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my introduction - 10/12/2005 2:48:00 PM

submrman

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

Hello,

i am james, from california. i have no r/t experience, but do so enjoy researching this lifestyle. i find it fascinating to say the least, but extremely frightful with what i have read. i am finding that the "trust" part is ever so important and probably the biggest obstacle to overcome. why? well, i believe any responsible vanilla in this world does not want to risk himself/herself with something that is so life changing that they are very cautious and careful. well, at least that's what i am. i have had offers, but i can feel the trust not being there and therefore i do not submit. one question i do have that intrigues me, is the word "owned". from what i have researched, it's another word for "married". but in this case, the "couple" so to speak, may or may not have an open ownership/marriage? make sense? probably not. :-)

Anyways, say hello to me. i am someone who has no hidden intentions, but to make friends and chat about this interesting lifestyle..

sincerely,
james

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RE: my introduction - 10/13/2005 2:28:20 PM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

G'Day and Welcome james enjoy all you find on the site and read in the forums includeing the older ones as well and you will find answers to most of your questions but if not just ask as you will see replys will turn up

(in reply to submrman)

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RE: my introduction - 10/13/2005 7:34:42 PM

submrman

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

Thank You for the nice hello. i appreciate it..i am enjoying the site and will explore lot's of these posts..
sincerely,
james

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RE: my introduction - 10/15/2005 8:47:30 AM

Aussiedogg

Posts: 5
Joined: 8/14/2004
Status: offline

G'Day James

Trust is important in ANY formal relationship or casual for that matter and it doesnt happen over night. That is why you have a trial period which is known as training. Personally I believe that submissives are born not made. Passives do not surrender control, they have very specfic forms of pleasure they seek. You can not satisfy their insatiable needs and they tend to have multible partners because of this, even when they are meant to be in a closed relationship...generally speaking. What is the difference you ask...Passives get SERVICED and submissives SERVE! A submissive is usually into more than vanilla sex and is curious about exploring even more. They want to be taught and experience new sensations by the lead and hand of their DOM who is more creative than they are. When one surrenders control, they gain from the added thrill of not knowing in most cases what is coming...[how they will be used] This is the trust and bond that you read about and you should understand this developes over time. Submissive even though some sex activities are perceived as rough...do not come about by force or acts of violence. They are coached, trained with mental manipulation to willingly give of themself. It is passives who believe it takes force or violence to surrender control because they are only interested in what pleases themselves and not their partner. They play with Tops not DOM's and there is a big difference.

Next....Being OWNED a submissive committs to a lifestyle of sexual servitude...ying and yang still exist because they feed off one another. The user uses the submissive for his pleasure and the one being used derives pleasure from this. It sounds as if you believe there is no affection given and that is not the case. Affection is the bait or the reward given when a submissive gives of themself at a maxium level as a motivator. The submissive merely feels appreciated and wanted but is aware that they are replaceable if they dont meet the NEEDS of their Dom. Being OWNED should not be confused with the term LOVED...that is a romantic notion! To put it in simply terms...a submissive is co-dependent on the DOM for sexual stimulation/pleasure and the Dom controls by using this against their submissive. When a submissive reaches a point of total trust they may prefer entering into a complete life of servitude and ask the Dom to become their Master and be permitted/allowed to serve as a Slave.

Just remember...Dom's/Master's are not violence psycopaths that have no remorse for what they do! It is the Bonding/Trial period that the submissive comes to understand this and how trust is developed. The problem is on the net and especially in chatrooms individuals who are only playing at these roles...cybering for entertainment give this impression. A Dom or Master doesnt have to be in a uniform of Leather. A uniform does not maketh the man! Online as far as Im concerned...guys/women who are requesting to be called Sir or Mistress or dont correct you for this are fakes! You only use these term AFTER respect is earned during training or when you are owned Thats why you are confused, what you read and hear online is not always practiced in reality. Why should anyone believe a person is a DOM?MASTER?MISTRESS because they claim to be. Those who say they do it as a sign of respect are kidding themselves..respect is always given to those who earn it and when you choose a Master or Mistress why give that respect to everyone else if your not required to do so? How does this place your relationship above others if this term isnt reserved for your DOM/MASTER/MISTRESS?

[Of course this is only my generalized opinion...amd does not hold true for everyone]

Welcome, have fun and take things slow!

Aussiedogg

< Message edited by Aussiedogg -- 10/15/2005 9:17:17 AM >

(in reply to submrman)

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RE: my introduction - 10/15/2005 9:39:53 PM

submrman

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

Aussiedogg,

A-W-E-S-O-M-E advice! thanks You very much. I appreciate all the input from these posts, and i am learning more and more each day. i will take it slow, because that is the only speed i possess. Trust is the key..i really enjoyed Your definition and explanation of submissives. once again, thank You..
sincerely,
james

(in reply to Aussiedogg)

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