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To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/25/2008 11:20:51 PM

SoulServent

Posts: 1
Joined: 1/14/2008
Status: offline

Hello I am new to the boards but would like to ask what others think about this. Is it my right to offer myself and or my services to a Mistress/Women or to a Female as a slave not just as a sex slave but to be used to do domestic jobs, to serve and to be abused as the Lady see's fit. To offer myself to be owned by a Mistress/Women/Female like one takes ownership of a dog and by doing so having to do everything that I am told and expected to do. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

Post #: 1

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 12:00:50 AM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

Of course you can offer yourself for domestic service and slavery, that is very common. I don't get what you mean by "do I have the right" -- you have the right to do whatever you wish, and if a Domme has an interest, she will follow up on it. You also have the right to refuse if not interested; that's the negotiation process. Am I missing some part of the question here or something?

(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 2

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 2:19:26 AM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

Yeah dude--- that's what putting a profile up is about. You offer, someone that is interested, takes you up on your offer.

Good luck with that.

(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 3

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 3:12:44 AM

nick2020

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/12/2005
Status: offline

Hello SoulServant: First of all heed the advice of two of the Dominant Woman who have posted. If you are to truly to become a submissive you cede your rights to the Mistress who accepts your submission. Once you have been around here any length of time you will see that there are virtually thousands of submissives to each Mistress here in 'collarme'. If one decides to accept you it will be all about the Mistress and not about you. If the Mistress decides on your domestic service, or any other service She sees fit to allow you to perform be happy and 'just do it'!!! You might also want to humble yourself by using lower case lettering in your handle and save the capitalization for Dominants. Just trying to help with a few sugestions. Good Luck in your search.

(in reply to MamaDomme1)

Post #: 4

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 3:17:17 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

quote: Is it my right to offer myself and or my services to a Mistress/Women or to a Female as a slave not just as a sex slave but to be used to do domestic jobs, to serve and to be abused as the Lady see's fit

I personally am not here for a "sex slave" at all, even one who also does housework too. I'm not sure if that's just the way you worded it, but it sounds a little like you think that's what domination is about. It can be part of the dynamic, but is not the prime mover. For me anyway.

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(in reply to nick2020)

Post #: 5

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 4:19:29 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nick2020

You might also want to humble yourself by using lower case lettering in your handle and save the capitalization for Dominants.

Each to their own, but some of us find the D/s orientated lower and upper casing a bit pretentious and a turn off, and in some cases, can seem wankerish. Whilst I am certainly no grammar extraordinaire by any stretch of the imagination, I like the traditional use of the English written language. I don’t feel lower casing indicates somebodies humility, lol.

Each to their own. Use it as you see fit, but it certainly isn’t a D/s rule! Lol.

< Message edited by MsLilac -- 4/26/2008 4:21:03 AM >

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(in reply to nick2020)

Post #: 6

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 5:15:35 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Well, will you can try to offer yourself I think that is unlikely to get to get you very far -- maybe you'll get lucky but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Instead, I suggest you read forums and profiles and strike up a conversation with someone whom you have grown to admire (as much as one can online). Read a lot of what she posts and seriously examine her profile otherwise you can't be striking up much a conversation with anyone other than a fantasy.

After a few emails, ask if she might be interested in discussing if you two have enough in common to consider a Ds dynamic together. Note: don't do that if her profiles states she is not looking at this time, that's a great way to kill conversation.

I also strongly recommend you only ask someone who lives close to you, within two hours drive of so if you think you (YOU) can afford to do that drive at least once a week to where she is. Otherwise you are likely wasting time for both of you.

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(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 7

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 5:22:06 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Do you have the RIGHT? Sure. Offer away, just dont be surprised when not every offer is grabbed up. AS a Dominant, I get offers like this routinely. Sex slave, domestic slave, no-sex personal service...
Problem is if you dont read a persons profile and know what they are interested in, all your offers will be ignored. I am not looking for a new slave at all, so the people mailing me and offering themselves are impossible to take seriously. They are not interested enough to see what I wanted, they have canned letters to offer themselves to anyone with a Dominant female profile.
If you want to offer yourself, make sure you put the proper research into whom you will be offering to.
And, to nick2020's advice... that isnt ALWAYS the case. A Mistress or Master wil tel you what they expect, and how much you will give up to them. There is no rule that says its al or nothing right away. And I'd stay away from the capitalization thing unless a Dom/me mentions it in their profile. Proper English tends to be far more impressive, and NO netspeak.

DV

_____________________________

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VampiresLair

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 8

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 6:30:24 AM

MladyHathor

Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

to serve and to be abused as the Lady see's fit... ... to be owned by a Mistress/Women/Female like one takes ownership of a dog and by doing so having to do everything that I am told and expected to do. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

As long as you clearly understand all that statement can and does imply--so here are some examples--harsh but fall with in the realm of your statement--and true:

1. you will go to work amd you will turn over all your money, holdings, assets
2. you will have no outside relationships with friends or family
3. you will sleep on the basement on the floor and eat from a dog dish
4. you will be weekend amusement for the other "boys"
5. you will clean the toilets with your tongue
6. you will do this list of chores, be a servant and nothing more
7. you will serve as a human toilet
8. you are not to think but obey

Though these may seem extreme they are indeed what some Mistress' may expect.

Make sure your head comes out of the fantasy and you get a dose of reality before you say those words above.

< Message edited by MladyHathor -- 4/26/2008 6:31:52 AM >

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(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 9

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 7:31:33 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I would much rather have a sub offer himself that way than for sexual service only. In fact, if I know that all a man wants is sex I will automatically ignore him.

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(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 10

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 7:31:45 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

I'ma explain it easy like...cuz I got this thing right the first time around (it helps that I'm cute)...

Don't send a fuckin form letter to every female with a D-type profile. It's gonna piss people off. Seriously, I know it's tedious, but take the time to read the profiles and see what it si they want and if those things are also what you want. IF they don't have that in their profiles...ask. Politiely.

Please note (THIS IS IMPORTANT) if they are not looking,. or are not looking for what you have to offer, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE. I hate hate hate answering emails for MsK where someone thinks they're just so fuckin special that She should bend Her rules for them. It's not going to happen. You might have something to offer but it's no different than what everybody else is offering these women. PROVE you're different by not being an ass and then you might get somewhere.

Fuck the capitalization bullshit. Proper grammar usage will get you somewhere farther. It seriously puts most of the Dommes I know off when people assume that stuff. Very specifically with the women I know, they only expect things like that to happen when communication in writing with the people they already own.

"Ma'am", "M'Lady", etc are inappropriate with first writing. If you want to be formal use the handle they have here or "Miss so and so" because you NEVER know when any of the other words may or may not hold specific meaning within the personal relationships these women already have. (Example: Anybody who messages MsK and begins with "Ma'am" is automatically ruled out...it's specific to Her personal relationships and the privilage to call Her that MUST be earned.)

Finally, you said "not only a sex slave," if you dick is leading you, you're not going to get too far...no offense...you're not attractive enough to pull it off.

The Boijen
"Of course I was honest....yes, they did cry."

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 4/26/2008 7:32:52 AM >

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 11

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 11:03:53 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nick2020
You might also want to humble yourself by using lower case lettering in your handle and save the capitalization for Dominants.

That might be a bad idea. Those of us who have no time for this sort of "internet-ism" would look at that and go, "online wanker" and click the delete button. It's abusive to proper english and the written word.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to nick2020)

Post #: 12

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 12:23:52 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

quote:

5. you will clean the toilets with your tongue

LOL!!!

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(in reply to MladyHathor)

Post #: 13

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 1:45:23 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

It really is very difficult to get your approach right.
When people offer to do extreme things for me I worry that is what they actually want.
If it is and I do it then I'm a service top not a Domme.
However if they are saying I'll do anything that you want then I start to think either
1 They have no idea what they are offering or
2 Yeah until they get a bit of experience and then I will never hear from them again.
It's difficult for a Domme as well.
I want an all round submissive. I want it to be a loving/sexual relationship.
I don't want a sex slave.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 14

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 1:56:18 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

quote:

BoiJen:
Finally, you said "not only a sex slave," if your dick is leading you, you're not going to get too far... no offense... you're not attractive enough to pull it off.

Jen... that was uncalled for! :-) SoulServent is new. He'll figure out the ropes in due course. And beside, while he may not be your cup of tea, I'm sure there are many Domina's who would consider him very cute.

Elan.

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 15

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 2:04:30 PM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

SoulServent,

I'm sorry for this quick reply, but here's the gist of it. Your profile and the way you're presenting yourself is what we here on Collar Me (and on many other BDSM sites) call an HNG (Horny Net Geek). In case it's not obvious, this isn't a good thing. There are literally thousands, if not millions, of people advertising this way. You won't get anywhere with this approach. Lay off all the BDSM, fetish, and sex stuff. Also, lay off all the "Mistress I will worship you and I hope you'll be very happy with me" smarmy stuff too. Just present yourself as an intelligent, well rounded, compassionate human being. Show your intelligence, your sense of humour, and, sure, your submissive nature through being courteous and polite. As best you can, make sure your profile is devoid of grammar errors and spelling mistakes. Doing these things will get you much farther towards meeting someone than the approach you're taking now (which, in all honesty, is almost guaranteed catastrophic failure).

Good luck,

Elan.

(in reply to SoulServent)

Post #: 16

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 2:24:53 PM

Grrrgeousbbw

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

At this point I think you'll see a pattern here, SoulServent. If nothing else is true of ALL Dominants, it is true that we want what we want. The best way to navigate that successfully is, in my opinion, to pay attention and ask intelligent questions. That way, at least if you aren't a match, you'll be learning as you go.

As far as having a RIGHT to offer, sure... you have the right. I also have the right to stand on a street corner with a bullhorn and espouse my personal beliefs to passers-by, but it's unlikely to get me what I want. As a male sub looking for a female dominant, you're going to find that in order to be noticed and chosen you'll need to be attentive, thoughtful, intelligent, and flexible in your approach.

Good luck.

(in reply to ElanSubdued)

Post #: 17

RE: To offer one's self to a Mistress - 4/26/2008 3:04:24 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nick2020

Hello SoulServant: First of all heed the advice of two of the Dominant Woman who have posted. If you are to truly to become a submissive you cede your rights to the Mistress who accepts your submission. Once you have been around here any length of time you will see that there are virtually thousands of submissives to each Mistress here in 'collarme'. If one decides to accept you it will be all about the Mistress and not about you. If the Mistress decides on your domestic service, or any other service She sees fit to allow you to perform be happy and 'just do it'!!! You might also want to humble yourself by using lower case lettering in your handle and save the capitalization for Dominants. Just trying to help with a few sugestions. Good Luck in your search.

I'm not in complete agreement here. While in some cases it may be as you state, in most cases, it really has more to do with what those seeking are seeking and those offering are offering. Yeah, there may be thousands of submissive to each mistress (which I don't buy, but just for sake of argument, okay), but that doesn't mean that each one of those submissives is interchangeable with every other one. There are varying degrees of submissive natures, and each dominant is seeking something a bit different. The shining submissives will eventually find someone of worth, while those of worth will eventually find those shining submissives.

The whole idea of "you must write with little letters" and such are posturing tools that people do to "act" submissive on a message board where conversation really doesn't have a lot to do with "playing" submissive and dominant, but in actually finding like, or opposite, minded folk. Personally, I'd never write that way, unless I was personally serving a woman who desired that of me. If I started doing that all of the time, I'd probably find most women trying to avoid me because I'd be forcing them into my submission, even when they're probably not interested.

And no, I don't agree that it is "all about the Mistress" only here and what she wants. Granted, in my type of submission it IS all about her, and when I find her, she gets the attention that comes from that attitude, but for the most part, if someone doesn't have me serving her, then she isn't going to want my submissive behavior anymore than I'm really going to want to give it. Sure, I'll give respect to everyone, including submissives, men and random penguins, but that doesn't translate to obsequious behavior that the "fantasy" sometimes demands.

The original poster had some legitimate questions, and even I was thinking that some of them appeared more troll-like than with what I'm comfortable (the reason I originally decided not to respond), so forcing someone into your paradigm of online submission probably doesn't help a noobie find what he or she is looking for.

I understand you're trying to be helpful, but in some cases it's not always that helpful to create a paradigm for someone that isn't going to help them in the long run.

As for my advice to the OP, I'd say be truthful, be yourself, understand that you're dealing with someone else's needs, desires and wants as well as your own. No one really wants to be the "solution" to someone's fantasy fulfillment, unless that person is fulfilling her own fantasies as well. I'd suggest curteous behavior, and if you are service-oriented, find out what it is you can do to actually service someone (that doesn't involve sticking your tongue where it really doesn't belong), and you might find more and more successes coming your way.

_____________________________

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(in reply to nick2020)

Post #: 18

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