RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (Full Version)

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theRose4U -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/16/2005 6:29:36 PM)

quote:

Got into a fight with my friend because she is holding back information I need to help protect her.

I'm to a point where I can't do this alone, anymore. And every venue I turn to for help, seems to just shut another door. I feel like I'm the only one taking this serious.


While I think I understand things to this point I guess I don't understand why YOU are more involved in her protection than she is? I am all for being a good friend/ protector but SHE will have to have the strength to protect herself should something negative come about. Also agree with poster earlier with points of dogs only being deterrant. Unfortunatly having worked in animal rescue too many years I have had to help in situations where men like you are discussing have attacked and/or killed the animals before turning on the owners. I know that my large dogs have made people think twice about approaching me in an agressive manner but I would never solely depend on them to protect me from a lunatic.



candigirlll -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/16/2005 6:37:51 PM)

i have watched and been involed in rape scenes and sences in edge play where no is used...you can say what you will and have your opinion.. i think if someone says they are a heavy player... then they should be that... i am glad i am NOT a Dom who has to deal with that kinda stuff.. because i would NEVER wana touch a female in hard core play... LOTS of females use the word no in rape scene or heavy play... but they also know they have a safe word.. i am a VERY heavy player and i LOVE edge play but i have NEVER not once NEVER been so scared of my partner that i could not say my safe word i think that is a cop out for oh i lied i have never really done those things.. and they just looked good in the typed word...



QuietMaster4u -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 5:26:25 PM)

I'm involved because I said I would.

The general attitude from the local agencies, is that this is typical internet hoax going on. That our chain is being yanked by some teens with too much time on their hands.

My friend is freaked out and too busy being scared. I found out the other night that she was raped previously. Nobody was there for her, and had to go through the ordeal alone. She is letting that drive her decision making process now. How many of us could act or behave rationally when we are that scared? I'm generally freeze and can't move or yell, to save myself.

I'm hoping that by continuing to talk with him... I can learn more about him.

I'll keep updating as I learn more, or this comes to an end... preferably a happy one.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 5:32:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietMaster4

I'm hoping that by continuing to talk with him... I can learn more about him.

I'll keep updating as I learn more, or this comes to an end... preferably a happy one.

Why the hell continue to learn about him and drag on the drama?

Cut all ties, count your blessings if nothing further happens and help the chick get ahold of herself and learn good confidence and solid life coping skills.

Continuing contact with him is the LAST thing I'd do...in fact it's not even the last thing I would do, it's something I WOULD NOT do.



QuietMaster4u -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 5:43:59 PM)

My instincts tell me this guy will not go away, until one of two things happen.

1) He finally gets my friend, and has his way with her. Or 2) There becomes enough information for the police, sheriff, or state police to act upon.

It has been my experience, that if these people are serious in their attentions. Cutting communication with them does nothing to deter them. Just blinds you to when they will strike.

If even, he does lose interest and leaves her alone. That just means another, will become his target and they may not be aware. Of just how bad it will be...

If you can live with that possibility... then I have few words to say to any of you.



FLButtSlut -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 6:16:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietMaster4u

My instincts tell me this guy will not go away, until one of two things happen.

1) He finally gets my friend, and has his way with her. Or 2) There becomes enough information for the police, sheriff, or state police to act upon.

It has been my experience, that if these people are serious in their attentions. Cutting communication with them does nothing to deter them. Just blinds you to when they will strike.

If even, he does lose interest and leaves her alone. That just means another, will become his target and they may not be aware. Of just how bad it will be...

If you can live with that possibility... then I have few words to say to any of you.


There are a lot of things going on here, obviously. First of all, not many take the position that you do that someone has to protect "others" from people like this. Kind of like those who don't want to report child abusers because "it isn't their business". When a weaker part of society, not necessarily women, but your friend because of her prior experience or someone new to the lifestyle without much knowledge, is in danger, they are not always able to protect themselves. Sadly, we live in a society where a man can brutally attack a woman on a public street and most people just turn their heads and walk away because they don't want to get involved.

Be PROUD of you strength and courage to protect those who, for whatever reason, are unable to protect themselves. Not everyone has that courage and strength and some will "mask" their lack of that ability in the "not my business" or "stay out of it" attitude.

It is always wise to be very careful in your dealings with a suspected predator because they may be slyer than you. Urge your friend to get into a rape counseling group to help her confront her issues with what happened and always support her in it not being her fault.

I, for one, commend you in your quest to stop someone else from being hurt.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 8:42:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
First of all, not many take the position that you do that someone has to protect "others" from people like this. Kind of like those who don't want to report child abusers because "it isn't their business". When a weaker part of society, not necessarily women, but your friend because of her prior experience or someone new to the lifestyle without much knowledge, is in danger, they are not always able to protect themselves. Sadly, we live in a society where a man can brutally attack a woman on a public street and most people just turn their heads and walk away because they don't want to get involved.

Frankly, IMO this is a COMPLETELY different situation. This person has yet to do anything WRONG. He has been reported, actions have been made, and if you read my original reports, I suggested that they do those things.

But this person hasn't attacked anyone that we know of, we have nothing to go on but cyber drama. And now that they have taken what actual real-life actions they can take, they are continuing the online gossip drama rathar than shutting it down while they have a chance.
quote:


Be PROUD of you strength and courage to protect those who, for whatever reason, are unable to protect themselves.

What exactly has this woman had to be protected FROM so far? What message are we saying to her that she needs to be so copletely scared to death from what's happened so far? How on earth has this woman survived as long?

I'm sympathetic, and as I've said before, real life stalking is never a thing to take lightly. But instead of taking control of the situation, I think you're feeding into the fear. Instead of making sure she gets real confidence and helping her move beyond it, you're just keeping her in the situation.
quote:


Not everyone has that courage and strength and some will "mask" their lack of that ability in the "not my business" or "stay out of it" attitude.

Frankly mt advice was- take care of your business. Until you take care of your own business, you've no mind to be messing with others. He's apparently got a mess of a woman on his hands, and he's off playing hero rather than dealing with the concrete issues in front of him.

quote:

I, for one, commend you in your quest to stop someone else from being hurt.

Yeah except as of yet nothing's actually been DONE to her. I think reactions to this are way out of proportion and are heading down a path to make them far worse than just dealing with the real actual situation at hand.



theRose4U -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 8:52:25 PM)

quote:

My friend is freaked out and too busy being scared. I found out the other night that she was raped previously. Nobody was there for her, and had to go through the ordeal alone. She is letting that drive her decision making process now. How many of us could act or behave rationally when we are that scared? I'm generally freeze and can't move or yell, to save myself.


Most local rape crisis centers offer free or low cost counseling.



Wolfie648 -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/17/2005 11:20:52 PM)

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietMaster4

I'm hoping that by continuing to talk with him... I can learn more about him.

I'll keep updating as I learn more, or this comes to an end... preferably a happy one.

Why the hell continue to learn about him and drag on the drama?

Cut all ties, count your blessings if nothing further happens and help the chick get ahold of herself and learn good confidence and solid life coping skills.

Continuing contact with him is the LAST thing I'd do...in fact it's not even the last thing I would do, it's something I WOULD NOT do.


She's right - cut it off. You are just feeding him - and he is laughing at you. If he keeps coming (after you cut off communication) like you think he will then do something like catch him on tape, voice recording etc. or just admit you are not capable of protecting her personally and hire a professional detective (I emphasize professional) to catch this guy on tape or surveillance - which would still be a way of protecting her.

D (owner of j)




FLButtSlut -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/18/2005 9:03:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Frankly, IMO this is a COMPLETELY different situation. This person has yet to do anything WRONG. He has been reported, actions have been made, and if you read my original reports, I suggested that they do those things.


It is interesting that you should take such personal offense to a comment that I made about no one in particular.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
But this person hasn't attacked anyone that we know of, we have nothing to go on but cyber drama. And now that they have taken what actual real-life actions they can take, they are continuing the online gossip drama rathar than shutting it down while they have a chance.


According to the OP, there is some evidence (from the police) that there has been criminal activity and perhaps some relationship to an unsolved crime. I have spoken in pretty general terms as to what can and should be done in a SITUATION such as this and stand by what I said. If someone were on line talking about how they would like to find someone to attack and murder, I would say that the comment warrants further investigation to determine whether or not it is nothing more than fantasy as well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
What exactly has this woman had to be protected FROM so far? What message are we saying to her that she needs to be so copletely scared to death from what's happened so far? How on earth has this woman survived as long?


This woman, whether it is justified or not is frightened. The "message" is that you don't simply write everything off as "cyber drama". Not everyone is a strong, confident human being who can handle unfamiliar situations. Her "survival" to date would only be relevant if she daily lived with such issues.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
I'm sympathetic, and as I've said before, real life stalking is never a thing to take lightly. But instead of taking control of the situation, I think you're feeding into the fear. Instead of making sure she gets real confidence and helping her move beyond it, you're just keeping her in the situation.


Offering advice on how her friend can help her, including getting her into rape counseling (now that he is more aware of things) is "feeding into her fear"? This woman needs help on several different levels, the counseling suggested is to help her move beyond what happened. "Real" confidence is not something you can just "get" at the corner store. Some people never develop that kind of confidence, and certainly making them seem like it is such an easy thing to aquire is less than helpful or realistic advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Frankly mt advice was- take care of your business. Until you take care of your own business, you've no mind to be messing with others. He's apparently got a mess of a woman on his hands, and he's off playing hero rather than dealing with the concrete issues in front of him.


This man is attempting to do both - help this woman, AND try to prevent future attacks. Some people take the concepts of criminal activity seriously and manage to take care of "their own" business at the same time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2
Yeah except as of yet nothing's actually been DONE to her. I think reactions to this are way out of proportion and are heading down a path to make them far worse than just dealing with the real actual situation at hand.


I'm not terribly surprised that you think the reactions are "out of proportion". Something has been "DONE" to this woman, he has been calling her, stopping by her house and harassing her and making her afraid. Not only that, but the OP is trying and hoping to prevent this person from doing this to ANYONE, not just her. Some people feel an obligation to do their part for society at large, not just as it personally relates to them. I commend people who feel that way, as they are seeking to achieve something that will help others. I have never thought that walking through life, selfishly only dealing with things that directly effect you individually was a great way to live, although it is how the bulk of society chooses to do things.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/18/2005 9:45:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
It is interesting that you should take such personal offense to a comment that I made about no one in particular.

Interesting that you infer a personal offense.

quote:

If someone were on line talking about how they would like to find someone to attack and murder, I would say that the comment warrants further investigation to determine whether or not it is nothing more than fantasy as well.

And for me it warrants clicking the "ignore" button and moving on with your life. Yes the information from the police is helpful, but IMO only so much to suggest that it's beyond any lovely vigilante ideas I might have on my own and that I should count myself grateful to be rid of the situation.

I'm not suggesting turn a blind eye to the awful things in the world and not take action when you can, but I'm also not suggesting we make mountains out of molehills, upturning people's lives with no good evidence or training. If I tried to track down every person who contacted me who has even likely done bad things or will in the future, I'd have no life of my own. This is why we HAVE trained police who use their calling and training in life to do exactly this sort of thing.


quote:


This woman, whether it is justified or not is frightened. The "message" is that you don't simply write everything off as "cyber drama". Not everyone is a strong, confident human being who can handle unfamiliar situations. Her "survival" to date would only be relevant if she daily lived with such issues.

I simply don't see how continuing to communicate with this person is going to help her gain a sense of confidence and closure.

quote:


Offering advice on how her friend can help her, including getting her into rape counseling (now that he is more aware of things) is "feeding into her fear"?

No, continuing talking with this person and having him be a part of her life and building suspicions will feed into the fear.

We've all suggested she get help, I think that's the good way to go here.

quote:

"Real" confidence is not something you can just "get" at the corner store. Some people never develop that kind of confidence, and certainly making them seem like it is such an easy thing to aquire is less than helpful or realistic advice.

That part isn't easy. The part where you cut the guy off is.

quote:


This man is attempting to do both - help this woman, AND try to prevent future attacks. Some people take the concepts of criminal activity seriously and manage to take care of "their own" business at the same time.

And in the meantime this woman has no sense of security, no sense of progress, only drama and fear and big messiness on what I consider extremely little evidence. If he wants to prevent future attacks in a seriously meaningful way (other than the good work he's done in reporting so far) then he should help at counseling centers. IMO that's far more meaningful and productive than what he's endeavoring to do here.

quote:

I commend people who feel that way, as they are seeking to achieve something that will help others. I have never thought that walking through life, selfishly only dealing with things that directly effect you individually was a great way to live, although it is how the bulk of society chooses to do things.

This is not an either/or situation here. People are not all selfish or all giving. No one here is suggesting we don't try and help situations when we can. No one is suggesting we turn a blind eye to real life issues.

But we have trained, dedicated people for this exact reason. There is so little to go on, and we must consider the other side- perhaps this man is completely innocent? Perhaps this is all just fear mongering and bad luck and vengeful ex's? It certainly has happened before that a man's rep is destroyed for no reason other than a woman's folly.

In the meantime, the only thing that we know for sure is that this woman isn't being able to move on and deal with this confidently.



windchymes -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/18/2005 2:44:34 PM)

I'm wondering why, if she is so frozen and paralyzed with fear, why she "agreed" to meet and met with, one on one, one of the men she is supposedly so terrified of?

I think he's toying with both of you, and enjoying all the attention he's getting. And he's probably laughing hysterically at the turmoil he's gotten you into.

I'm not saying there isn't any true threat here, there very well may be. But think about it logically. He broadcasts the threat of kidnap and rape, even gives a specific date and time. THEN, he actually meets with you and gives information about himself to the person who is valiently trying to protect her. He can't possibly not know you're going to the police. If the authorities are "investigating" as they supposedly say they are, wouldn't he lie low for awhile, knowing they are "onto" him? But no, he continues to call, leave threatening messages, send his henchmen to meet with her, he meets with you and gives you information that supposedly could be used against him....it's really sounding like a big game to me.

I would think that if this guy truly meant to rape and/or harm this girl, he'd have done it by now. I think he's just enjoying a rollicking game of cat and mouse.

And if I truly felt threatened by a gang who planned to rape and beat me half to death, who knew where I lived and worked, I'd sure be finding a way to disappear for awhile...change the phone number, stay with a friend, have a friend escort me to and from work. I sure as hell wouldn't let myself be alone, and I sure as bloody hell wouldn't "meet" with them to talk about it!

Skeptically,
windchymes




QuietMaster4u -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/18/2005 10:11:08 PM)

First of all, I would like to thank the people that offered up their support - either through prayers or looking up web sites.

Second, to those that said run, hide, and cut off communications with this person. If we, or I had followed your advice. He would still be out there, free to terrorize anyone he/they set their sights on.

It was through communication with people around us, letting them know what was going on. That somebody recognized him and was able to give us an actual name. Which has lead to his return to custody, for violation of his parole. Which, was only possible to prove with the copies of our conversations. Without them, it would have been our word against his.

In closing...
I stand by my actions. They were the right steps for me, to take. I don't recommend everyone, to follow my example. I was willing to keep at it until, this person was brought to justice.



Aquariansub -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/19/2005 12:14:47 AM)

I applaude you for the stand that you made and actions you took...



JustaTop -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/19/2005 12:21:03 AM)

You can't save the world from the bad people out there.

All you can do is cover your own ass. If she is that freaked out, then she needs to let go of this crap and learn to protect herself. You cannot.

Get over your "white Knight " complex, and bend your actions towards seeing that she takes reasonable precautions-you have already seen you have no power to do any more than that.

Whoever this idiot is,he's obviously getting off on the fear he is creating in both of you-so quit feeding the jerk-and he'll look elsewhere for kicks.



SirSix72 -> RE: Sadist vs Stalker - (10/21/2005 9:02:43 PM)

I have to agree with you my friend this sounds like drama to me and this guy if feeding off of it....and this guy protecintg her does need to lose the white knoght in shining armor routine......if it wasI in his shoes I would bait this guy in the open and confront him......most run when you do this and if they dont well hmmmmm.....me being a warrior I know where he would end up lmao........I can offer this advice though like JustATop quit feeding into this guys game buddy...move on

Master Six



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