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True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 3:39:10 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Do you believe there is good submissive behind every good Dominant?

Sometimes, in my opinion, the submissives are looked upon as lesser, from what I hear and read here.

Are they? In my opinion "Hell No!"

A good submissive, makes me a better Dom and I have the utmost respect for that.

Now, that cliche about "there is good woman behind every man?"

That's manure.....unless, she's a sub?

Peace, Kevin




_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 3:41:58 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Do you believe there is good submissive behind every good Dominant?

No. But it takes a good sub and a good dom to make a good relationship.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 4:09:59 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		you always agree to disagree.....but thankyou for your opinion....even though I disagree!

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 4:40:41 PM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline 		Now this post is going to get me into trouble but what the hell. There is one thing I have observed in the lifestyle that is not talked about in a genral context and that is reputations. Most people strive for one especially if the are into scene real life and attend the functions. Somethings that I have seen done by people to get a reputation has made me shake my head in wonderment. Even Dom/mes acting nearly submissive to be seen with someone who has a big reputation in hopes they can bask there for a while. At this point I will hasten to add I have no idea what my reputation is, as I never deny or concur to anything I hear said about me. But then niether do I care what my reputaion is, the only person that I care what they think about me is my slave. And I have never chased a reputation and never will. But the point of this post is that to a degree I have noticed subs reputaions can depend on the Dom/me they are with. That is not say that a sub cannot get a reputaion on her own but I have seen extremely good subs who everyone wanted to identify with suddenly become a lepor when she/he seperates from the Dom/me who has the big reputation. Its a side of the lifestyle I do not like. Now Kevin as for your post I agree, for me, my slave (including all my ex's) made me the Dom I am, and for that I am eternily grateful to them.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 4:48:07 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Well, you should be. You in "around about way" answered the question...a good sub, makes you a better Dom, or a good one at the very least.
Now, as far as that reputation you brag about...must be the chili peppers?

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to WickedKev)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 5:53:08 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a Dom whether I have a Sub or not. I tend to be dominant in most of my day-to-day activities and more often I will lead rather than follow.

Now, I have to admit that having a good Sub has broadened my horizons and made me more aware of things. She has helped me enormously to be a better Dom in the BDSM world. If she left me today and I was alone I would still be a Dom, but I'd be a better one for having been with her. There's always different ways to look at things and I like to feel that I am who I am with or without a current Sub. My opinion, and worth just what you paid for it.......

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to fastlane)
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RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 5:53:56 PM   
denimknight


Posts: 38
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I've been thinking about this matter a lot as of late. Having done so and I've come to a conclusion that I'm sure will be contested by many, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

Slaves are actually superior to Masters/Mistress'

I've watched those who have been blessed with the heart of a slave and they have an impressive tendency to be among the most talented, skilled, dynamic, and driven people I know. I have a theory that slaves in general have the potential to excel far beyond most people, including dominants.

However, I believe that it may take the introduction of a truly skilled Master/Mistress for a slave to tap the full measure of their capabilities.

There is a kind of providence in this when you think about it. It makes a kind of cosmic sense that those who have the greatest degree of inborn ability are also predisposed to use their innate power to the benefit of others.

I have a suspicion that this may be why some dominants tend to sow weakness and dependency in their slaves as opposed to encouraging them to reach for the heights they are truly capable of.

But hey, I'm just throwin that out there.

Respectfully Submitted
dk

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 7:33:59 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Ya know Fastlane, I'm liking you more and more.

I think Dom and sub are symbiotic. We exist for each other and improve each other. I don't believe that either is worth more than the other. After all, one hand clapping is still a hand, but it makes no noise.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to denimknight)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 7:38:41 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think you stand or fall on your own merits.

Anything less is rather eeirly codependent, in my estimation.

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 8:21:20 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Fastlane:
quote:

A good submissive, makes me a better Dom


And what does a bad sub make you (do)?

<you know I'm joking, couldn't help it, and WickedKev, please, no words about chili peppers!>


(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 9:08:25 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedKev

Now this post is going to get me into trouble but what the hell. There is one thing I have observed in the lifestyle that is not talked about in a genral context and that is reputations. Most people strive for one especially if the are into scene real life and attend the functions. Somethings that I have seen done by people to get a reputation has made me shake my head in wonderment. Even Dom/mes acting nearly submissive to be seen with someone who has a big reputation in hopes they can bask there for a while. At this point I will hasten to add I have no idea what my reputation is, as I never deny or concur to anything I hear said about me. But then niether do I care what my reputaion is, the only person that I care what they think about me is my slave. And I have never chased a reputation and never will. But the point of this post is that to a degree I have noticed subs reputaions can depend on the Dom/me they are with. That is not say that a sub cannot get a reputaion on her own but I have seen extremely good subs who everyone wanted to identify with suddenly become a lepor when she/he seperates from the Dom/me who has the big reputation. Its a side of the lifestyle I do not like. Now Kevin as for your post I agree, for me, my slave (including all my ex's) made me the Dom I am, and for that I am eternily grateful to them.


Isn't that true in most "circles" though? When a vanilla couple separates, often one partner becomes a pariah. I think that speaks more for the "clique" nature of groups.

But I think I agree with Fastlane in the sense that in a good relationship, each party is made "better" by the other. Kind of how I have said that Libby's beauty is reflected in John Warren's eyes. They each made the other better.

(in reply to WickedKev)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 9:14:45 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
But I think I agree with Fastlane in the sense that in a good relationship, each party is made "better" by the other. Kind of how I have said that Libby's beauty is reflected in John Warren's eyes. They each made the other better.


Ah, but I had the easier part of the job... better raw material to start with


_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
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RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/12/2005 9:33:06 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLButtSlut
But I think I agree with Fastlane in the sense that in a good relationship, each party is made "better" by the other. Kind of how I have said that Libby's beauty is reflected in John Warren's eyes. They each made the other better.

Ah, but I had the easier part of the job... better raw material to start with

in a wonderful pas de deux, each partner supports and makes the other appear in the best light possible. the longer the parnership, the more the dance matures into a natural thing of beauty.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 6:14:39 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2


quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Do you believe there is good submissive behind every good Dominant?

No. But it takes a good sub and a good dom to make a good relationship.


I gotta agree with Em on this. A sub does not make me a good dom, I made me a good dom. I did that through self awareness, conscientiousness, and my own striving to be my personal best (a process that never ends). There have been a few subs and slaves in my life from time to time who have helped with that process, as well as a few other doms, masters, and one or three mistresses... or in other words, there have been good friends who have helped. But while they offered advice, observations and insights, it was alway I who did the work of improving who I was, applying what I learned. If you're looking for a sub to make you a good dom, what you're looking for is a crutch and while a submissive wants serve and please, no good submissive I have ever known wants to be a crutch.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 7:52:00 AM   
WickedKev


Posts: 305
Joined: 11/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Isn't that true in most "circles" though? When a vanilla couple separates, often one partner becomes a pariah. I think that speaks more for the "clique" nature of groups.

But I think I agree with Fastlane in the sense that in a good relationship, each party is made "better" by the other. Kind of how I have said that Libby's beauty is reflected in John Warren's eyes. They each made the other better.






Your probably right but I am such a sad person that I don't belong to any vanilla groups with the exception of work and family. And maybe it is my hope that we who are suppose to be accepting (Ok I've finished laughing now) do not need to play politics like that. A sub/slave or a Dom/me are the same people if they are with someone or not. If they are good they don't suddenly become bad just because they split with someone. I tend to keep out of arguements when people split and I never take sides, I just say you are both adults and can sort it out yourselves. Maybe I am just being unrealisitic.

Oh Fastlane I'll send you that recipe for the chili paste we talked about
Remember to apply liberally >;)

< Message edited by WickedKev -- 10/13/2005 7:58:29 AM >

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 9:14:53 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I think your statement implies there is a causal relationship but I think it is because of a self- selection process. The good folks tend to pair up so that's why you could say behind a good dominant is a good submissive. Similarly the goofballs pair up with other goofballs; after all, who else will have them? Ok, sometimes you'll get the good paired with a goofball because of a mistake, codependence or some other oddity, but otherwise such mismatched pairings don't last.

edited to add:
The wonderful thing, though, is that the goofballs will think their mates are great anyway. That's all that matters, I guess.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 10/13/2005 9:18:46 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 10:16:43 AM   
histrblmkr


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Do you believe there is good submissive behind every good Dominant?

Sometimes, in my opinion, the submissives are looked upon as lesser, from what I hear and read here.

Are they? In my opinion "Hell No!"

A good submissive, makes me a better Dom and I have the utmost respect for that.

Now, that cliche about "there is good woman behind every man?"

That's manure.....unless, she's a sub?

Peace, Kevin






Hello there.................I understand what you are trying to say but I don't totally agree with you. I believe each couple should compliment each other. I know my Master would be a great Master whether I whether I was a good submissive or not, that is his nature. He would however encourage me to do better. However I am behind him 110%, because that is what pleases him and pleasing him is what makes me happy. Does that make him better........NO.........just more content with us.
Before I met my Master I was master I was married to my former Master. We had been married for over 20 years........our relationship was great. I was the submissive that he wanted me to be and he was a great Master. I gave him my all and was behind him 110% as well. Then something happened........mid life, middle age crazy........don't know, but everything went to hell. I won't go into great details but after going through 5 years of watching him drink and do drugs and destroy himself and try to destroy me I had to let go. During those years I still gave him everything I had to try to make things right, but it never happened. So I guess what I'm trying to say is even though I was a good sub, he did not become a better dom.
So like I said before...........when you compliment each other, that's great, and even when you don't always do that it can still be good.
Just my .02
oh btw I think the cliche was "behind every successful man is a good woman"

linda






Attachment (1)

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 3:23:47 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		i agree, but its the same for The slave / sub . We excel best and are able to stand behind our Master/ Dom/ Domme, if He/She is a wonderful teacher / trainer / friend / and possibly lover. Its all give and take. If you Give of yourself , they will give themselves ten fold.
jenny

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 4:26:16 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I think Dom and sub are symbiotic. We exist for each other and improve each other. I don't believe that either is worth more than the other. After all, one hand clapping is still a hand, but it makes no noise.


I agree with you Oside. My relationship is very much like you describe yours. For some, maybe it's not that way, perhaps they are more interested in the short-term satisfaction of finding someone that is interested in a particular fetish, for example. If you asked me, you can only TRULY Dominate the person that wants to TRULY submit to you, whatever shape or form that power exchange may take.


--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: True Masters/Doms? - 10/13/2005 9:33:55 PM   
Soulhuntre


Posts: 223
Joined: 9/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Do you believe there is good submissive behind every good Dominant?


No. I don't.

While sometimes it may work out that way, I certainly don't think it is always that way.



< Message edited by Soulhuntre -- 10/14/2005 7:57:18 AM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 20
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