Public play, how far is too far?

Public play, how far is too far? (Full Version)

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LeatherSlaveBoy3 -> Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 1:52:19 PM)
I was recently at a bdsm club and a sub friend of mine was being flogged by his mistress. The flogging was pretty intense but nothing they had not done before. His mistress drew blood on his backside and she did not stop the punishment. Some others at the club were upset by this. The sub was not complaining and it was within his limits but should she have stopped because they were out in public. I mean what is right? I really don't know what to think about it.

darchChylde -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 2:03:34 PM)
So long as there were precautions taken such as drop and splash cloths, a full aftercare routine including antiseptic and treatment of the wounds, and clean-up; it was not too far so long as it was consentual and withing the posted rules of the club, Often, those newer to the lifestyle; will have much greater problems with such intense and violent displays than those who've had a significant amount of real-time experience in the community. If they truly had a problem, they were within their rights to walk away, not watch and speak with the Dungeon Master or security personel about the situation.

Leatherist -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 2:04:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherSlaveBoy3 I was recently at a bdsm club and a sub friend of mine was being flogged by his mistress. The flogging was pretty intense but nothing they had not done before. His mistress drew blood on his backside and she did not stop the punishment. Some others at the club were upset by this. The sub was not complaining and it was within his limits but should she have stopped because they were out in public. I mean what is right? I really don't know what to think about it. Only if they were making a mess and flinging blood into the peanut gallery.

DominantJenny -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 2:15:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde So long as there were precautions taken such as drop and splash cloths, a full aftercare routine including antiseptic and treatment of the wounds, and clean-up; it was not too far so long as it was consentual and withing the posted rules of the club, Often, those newer to the lifestyle; will have much greater problems with such intense and violent displays than those who've had a significant amount of real-time experience in the community. If they truly had a problem, they were within their rights to walk away, not watch and speak with the Dungeon Master or security personel about the situation. What he said. (I have a feeling I'm going to say that a lot around here. :P)

Lynnxz -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 2:24:15 PM)
I'm with Leatherist.. if I happen to be at a club, and someone is flinging body fluids through the air and I get hit in the eye.... I have a feeling I'm going to be pissed. Otherwise, as long as the people in the scene are content, leave them alone. :D

Macslittleimp -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 2:47:06 PM)
I have to say that I agree with the general consensus of what is being said. As long as both players were responsible, kept body fluids limited to their play area, cleaned up afterward, and took the necessary steps to care for the wounds when the scene was over, what is the big deal? As far as other attendees being bothered by what they saw, they didn't have to watch. May sound blunt and not too sympathetic, but it's the truth. I am an extremely hard player, been known to bleed during a scene, and play rather hard in comparison to others in our local community. Why should any of us have to change our way of playing just because it bothers the sensitivities of people who perhaps do not play as hard? As long as the DM of the club had no issues, they weren't breaking any club rules, were being responsible and not physically inflicting outsiders with their kink (as in blood flying all over the place) I say let them be and be happy for them because they are enjoying the things that make them happy.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 3:10:18 PM)
In general, blood is either not allowed or discouraged at clubs. Most clubs institute this policy for the same reason they would require all inserted toys to be condomized or forbid certain kinds of sexual play--oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex with real flesh-parts = no. One word, folks: AIDS. Some people ain't got it and they don't want it. It's easier to forbid certain things before the fact than deal with the spread of an epidemic after the fact. Not every club makes this choice, but for those that are foreplay-only, this is the reason.

MisPandora -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 4:35:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherSlaveBoy3 I was recently at a bdsm club and a sub friend of mine was being flogged by his mistress. The flogging was pretty intense but nothing they had not done before. His mistress drew blood on his backside and she did not stop the punishment. Some others at the club were upset by this. The sub was not complaining and it was within his limits but should she have stopped because they were out in public. I mean what is right? I really don't know what to think about it. Your title is a bit misleading. In my mind, "public" is in the view of vanillas....like in the town square, at the mall or in the hair salon. In an SM club is a different qualifier.... Flogging is hardly what I would term edgeplay, unless of course, one is doing it with their razor-wire flogger or rusty barbed wire cat. A thin-skinned individual, or someone who has already had play that has abraded the epidermis could possibly bleed from a flogging. It's hardly something in my mind to be alarmed about. Assuming that breaking skin isn't written in that particular playspace's "rules for stoppage of play", I don't think that should necessarily toss a flag on the field and stop the scene. I think that really depends on the circumstances. As a seasoned dungeon monitor, I'd watch this scene, but wouldn't stop it unless there was blood splatter. I might make a more protective zone around them if people were exceedingly close....and I'd probably prepare a chair with a chux pad on it for the bottom when they were done, and offer her a plastic bag for her flogger so that it doesn't contaminate anything else. That's about it. I'm also a blood player....and work with sharps and blood through the course of my mun employment, so my squick factor is about zero here.

vampchick88 -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 4:54:29 PM)
I talked public play over with pet before doing anything outlandish. As long as he's not going to run away and try to be lost from what I'll do I'll go right up to his hard limits. I think that as long as no police are coming to break things up then its within limits[sm=alarm.gif]. ~Lorelei

LadyPact -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 6:00:52 PM)
I don't know if there's anything I can add here that hasn't already been said. The posts were excellent. As someone else who enjoys a bit of blood, I'd have been mad as heck if someone tried to stop My scene, just because they weren't handling it. Like the others have said, nobody is forcing anyone to watch a scene they aren't involved in. If there's too much heat for you, get out of the kitchen.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 6:24:33 PM)
Speaking as a dungeon monitor and blood player, no big deal! Clean up after yourselves, and take precautions to protect others, and the rest of the room has the option to not watch.

LaMistressa -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 6:30:46 PM)
Most of the clubs I know that don't allow full-out sex don't allow it because of legal issues (vs. only health ones.) As for blood, there's also a risk of contracting hepatitis as well as HIV through blood and improperly cleaned toys, and that is a big concern as well. As for the OP, I have not seen scenes stopped unless there weren't proper precautions being taken (drop cloth, pre and post cleaning, etc.) or unless blood was spraying. If there was a DM there and they didn't stop the scene, then the people who didn't like the scene should have turned and gone to the snack bar. Me, I get easily offended by others' play -- mismatched rope colors, "naked" subs with their tube socks still on....stop the scene, I say! [;)]

MladyHathor -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 7:01:32 PM)
*No different than cuttings or needle play--if its posted as what will occur and the crowd gets squeamish---go to another room.*

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/25/2008 8:45:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LeatherSlaveBoy3 I was recently at a bdsm club and ........ Some others at the club were upset by this. LOL....in BDSM clubs all over the world there are people who get very, very upset. I now think that if no-one gets Very Upset Indeed (and gossips to that effect), the scene was probably too tame. Public play is performance art and designed to get reactions - positive and negative - from the viewing public. The artists need pretty thick skin (sorry for the pun) or they should play at home. Having said that, all the instant safety experts fresh off the net do give me the sh*ts

LaMistressa -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 12:58:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne LOL....in BDSM clubs all over the world there are people who get very, very upset. I now think that if no-one gets Very Upset Indeed (and gossips to that effect), the scene was probably too tame. Public play is performance art and designed to get reactions - positive and negative - from the viewing public. The artists need pretty thick skin (sorry for the pun) or they should play at home. I saw a scene recently where one of my favorite dominant guys had a woman suspended on an upside-down cross (and lashed to the cross with barbed wire), being beaten as she wept - with a crown of barbed wire on her head. Once he brought the cross down from the suspension, he then had her drag it though the play space as he whipped her. And I remarked to my maid, "oh this is nice, but he's done this before, I was hoping he'd show off something new." Times like that, you know you're getting jaded! (edited because I forgot to type the word 'he'd', because I'm up waaaay too early to make sense)

MamaDomme1 -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 2:15:07 AM)
I agree with what has already been said. As long as precautions are being taken, it is within the participants agreement, and it is within the BDSM club's guidelines, if observers don't care for it, they can walk away. I've been known to break skin and have some blood shed......... I'm not squimish at all. Kinda makes me queasy when the guts start falling out tho--- and eyeballs roll on the floor.

chezzy71 -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 2:50:44 AM)
Breaking skin is a hard limit with me.Johnson and Johnson doesn't make enough antiseptic on the planet for me to allow one to cut me.If you wish to see blood anyone is welcome to watch as i test my blood sugar levels about 5 times a day.Now before all you Dominas get yourselves in a chezzy tizzy,i will state i love a good flogging like most anyone else..but id o have to draw the line when schards of my skin are being peeled away from leather or rubber straps and the same goes for caning and or paddling.As for the public play..i would have to pass on that as well.I am a very private individual and i am old school...what goes on behind closed doors is nobody's business.

BoiJen -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 7:47:11 AM)
AIDS and HIV are not the primary reasons blood play is not allowed at some "public play" events. Legal issues such consental "assualt" are. Hepitis is the next reason. After that it's general squimishness of the fluffy fuckers that only socialize at these events. HIV and AIDS are only issue for the uneducated groups out there. Recently, LIFE Detroit did an amazing presentation on body fluid exchange and play and the specific title was "Safe Sex and HIV/AIDS Education- What´s Right and Wrong with It? - A panel discussion" The discussion included WHY it's okay and can be safe for an individual who is HIV+ to play in public. If you are close enough to have body fluids flung on you because you're watching...you're too close and learn how to back the fuck up. You get squicked out...go else where! Being a incredibly heavy blood player, who has no problem playing with HIV+ individuals, in public or private, it borders on offensive to me that people can't keep their fuckin mouths shut because they get squicked. My favorite scenes end up with people bleeding. In fact most of my scenes, from the top and bottom, end up with someone bleeding. Most clubs will have rules about going about blood sports and as long as those rules are followed, the fluffy fucks can somewhere and cry to themselves. So long as they don't step on my scene we're good.

thetammyjo -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 8:21:50 AM)
What is right in a public club is a factor of two things. First, you must follow club rules or not only will you get kicked out but you're very likely to get banned from the club. Second, the limits of the people doing the scene. Frankly anyone else watching can choose to not watch if they don't like what they see unless they believe that club rules are being violated or safewords/stopwords are being ignored. At that point, they should inform a DM who can check it out. I've had to do that myself as a DM (yes, I've been one a few times).

MamaDomme1 -> RE: Public play, how far is too far? (4/26/2008 8:52:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chezzy71 Breaking skin is a hard limit with me.Johnson and Johnson doesn't make enough antiseptic on the planet for me to allow one to cut me.If you wish to see blood anyone is welcome to watch as i test my blood sugar levels about 5 times a day.Now before all you Dominas get yourselves in a chezzy tizzy,i will state i love a good flogging like most anyone else..but id o have to draw the line when schards of my skin are being peeled away from leather or rubber straps and the same goes for caning and or paddling.As for the public play..i would have to pass on that as well.I am a very private individual and i am old school...what goes on behind closed doors is nobody's business. That is what is so wonderful about choosing this lifestyle-- if you aren't into public play, you don't have to go to a public space. And if you don't wish to participate in any type of blood scenes, you don't have to. *and as a diabetic since the age of 9, I also do more than my fair share of bloodletting..... and I don't particularly enjoy having my blood leave my body for anybody!

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