Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

All roads lead to BDSM.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> All roads lead to BDSM. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 10:54:57 AM   
Wolfsrealm


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
How deeply is the act and desire to be kinky embedded into us? Is it in everyone that exists?

I mean, yeah, you'll find tons of vanilla's who are opposed to the idea...but weren't most of us? Can't you easily state the theory that they've yet to meet the right person to influence them into entering The House of BDSM.

So is it possible to believe that through vanilla sex (for some), and through peoples' natural dominant and submissive tendencies...a version of a BDSM lifestyle is the end all be all for those who indulge and explore?

Essentially, is BDSM the final frontier for everyone who are actually open and comfortable in their sex lives? You know...on the day they give their kink a chance.

Just curious what you guys think.

-Master Damien
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 11:17:06 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I think it sounds like a load of hooey.  (Well, you DID ask).  You might as well state:  as soon as you meet the right person, you'll realize you are gay/lesbian/happy/angry/introverted/extroverted/whatever.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 11:25:46 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		i agree with Cali...after i figured out what 'hooey' meant. 

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 11:37:14 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Well I am going to ignore the 'natural dominant/submissive' statement.  After all, I don't include them in BDSM.
I don't believe in vanilla either - well unless its the flavour.
I do believe in levels of kinkiness.  After all, simple kissing can be a fetish and you don't have to be dominant/submissive or BDSM orientated to get off on that.
 
I don't agree all road lead to bdsm, more that everyone is just at a different level.
And thank the godz everyone is unique.
 
the.dark.


_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 12:02:39 PM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		"hooey" is another term for what is scooped out of a litter box.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 12:03:05 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Noun
hooey
  1. (slang) silly talk or writing; nonsense.


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 12:32:35 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Nope, I dont believe it for a second. I think that sex starts with the mind and before someone can really enjoy sex they first must enter a headspace where they are not looking at the world around them but instead they look within.  People in vanilla sex I think turn there minds inward using long forplays that involve intimate conversations or other complex rituals however people involved with Tantric or BDSM do the same thing however they have a faster route to it. I believe that people involved with different lifestyle have a tendency to be overly distracted with daily life for the most part and the way we do things focus there attention.  After that I think its a matter of association where the biology says I have to O in order to be successful and the subconcious pulls what works the quickest so to speak and a form of addiction to all the hormones in the brain forms as a result life bad O good... so lets have an O to clean out the stress to a degree. Create stress ---- need play to get rid of stress --- do the play --- strengthen the asociation. I think bdsm works in a way because you are more worried about getting hurt then wether or not your bills are paid. So I think people can get the same results using Tantric / Vanilla / BDSM however its a matter of how deeply you want to go and how fast you want to get there.

As far as kink being engrained in us... yeah it is. I think some people are born with a natural tendency to use sex for purposes of expressing inner feelings that are normaly expressed in other ways.... One persons afternoon of hang gliding is another persons day to get pissed on and fisted.

The end all??? yes and no.  You can find a great deal of escape in what it is that we do however sex is a thing of the mind and control / submisive type stuff is a quick route because someone else is controlling the mind fuck or a person is able to control someone ellses mind fuck to get it where it needs to be however I think the mind is a very vast territory and limiting one school of thought to just this lifestyle can be limiting.  I view it as a phillosophy of pleasure and the more you learn from all the different viewpoints and ideas the better chance you have of incorporating a greater hedonistic diversity within your life and improve your self sense of being and become less dependent on the world around you for an emotional sense of belonging and with greater diversity comes greater levels of enlightenment and seperation from biological and spiritual. experiences.... so I dont think its the end all be all but rather the shortest route to the nonspecific.  

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 3:00:31 PM   
OnyxDelphi


Posts: 138
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I was merely asking for the sake of conversation, thank you.

< Message edited by OnyxDelphi -- 4/22/2008 3:02:26 PM >

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 3:04:51 PM   
OnyxDelphi


Posts: 138
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Also...I have no problem with the word phooey. =P

< Message edited by OnyxDelphi -- 4/22/2008 3:08:02 PM >

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 3:07:13 PM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry..... I get long winded... terrible without spell check...LOL

(in reply to OnyxDelphi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 3:10:11 PM   
Wolfsrealm


Posts: 36
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Nope, I dont believe it for a second. I think that sex starts with the mind and before someone can really enjoy sex they first must enter a headspace where they are not looking at the world around them but instead they look within.  People in vanilla sex I think turn there minds inward using long forplays that involve intimate conversations or other complex rituals however people involved with Tantric or BDSM do the same thing however they have a faster route to it. I believe that people involved with different lifestyle have a tendency to be overly distracted with daily life for the most part and the way we do things focus there attention.  After that I think its a matter of association where the biology says I have to O in order to be successful and the subconcious pulls what works the quickest so to speak and a form of addiction to all the hormones in the brain forms as a result life bad O good... so lets have an O to clean out the stress to a degree. Create stress ---- need play to get rid of stress --- do the play --- strengthen the asociation. I think bdsm works in a way because you are more worried about getting hurt then wether or not your bills are paid. So I think people can get the same results using Tantric / Vanilla / BDSM however its a matter of how deeply you want to go and how fast you want to get there.

As far as kink being engrained in us... yeah it is. I think some people are born with a natural tendency to use sex for purposes of expressing inner feelings that are normaly expressed in other ways.... One persons afternoon of hang gliding is another persons day to get pissed on and fisted.

The end all??? yes and no.  You can find a great deal of escape in what it is that we do however sex is a thing of the mind and control / submisive type stuff is a quick route because someone else is controlling the mind fuck or a person is able to control someone ellses mind fuck to get it where it needs to be however I think the mind is a very vast territory and limiting one school of thought to just this lifestyle can be limiting.  I view it as a phillosophy of pleasure and the more you learn from all the different viewpoints and ideas the better chance you have of incorporating a greater hedonistic diversity within your life and improve your self sense of being and become less dependent on the world around you for an emotional sense of belonging and with greater diversity comes greater levels of enlightenment and seperation from biological and spiritual. experiences.... so I dont think its the end all be all but rather the shortest route to the nonspecific.  


Well thank you. That makes absolute sense.

quote:


Sorry..... I get long winded... terrible without spell check...LOL


lol! Never a problem.

_____________________________

No matter how dark the woods may get, no matter how deep you may go, never forget, Little Red, that I am always with you. Always watching. Always close.

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 5:04:14 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Okay Damien, so as soon as you meet the right Gay Dom, you'll become a gay slave? Right?

Puh-lease!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Wolfsrealm)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 5:07:11 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I tend to believe that everyone has some kink in them. Whether they know it or not.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Wolfsrealm)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 5:33:50 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I tend to believe that everyone has some kink in them. Whether they know it or not.


Like these two?

http://www.break.com/index/cute-girlfriend-gives-good-headache.html
http://www.break.com/index/guy-gets-revenge-on-girlfriend-for-headache.html

P.S.  Good to see you to Level, old buddy!


_____________________________

Oppressed by massive structural violence.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 5:38:52 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I tend to believe that everyone has some kink in them. Whether they know it or not.


Like these two?

http://www.break.com/index/cute-girlfriend-gives-good-headache.html
http://www.break.com/index/guy-gets-revenge-on-girlfriend-for-headache.html

P.S.  Good to see you to Level, old buddy!



LOL
 
The guy was waaaaay more understanding than I would have been (but she did have a terrific ass, didn't she?).

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to pollux)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 6:06:18 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		No. There are people that are damn near asexual.

_____________________________



(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 6:07:27 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		I second that notion, one of my best friends I swear is asextual, her lifes ambition is to be a spinster and get people to leave her alone about ever having a relationship.

_____________________________

Reality and I had a fundamental differing of opinions. We're currently undergoing trial separation.

Rafters Resident ^_^v

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 6:27:01 PM   
pyrobabe


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Lots of people are opposed to things that they know nothing about... One example that I can think of is anal sex. I used to be 110% against anal sex, but once I found the right person it was great. I think a lot of it has to do with getting society's views (friends & family etc) out of your head long enough for certain people to really let themselves go and be free to do whatever makes them happy. Example "The good christian girl that thinks its a sin to sleep with another women because of the bible, but is secretly atracted to them.

I agree with wolf. "It takes the right person to explore your kinks with, but said person has to be willing to go there first."

For some people it may take someone else to push them into doing something before they realize it is there kink.


(in reply to KCherry)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 6:56:52 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KCherry

I second that notion, one of my best friends I swear is asextual, her lifes ambition is to be a spinster and get people to leave her alone about ever having a relationship.


Maybe she has a kink she is deeply ashamed of, or afraid of, and that's her way of trying to block it out.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to KCherry)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: All roads lead to BDSM. - 4/22/2008 7:15:15 PM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: pollux

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I tend to believe that everyone has some kink in them. Whether they know it or not.


Like these two?

http://www.break.com/index/cute-girlfriend-gives-good-headache.html
http://www.break.com/index/guy-gets-revenge-on-girlfriend-for-headache.html

P.S.  Good to see you to Level, old buddy!



LOL
 
The guy was waaaaay more understanding than I would have been (but she did have a terrific ass, didn't she?).


Most def.  That second video was HOT.  I love the slo-mo...


_____________________________

Oppressed by massive structural violence.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> All roads lead to BDSM. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109