all been in the same boat at one time.
My advice is to block all contact with him, and send him an email to tell that will say, I have moved. No futher contact from me until I meet your entire family, wife included.

Regards, MissSCD

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Post #: 18

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 8:40:48 AM

OldBastardly1

Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline

I don't think he is playing her for a fool...he is just done.

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"You cannot make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?" -- Bob Moawad

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Post #: 19

RE: have i been dismissed? - 4/22/2008 9:03:35 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

silence is a form of communication.
this just happened to me, minus the meet that was suppose to happen this month. there was a point when my heart started to engage and i pulled back at that point. i feel like a veteran of online meeting, but even so i still get puzzled when they go poof. but then again, i did it myself once because i was afraid he was going to start groveling. i didn't disappear; i just stopped talking. not proud to say this, but i did do it.
it is helpful to pull back, regroup after an experience like this, but don't give up on finding what you want. it could just be around the next corner.

may we all find our bliss,
everhope

(in reply to OldBastardly1)

Post #: 20

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