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Critique? - 4/23/2008 7:44:19 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
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I wrote a story tonight about a Domme and her submissive boy, entitled, 'Live', in P&RS.

It's not a short story

Roughly 5000 words or so.

I would like to invite Dommes to read the story and offer their viewpoint - the better to see whether I made the story capture an element that a Domme would appreciate. Any thoughts, opinions, criticisms are appreciated.

*slips out the back door*

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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RE: Critique? - 4/23/2008 7:46:14 PM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I would love to read it!

Ms. Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to Lumus)

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RE: Critique? - 4/23/2008 7:59:33 PM

LadyRainfire

Posts: 6040
Joined: 2/20/2008
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Here is the direct thread if anyone is interested....

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1810147/tm.htm

_____________________________

"Desire is an insatiable beast. Sample your strongest dreams, and you will only crave more." ~ Master

~ one half of "L&L"~

My current state of mind

(in reply to MistressFaye1)

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RE: Critique? - 4/23/2008 9:23:32 PM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

Fabulous.

(in reply to LadyRainfire)

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