RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls

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RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls - 4/23/2008 5:29:25 AM

camille65

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From: Austin Texas
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I've not read the responses so I may be repeating. Drama:The inability or unwillingness to work through problems. Keeping those problems in the forefront of everything, making them the focus of nearly every interaction again with the unwillingness to fix them. Enjoying the problems and the attention that comes with them, therefore adding to that unwillingness for real change. When it comes down to excuses. 'But that won't work for me' ' That has nothing to do with MY problem' 'I tried that once, didn't work' etc.

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RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls - 4/23/2008 5:33:46 AM

lanie38

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For me if someone is purposefully setting up a relationship to be emotionally disconnected and unnavailable when I need their support most then I'd simply assume that their interest lies in a purely sexual relationship with no emotional ties or intimacies...nothing wrong with that for some...but you clearly want something else, decide what you do want and seek it without settling...

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RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls - 5/11/2008 7:42:37 PM

Talthas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu

No Drama = Polite words for I do not want to deal with any of your issues like ex's kids, drug issues, financial issues, broken down vehicles, etc.

When I think of drama, I dont think of someone's need for help. "Dealing with issues" is a huge part of friendship and erotic love--of charity love. Finding someone you don't know, whose from a different background than you, beat up in a ditch and taking care of them--that's dealing with someone's issues.

When I think of drama, I think of someone who has developed a maladative interpersonal mechanism to seek out negative attention. Some people get attention in a way that doesn't serve them, creating problems and looking for ways to fight because it is their long held, cherished, and utterly destructive means of getting attention.

I agree with this opinion almost completely. It seems obvious that there are several different definitions of "drama" that are largely defined by the type of relationship the person is seeking. Someone only interested in a casual relationship is likely to see any problems that interfere with his or her pleasure as "drama," whereas someone who is emotionally committed may see "drama" as more of the maladaptive kind.

The thing in common is that someone who is engaging in "drama" however that's defined is essentially trying to get attention, whether warranted or unwarranted, without the other person's consent. The line at which a problem becomes "drama" therefore seems to be the line where a person stops being willing to consent to give attention. For some, there's no question that a real life problem would merit all the attention needed to solve the problem. For others, it's the opposite, and they're not willing to give attention to anything outside of their own desires.

So... is it "drama"? Depends on who's being asked. The answer they give may be very instructive as to the kind of person you're dealing with.

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RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls - 5/12/2008 3:23:33 AM

Owner4SexSlave

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The meaning of Drama can vary from person to person. At times it's not the words that we use that cause communication problems, it's the many different meanings a word has.

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RE: Drama: Definitions and pitfalls - 5/12/2008 8:39:27 AM

WillowRain

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Joined: 6/18/2006
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Sadly, this type comes in Dominant forms too. No accountability. Fluid rewriting of personal history. yadda yadda yadda.... yeah... shows up in lots of places, in bdsm and in nilla.

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