How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone (4/24/2008 10:02:48 PM)

A lot of the time I find I orgasm much harder and much better and am 10 times more satisfyed by doing it alone than by sexual means or others using toys and hands on me.

A couple days ago my partner was joking I don't deserve sex cause I been bitchy all morning and I quite happily said ok I'll just wait till you go to work and masturbate, and I did and it was so nice and so fun and so satisfying lol.  10 times better than when I do it with him. It's kind of sad though, orgasms for me should be more of a blast with someone to help give them, than better alone lol.

Maybe, when we masturbate alone we're more free to go deeply into our fantasy place and react freer with out being subcontious?



kinkyviolet -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone (4/24/2008 11:11:22 PM)

I've found this to be the case sometimes as well. (Although, when I have sex, the orgasm is usually the last thing on my mind. I just enjoy the ride.)

I think that part of it is that we know our own bodies better than anyone else does. We know what feels good and can do it without having to communicate that in any way to a partner. We don't have to worry about pleasing a partner and can concentrate on our own pleasure when we masturbate. Since there's no one else around, we don't feel self-conscious or nervous or embarrassed or whatever.

Also, fantasy is often much better than reality, and if you have a good imagination, you can come up with things in your mind that would totally blow anything a real partner could do out of the water. You've probably heard it said that sex is 90% mental. With masturbation, it's probably more like 95%, so the ability to fantasize about whatever we want without the distraction of a partner makes it that much more intense.

Of course, sometimes you just want to be with someone. If you masturbate a lot (like I do, hehe), you can get too accustomed to those sensations and become desensitized to other forms of stimulation, specifically sex with a partner. If this is a concern for you, I would suggest dialing the masturbation down a bit (especially if you use a vibrator), and just having more sex (if you can) to get used to those sensations again. Practice makes perfect!

Then again, it could just be that your partner is lousy in bed, but you didn't hear that from me. :p (Just kidding!)

As a side note: From my own (admittedly limited) experience, I find that it helps to not worry about getting off so much when you're having sex. One way of thinking about it is that sex is the cake, and the orgasm (or orgasms) is the icing. You can enjoy the cake alone, though it's usually better with icing, but the icing alone will make you sick if you eat too much of it...ok, so it's not a perfect metaphor, but I think I've made my point.



Usako -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/24/2008 11:46:51 PM)

I've found the total opposite. Hence why I barely masturbate. I find it dull, boring and not very enjoyable. Yeah, the fantasy helps but it just feels empty all alone.

And empty, lonely orgasm.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 12:05:55 AM)

KinkyViolet, When I masturbate alone it's easy enough to do with out toys or vibrators.  most times anyway lol. I do notice though in the past vibrators even low level ones will numb me out if I buzz to long. which is just natural.



I don't usualy  put to much emphasis on cumming dureing sex, you're right it's going for the ride, for me that's most fun most times. That and the bonding of having him over me inside me moving in and out.

Usako, Every one's diffrent, to me sometimes orgasms next to someone and from play with someone else tend to be kind of lonly cause I know they could of been better than they were lol. But only sometimes.



bipolarber -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 5:20:20 AM)

Well, part of it is obviously that you have better feedback pleasuring yourself, than your partner does. It sounds like your partner might need a little more education on what you like and how to "play you" to orgasm. Have you thought of putting on a show for him, with a little commentary? Despite what most men think, bringing a woman to orgasm is NOT an inate ability for guys.



Aneirin -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 7:06:19 AM)

Masterbation can be looked upon as a pressure relief mechanism and is healthy. Being able to please oneself in this manner is highly important, even with the lonesome people, it takes stress away and fills one with a more positive attitude, well at least a feeling of contentment for a while and for the males, think of your prostate.

Just a pity self pleasure has such a name as masterbation, the very sound of it feels like like one should'nt be doing it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjDmN-wwQcY&feature=related





RCdc -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone (4/25/2008 7:13:58 AM)

I enjoy both.
I masturbate for and in front of Darcy - and it rocks to watch masturbation or to be masturbated on - why bother hiding something from others that is such a turn on? I aint that selfish after all...[:D]
 
Meh. Was that too much info?
the.dark.



Aneirin -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 7:15:24 AM)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIHXnDdfOgw&feature=related



pearlmoongirl -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 7:31:34 AM)

I was told that the little abdominal muscles that produce orgasm are just like all the others: they need exercise. So the more you tune them up, the more efficient and sensitive they become, and you'll have better orgasms. Got that straight from the horse's mouth: from a friend who is a medical student, while she was pleasantly and vocally tipsy at someone's birthday party. Very entertaining - and educational! *grins*

~pmg



Venatrix -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 7:39:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pearlmoongirl

I was told that the little abdominal muscles that produce orgasm are just like all the others: they need exercise . . . .
~pmg


So that means I've been getting a lot more exercise than I thought.  Excellent!  Now I can go have a slice of chocolate cake.



kdsub -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 7:53:46 AM)

There have been many good points above but what has not been mentioned is the familiarity over time with your partner.

I think there is nothing better than a new exciting relationship…and when it moves to sexual realm it is all the better. But after awhile the passion decreases…not the love but often passion. When you masturbate you are always in the mood and ready….not always the case with a partner. I’ll bet when you do masturbate your fantasies often include someone other than your partner. Nothing wrong with that as they say on Sienfeld.

It is still great if the moods match and the love is still there but it is also different then with a new exciting partner.

Butch



CalifChick -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 9:35:28 AM)

I have better orgasms when I'm with a good partner who knows me well than I do alone. Oh yes, much, much better with someone who knows me well. SIGH. Not that I'm getting that anymore. [sm=river.gif]

Cali



TJsCheekypet -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 9:38:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIHXnDdfOgw&feature=related


thats hilarious! [sm=applause.gif]



YourhandMyAss -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone (4/25/2008 11:03:14 AM)

No. It wasn't to much information.

I don't hide it, I am very open that I had tons of great solo fun, and he always says good for you I a m glad, and he sincerely does mean it,  but sometimes I do wait till he's gone cause I enjoy it more whenI am 100 percent alone just me and the room.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I enjoy both.
I masturbate for and in front of Darcy - and it rocks to watch masturbation or to be masturbated on - why bother hiding something from others that is such a turn on? I aint that selfish after all...[:D]
 
Meh. Was that too much info?
the.dark.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 11:07:22 AM)

I think that is certaintly true, that and while the passion may not be less the time to indulge could have changed, and you have to contiously choose to fire that passion up to the firey heights it was when new, and purhaps people who're ensconced and comfortable around each other forget you should contiously fire the passion up, by that I mean p ull out all the stops purposely do the things that made you burn so hot when you were in the first blushes of passion.

Not just other people but other objects too lol. and other sex acts, like double teaming a woman, or Dominating a woman hehe.
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

There have been many good points above but what has not been mentioned is the familiarity over time with your partner.

I think there is nothing better than a new exciting relationship…and when it moves to sexual realm it is all the better. But after awhile the passion decreases…not the love but often passion. When you masturbate you are always in the mood and ready….not always the case with a partner. I’ll bet when you do masturbate your fantasies often include someone other than your partner. Nothing wrong with that as they say on Sienfeld.

It is still great if the moods match and the love is still there but it is also different then with a new exciting partner.

Butch



metalmiss -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 4:44:53 PM)

Not sure.. i definately enjoy masturbation much more when i'm not on my own [:)]



lronitulstahp -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 5:47:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I have better orgasms when I'm with a good partner who knows me well than I do alone. Oh yes, much, much better with someone who knows me well. SIGH. Not that I'm getting that anymore. [sm=river.gif]

Cali

Heyyyy!!!  That's my song!!!!!....[sm=hair.gif]Thought i was the only amazingly hot sexy chick here not getting any ...... 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D7RzeqU9eY


"Celibacy Blues"

This here celibacy thing
Lawd,just got something over me
Like an addict,I could really use a thing
You know what I'm talking about
Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah

It's been hard to sleep at night
I'm ying ying ying ying it
Scratching it right
I get some new batteries almost every night
Lawd,this here celibacy thing

The stresses of this world
You know how they come down on a girl
I'm trying to clear my mind
But all I seem to find
Is this gangsta,gangsta,type of need

People say mind over matter
But,I don't mind what they say
And it don't matter
This here celibacy thing
Is working on me...




domiguy -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 5:57:06 PM)

I love to jerk off...Just a little wipe on the drapes and I'm back to my business.

The only thing that sucks about that scenario is if I'm alone I have to make my own sandwich or order my own pizza....What is up with that shit?


I have always enjoyed jerking off in lieu of banging the woman ...It's fun to explain that "It's just that I'm hotter than you..... It's crazy, but I've grown so close to me that it's like I know my own thoughts and can finish my own sentences. Creepy"



lronitulstahp -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 6:08:50 PM)

quote:

 I love to jerk off
  Well there's something original to put on Your tombstone[;)]



GimpinDenial -> RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with som (4/25/2008 8:49:42 PM)

Well, someone once said..
If you cannot get it done right...do it yourself




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