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Leonidas -> RE: what's expected? (7/20/2004 10:15:09 AM)
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Hello angel.
Just about anything can be expected of a slave. There are some interesting takes on this on the "skills of a female submissive" thread elsewhere on these boards. In your situation, it might be better to get the question of what you expect out of the way first. Just how would you intend or expect to be of service to a prospective master? Given that you are married, and intend to stay married, do you forsee being someone's sometime sexual slave? If so, would this be an illicit relationship, or would your husband know? Would you want to be of service in some other way? When you say "living with my slavery" I hope that you realize that you are conceptually reducing a complex, ongoing process (serving a master) to a thing (a noun). Many young women such as yourself say "my slavery" meaning the desire within them to be at the mercy of, and in service to, a master. It is nothing more than a desire. It is not unlike when people say that they are "in love" meaning that they have a certain feeling toward someone. As with genuine love, genuine slavery is really a process, not a feeling or a thing. It is that feeling that you have right now motivating you toward doing things every day that are in service to someone else, rather than being focused on your own ambitions and desires.
There is a saying that I am fond of. If you want him to be more masculine, be more feminine. If "your slavery" is the genuine desire to serve and please, you can find fulfillment of that desire in service to the man that you profess to love, no matter how "vanilla" he may be. It is often the case, as well, that if you show your man "your slavery" you may find that he will show you things that you have not seen as well.
The path that you are on, young slave girl, leads to you eventually fucking up or just plain working up enough justification in your mind to put an end to your marriage. I have seen this scenario play itself out more times than I can count over the years. If you do, in fact, have the heart of a slave girl, as opposed to being a woman who is just seeking the gratification of some sexual desire, the path that you need to take right now is one of open discussion with the man that you love of your needs, so that you can decide, together, whether the marriage that you have can survive. To do otherwise is to risk causing needless pain to someone that you profess to love out of your own need. It is hardly slave like.
I have given you the answers that I have because you indicated that you are a Gorean girl, or at least think you might be interested in that direction. You will get some other responses that are very different from different quarters of the community, I am sure.
Take care of yourself.
Leonidas
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