How long is your consideration period?

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How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:14:11 PM

MKred23

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I have two subs that I was already in relationships with, when the topic of dynamics shifting to include D/s.

Recently I have had a couple more under consideration.

Do most doms/domes have time frames for their consideration periods?

MK

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:17:44 PM

MistressKali1

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My consideration period varies depending on the location of the sub/slave. But usually I like things to get going within a month or so, otherwise I start to suspect it never will ...

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:38:12 PM

mypain56

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This is a hard one, because this is the first time i have ever been in consideration in all the years i have been out. i consider the real ones only do this type of thing. My Daddy has had me in consideration for months now, to be an owned submissive ? or to be an owned slave? i haven't a clue but He isn't one too be pushed into anything. He does things on His own accord. He'll say don't push, or don't rush things. Especially when He takes a certain tone with me. And i know when to shut up. So of course i drop it. Now with that said Daddy's weekly discipline is having me do essay's 1000 word minimum and He structures it on subjects like what is a Dominant vs. a Master, or what is a D/s dynamic, or what is a Daddy/Master/baby girl dynamic or Taken in Hand relationship. Total power exchange something that will allow me to gain knowledge in what He may or may not want for us. All i know at this point is, is that i truly love this man, and if He keeps me in consideration for a couple of years maybe more as long as were together and i keep Him happy with my service and don't push things, and continue to learn and gain knowledge then i haven't a right to wander. And 3 weeks ago he told me He loved me not that He was in love with me but that He loved me hey!!!!!!!

melly/srln:654-049-049

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:39:31 PM

OmegaG

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I agree that it depends on the situation. I have been "under consideration" since February, not because either of us are trying to make up our minds, but because my relocation can't happen until June and neither of us see the sense of a permanent collar until I actually live nearer to him and explore the dynamic changes that will happen at that time.

In no way do I feel that I'm being put on hold while he plays the field, if that were the case we wouldn't be working on this move, and he is taking an active role in it. But we are both cautious people and take the permanant collar very seriously. We will be seeing how our offspring interact, we will be seeing each other in every day life, not just the bi-weekend visits which we get to enjoy now. We are both optimistic that it will be just fine-- but both of us have too much realism in us to know that we haven't seen the entire picture yet.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:46:53 PM

derfrewop

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Six months or Six minutes. Either I think they can now or I think they will become right as the rough edges get knocked off. Any other answer means its time to break it off. You should know what you want and how to get it. Spending six months to make up your mind simply tells your sub you are indecisive and uncertain. Hard to submit to a waffler.

If you have decided that this one is right and the sub doesn't commit, then it becomes appropriate to set time frames. My current sub took six months of patient work after I had already decided I wanted her. I was willing to commit a year. The point is that you are supposed to be a Dom. You are supposed to know how to make your sub submit to you. Setting a time frame to solve the problem is reasonable but only because the deficiency is in you and you are working to solve it. If you aren't trying to fix the problem, its time to end it.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 1:51:37 PM

RavenMuse

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For Me such is entirely situational and there is no set time frame. If the time isn't right for Me to take them as fully Mine but there is a commitment to work towards that on both sides then I will take them "Under consideration". It maybe they need more time before fully submitting or other considerations (like omegaG there) such as a pending location change. Once both have fully committed and situational variables such as location are sorted then they are Mine and there is no 'consideration' entering into it.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 2:03:33 PM

SirKaton

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It truly depends. Every submissive is different and each one takes their own time revealing both the good and bad qualities they possess. I have gone a year with someone under consideration but never formally collared her, and I have had it last no month then a few intense months (3) from consideration to training to collaring.

They key as a Dom is to payu close attention to everything a sub does and doesn't do, says and doesn't say. There is no reason to rush this process, either. Take it as it comes and the way you need to proceed will all but make itself known.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 2:15:43 PM

Wantstocontrolu

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 3:36:28 PM

IronBear

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Bruin Cottage does not use Collars of Consideration, however we do use a Probationary Collar, This has a Minimum time of 30 Days and an undefined Maximum period. We do not generally use collars any ome on line but there are always exceptional circumstances if the recipient is intending to relocate to us or we plan to either relocate with in Aujstralia or emmigrate to their local. To take the next step, the "Proby" need the physical interactiuon with the Home - Myslef, Neets and Storm and he or she needs to experience our lifesty. Only when all parties are agreed will the House Collar be issued. personal collars may take as long as needed or never that depends on relationships and circumstances. The House Collar the the most important.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 3:49:51 PM

OldBastardly1

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I don't consider...I either do or don't.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 3:50:36 PM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MKred23

I have two subs that I was already in relationships with, when the topic of dynamics shifting to include D/s.

Recently I have had a couple more under consideration.

Do most doms/domes have time frames for their consideration periods?

Tough question...! There's probably less than a handful of Dom/mes on the entire planet in your league of demand and I'm certainly not one.... lol

Perhaps you can give a mere mortal such as myself a few tips on exactly how and where you find the time....?

Focus.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 4:21:28 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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As long as it feels right.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 4:21:49 PM

WhiteFox77

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I wont offer my collar to a sub unless she's living with me. So it tends to be a longer process for me. First I have to decide if I want to try having her live with me. Then we live together for a while to determine if we're really compatable living together. If all goes well, I'd probably coller her after 2 or 3 months of living together.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 4:49:22 PM

windchymes

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Every now and then I get inspired to write song lyrics.....the title of this thread brought to mind the song "Consider Yourself" from the old musical "Oliver". This is dedicated to all of you out there under consideration, or who have someone under consideration.....

Consider yourself
A whore
Consider yourself
A piece of furniture
I don't want to have
No sass
It's true, I'm
Going to beat your ass!

Consider yourself
A slut
Consider yourself
In my poly family
We've taken you to
Our munch
And used you
As the table for lunch!

If it should chance to be
I should pee all over you
Maybe even poo.....don't grouse!
Here are my boots to lick
Suck my dick and lick it, too
And be naked while in the house!

Consider yourself
Well-trained
You're wearing the collar
I gave
You aren't under consideration
Any more
Consider yourself
My slave!!!!!

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 5:41:42 PM

DesFIP

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Damn windchymes, not that's running through my head!

He didn't 'consider' me, nor did he keep me in the wings in case the other one didn't work out. We agreed to focus on each other only until we knew whether there was a connection. He collared me within a month/six weeks of the first meet. He's still got me, five years later.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 7:02:04 PM

Sirandlil1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MKred23

I have two subs that I was already in relationships with, when the topic of dynamics shifting to include D/s.

Recently I have had a couple more under consideration.

Do most doms/domes have time frames for their consideration periods?

MK

so you have 2 subs you are in a relationship with and a "couple more" that you have under consideration....you do not need to know about time frames......... you need a social calander to keep it all straight...

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 8:48:23 PM

antipode

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Oh yeah, at least a day.

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 9:05:17 PM

Daddysredhead

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No more reading scrolls with tired eyes. I thought it said, "How long is your castration period?" and I was thinking, well... once they are gone, they're gone.

~ sleepy Red

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 10:42:51 PM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OldBastardly1

I don't consider...I either do or don't.

Hey OldBastardly1 I haven't seen your smiling face around. Nice to see you.

Oh, and there's Mr Focus!!! Hello. I think I need to visit the threads more often.

OP~ What is a consideration period? I mean I can guess what it is, but I don't understand it. Is it like dating... but not committed to being exclusive with another? But then that wouldn't make sense because there's poly families... so I just don't get it. I could be way off here, took a shot of Nyquil

girly

< Message edited by girlygurl -- 4/24/2008 10:46:06 PM >

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RE: How long is your consideration period? - 4/24/2008 10:44:46 PM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

No more reading scrolls with tired eyes. I thought it said, "How long is your castration period?" and I was thinking, well... once they are gone, they're gone.

~ sleepy Red