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RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 4/23/2008 10:21:08 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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quote:

The need, then, would be the extra stimulation. Some people cannot get off without more stimulation that stright sexual activity gives them. Some need lots of foreplay to get there, others need to be hurt, some need to be blindfolded. Its al a matter of stimulation and how your body registers and reacts to it.

not sexual for me. since sex is something i can not have... i have had to use pain as a form of release to feel alive.

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RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 4/23/2008 10:21:21 AM

UBERMUNSCHIST

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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

quote:

What would be the need of it though?

pain makes you feel alive. if you have ever had hot wax poured on you..that is an example of pain making you feel that you are alive. i have had sessions longer than a couple hours of wax poured. flogging is also another form that makes you feel alive especially after it is over.

Indeed it does!

However, for me it's not sexual. It is its own thing, and it is its own reason for manifesting.

I think that my fantasies of it in a sexual context have nothing to do with it in itself, but rather the TRUST behind it.

I learned a lot about my self today!

< Message edited by UBERMUNSCHIST -- 4/23/2008 10:52:22 AM >

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RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 4/23/2008 10:46:02 AM

DesFIP

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It's only a paraphilia if it's a problem. If it interferes with your life.
Classic example being a fetishist who needs the woman to be in high heels to have sexual arousal. Paraphilia if he can't get to work because he's standing in front of a shoe store staring at the heels in the window.

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Post #: 23

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 4/23/2008 11:24:25 AM

WestBayLoner

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I've given a bunch of thought to this one, as my sub tendencies are almost as strong as sexual orientation in the traditional sense. If I couldn't have sex with a man, I simply wouldn't have sex at all, but even in a vanilla context, my sexual pleasure is dependent on my partner's rather than my own – that side of my sexuality is so much a part of me that if some element of it couldn't be incorporated into it my sexual activities, I'd rather just not have sex at all.
So, however these things are officially classed, the two things feel very similar to me.

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Post #: 24

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 4/24/2008 12:22:08 PM

Devoura

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I'll have to agree a bit with WBL^. Though, my orientation as a submissive and to a lesser extent, as a masochist, is far stronger than my attraction to any sex. Sex, in itself, does almost nothing for me. Being dominated and hurt turn me on regardless of the top's gender. So, while your orientation as a submissive or Dominant may not be a 'sexual orientation' in the traditional sense, it holds way more importance (for me, of course) than gender attraction.

"Sexual Orientation: A sexual preference or choice that determines whether one chooses a member of the same or the opposite sex, or both, for sexual satisfaction."

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Post #: 25

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/3/2009 7:24:03 PM

ResidentSadist

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Being very familiar with the definitions of sadomasochism, which is a paraphilia, I have never seen “having a problem” associated with the defining parameters of being a sadomasochist? Paraphilias by my understanding simply refers to “unusual sexual practices” and/or the “obsession with”. I have never seen the difference between paraphilia and fetish defined as when it becomes a problem. Can you post a reference please?

“The view of paraphilias as disorders is not universal.”
-Charles Moser
Ref: wikipedia link

“a type of mental disorder characterized by a preference for or obsession with unusual sexual practices, as pedophilia, sadomasochism, or exhibitionism.”
-Random House Unabridged Dictionary
Sorry about the necro but I just noticed this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It's only a paraphilia if it's a problem. If it interferes with your life.
Classic example being a fetishist who needs the woman to be in high heels to have sexual arousal. Paraphilia if he can't get to work because he's standing in front of a shoe store staring at the heels in the window.

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Post #: 26

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/3/2009 8:38:09 PM

MidMichCowboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UBERMUNSCHIST
If I can no longer "get off" without pain, what would that be?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

My idea of a good time?

Cali

I just love that woman.

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Post #: 27

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/3/2009 8:51:36 PM

YoursMistress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

yes...your gay if you wear womens panties

Jeez, now I'm confused too. So, if I'm gay and I like women, does that make me a lesbian? I'm gonna need some new shoes.

yours

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Post #: 28

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/4/2009 12:49:36 AM

BondageBarbieX

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Sexual orientation is about gay,straight,bi .You have a pain fetish... algolagnia... and it is sexual gratification derived from inflicting or experiencing pain.

< Message edited by BondageBarbieX -- 1/4/2009 12:51:48 AM >

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Post #: 29

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/4/2009 8:51:37 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Sexual orientation has more to do w th whom your chose as partners, not what you do as actions.
Your orientation is Gay, straight, bisexual, polysexual, so on so forth.
If you are a masochist who cannot get off without pain, that is a need , but not an orientation. If you are a straight masochist, you will not get off if someone of the same gender is beating you. If you are a gay masochist, you wont get off if someone of the opposite gender is the giver of pain.

My view, at least.
DV

I like this descriptions and it is actually why I say my sexual orientation is dominant with a touch of sadism. I don't choose partners based on their gender or sex but on whether or not we connect on a Ds level. I have found female partners as interesting as male partners if they have the same submissive and personality traits that I find attractive.

Or to sum up: I find geeky, strong submissives who are androgynous most attractive.

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Post #: 30

RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/5/2009 3:53:34 AM

accipitres

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Being very familiar with the definitions of sadomasochism, which is a paraphilia, I have never seen “having a problem” associated with the defining parameters of being a sadomasochist?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual says :
Paraphilias all have in common distressing and repetitive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. These fantasies, urges, or behaviors must occur for a significant period of time and must interfere with either satisfactory sexual relations or everyday functioning if the diagnosis is to be made. There is also a sense of distress within these individuals. In other words, they typically recognize the symptoms as negatively impacting their life but feel as if they are unable to control them.

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RE: A Sexual Orientation? - 1/5/2009 5:12:08 AM

JustDarkness

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No wonder people think BDSm is a weird thing...all the nice stuff have names as diseases.

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Post #: 32