How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate alone than have sex or masturbate with someone

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How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturbate a... - 4/24/2008 10:02:48 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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A lot of the time I find I orgasm much harder and much better and am 10 times more satisfyed by doing it alone than by sexual means or others using toys and hands on me.

A couple days ago my partner was joking I don't deserve sex cause I been bitchy all morning and I quite happily said ok I'll just wait till you go to work and masturbate, and I did and it was so nice and so fun and so satisfying lol. 10 times better than when I do it with him. It's kind of sad though, orgasms for me should be more of a blast with someone to help give them, than better alone lol.

Maybe, when we masturbate alone we're more free to go deeply into our fantasy place and react freer with out being subcontious?

Post #: 1

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/24/2008 11:11:22 PM

kinkyviolet

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Joined: 9/3/2006
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I've found this to be the case sometimes as well. (Although, when I have sex, the orgasm is usually the last thing on my mind. I just enjoy the ride.)

I think that part of it is that we know our own bodies better than anyone else does. We know what feels good and can do it without having to communicate that in any way to a partner. We don't have to worry about pleasing a partner and can concentrate on our own pleasure when we masturbate. Since there's no one else around, we don't feel self-conscious or nervous or embarrassed or whatever.

Also, fantasy is often much better than reality, and if you have a good imagination, you can come up with things in your mind that would totally blow anything a real partner could do out of the water. You've probably heard it said that sex is 90% mental. With masturbation, it's probably more like 95%, so the ability to fantasize about whatever we want without the distraction of a partner makes it that much more intense.

Of course, sometimes you just want to be with someone. If you masturbate a lot (like I do, hehe), you can get too accustomed to those sensations and become desensitized to other forms of stimulation, specifically sex with a partner. If this is a concern for you, I would suggest dialing the masturbation down a bit (especially if you use a vibrator), and just having more sex (if you can) to get used to those sensations again. Practice makes perfect!

Then again, it could just be that your partner is lousy in bed, but you didn't hear that from me. :p (Just kidding!)

As a side note: From my own (admittedly limited) experience, I find that it helps to not worry about getting off so much when you're having sex. One way of thinking about it is that sex is the cake, and the orgasm (or orgasms) is the icing. You can enjoy the cake alone, though it's usually better with icing, but the icing alone will make you sick if you eat too much of it...ok, so it's not a perfect metaphor, but I think I've made my point.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 2

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/24/2008 11:46:51 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I've found the total opposite. Hence why I barely masturbate. I find it dull, boring and not very enjoyable. Yeah, the fantasy helps but it just feels empty all alone.

And empty, lonely orgasm.

(in reply to kinkyviolet)

Post #: 3

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 12:05:55 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
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KinkyViolet, When I masturbate alone it's easy enough to do with out toys or vibrators. most times anyway lol. I do notice though in the past vibrators even low level ones will numb me out if I buzz to long. which is just natural.

I don't usualy put to much emphasis on cumming dureing sex, you're right it's going for the ride, for me that's most fun most times. That and the bonding of having him over me inside me moving in and out.

Usako, Every one's diffrent, to me sometimes orgasms next to someone and from play with someone else tend to be kind of lonly cause I know they could of been better than they were lol. But only sometimes.

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 4

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 5:20:20 AM

bipolarber

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Joined: 9/25/2004
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Well, part of it is obviously that you have better feedback pleasuring yourself, than your partner does. It sounds like your partner might need a little more education on what you like and how to "play you" to orgasm. Have you thought of putting on a show for him, with a little commentary? Despite what most men think, bringing a woman to orgasm is NOT an inate ability for guys.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 5

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:06:19 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

Masterbation can be looked upon as a pressure relief mechanism and is healthy. Being able to please oneself in this manner is highly important, even with the lonesome people, it takes stress away and fills one with a more positive attitude, well at least a feeling of contentment for a while and for the males, think of your prostate.

Just a pity self pleasure has such a name as masterbation, the very sound of it feels like like one should'nt be doing it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjDmN-wwQcY&feature=related

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to bipolarber)

Post #: 6

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:13:58 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I enjoy both.
I masturbate for and in front of Darcy - and it rocks to watch masturbation or to be masturbated on - why bother hiding something from others that is such a turn on? I aint that selfish after all...

Meh. Was that too much info?
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 7

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:15:24 AM

Aneirin

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From: Tamaris
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIHXnDdfOgw&feature=related

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 8

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:31:34 AM

pearlmoongirl

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Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

I was told that the little abdominal muscles that produce orgasm are just like all the others: they need exercise. So the more you tune them up, the more efficient and sensitive they become, and you'll have better orgasms. Got that straight from the horse's mouth: from a friend who is a medical student, while she was pleasantly and vocally tipsy at someone's birthday party. Very entertaining - and educational! *grins*

~pmg

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 9

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:39:59 AM

Venatrix

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Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pearlmoongirl

I was told that the little abdominal muscles that produce orgasm are just like all the others: they need exercise . . . .
~pmg

So that means I've been getting a lot more exercise than I thought. Excellent! Now I can go have a slice of chocolate cake.

(in reply to pearlmoongirl)

Post #: 10

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 7:53:46 AM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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There have been many good points above but what has not been mentioned is the familiarity over time with your partner.

I think there is nothing better than a new exciting relationship…and when it moves to sexual realm it is all the better. But after awhile the passion decreases…not the love but often passion. When you masturbate you are always in the mood and ready….not always the case with a partner. I’ll bet when you do masturbate your fantasies often include someone other than your partner. Nothing wrong with that as they say on Sienfeld.

It is still great if the moods match and the love is still there but it is also different then with a new exciting partner.

Butch

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 11

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 9:35:28 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I have better orgasms when I'm with a good partner who knows me well than I do alone. Oh yes, much, much better with someone who knows me well. SIGH. Not that I'm getting that anymore.

Cali

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 12

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 9:38:12 AM

TJsCheekypet

Posts: 109
Joined: 4/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIHXnDdfOgw&feature=related

thats hilarious!

_____________________________

my words are just my two cents, my opinions. Not words to live by & not set in stone.

previously known as 'blissy'/now Sir T.J's pet

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 13

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 11:03:14 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

No. It wasn't to much information.

I don't hide it, I am very open that I had tons of great solo fun, and he always says good for you I a m glad, and he sincerely does mean it, but sometimes I do wait till he's gone cause I enjoy it more whenI am 100 percent alone just me and the room.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I enjoy both.
I masturbate for and in front of Darcy - and it rocks to watch masturbation or to be masturbated on - why bother hiding something from others that is such a turn on? I aint that selfish after all...

Meh. Was that too much info?
the.dark.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 14

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 11:07:22 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

I think that is certaintly true, that and while the passion may not be less the time to indulge could have changed, and you have to contiously choose to fire that passion up to the firey heights it was when new, and purhaps people who're ensconced and comfortable around each other forget you should contiously fire the passion up, by that I mean p ull out all the stops purposely do the things that made you burn so hot when you were in the first blushes of passion.

Not just other people but other objects too lol. and other sex acts, like double teaming a woman, or Dominating a woman hehe.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

There have been many good points above but what has not been mentioned is the familiarity over time with your partner.

I think there is nothing better than a new exciting relationship…and when it moves to sexual realm it is all the better. But after awhile the passion decreases…not the love but often passion. When you masturbate you are always in the mood and ready….not always the case with a partner. I’ll bet when you do masturbate your fantasies often include someone other than your partner. Nothing wrong with that as they say on Sienfeld.

It is still great if the moods match and the love is still there but it is also different then with a new exciting partner.

Butch

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 15

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 4:44:53 PM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

Not sure.. i definately enjoy masturbation much more when i'm not on my own

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 16

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 5:47:22 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I have better orgasms when I'm with a good partner who knows me well than I do alone. Oh yes, much, much better with someone who knows me well. SIGH. Not that I'm getting that anymore.

Cali

Heyyyy!!! That's my song!!!!!....

Thought i was the only amazingly hot sexy chick here not getting any ......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3D7RzeqU9eY

"Celibacy Blues"

This here celibacy thing
Lawd,just got something over me
Like an addict,I could really use a thing
You know what I'm talking about
Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah

It's been hard to sleep at night
I'm ying ying ying ying it
Scratching it right
I get some new batteries almost every night
Lawd,this here celibacy thing

The stresses of this world
You know how they come down on a girl
I'm trying to clear my mind
But all I seem to find
Is this gangsta,gangsta,type of need

People say mind over matter
But,I don't mind what they say
And it don't matter
This here celibacy thing
Is working on me...

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 17

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 5:57:06 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I love to jerk off...Just a little wipe on the drapes and I'm back to my business.

The only thing that sucks about that scenario is if I'm alone I have to make my own sandwich or order my own pizza....What is up with that shit?

I have always enjoyed jerking off in lieu of banging the woman ...It's fun to explain that "It's just that I'm hotter than you..... It's crazy, but I've grown so close to me that it's like I know my own thoughts and can finish my own sentences. Creepy"

_____________________________

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 18

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 6:08:50 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I love to jerk off

Well there's something original to put on Your tombstone

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 19

RE: How come sometimes it's more satisfying to masturba... - 4/25/2008 8:49:42 PM

GimpinDenial

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline

Well, someone once said..
If you cannot get it done right...do it yourself

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 20

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