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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 12:41:23 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Here's a shock to some of you....the person who pays the mortgage or has the title is the decider!

Hey wait a minute, Bush said He's the decider.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 12:44:54 PM

KatyLied

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I know, I've never gotten over that.

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 12:52:17 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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i have a 20 yo son living with me......i have no desires to know about his sex life.....in fact im content with believing he is gonna be a virgin til i decide i want grandchildren.

he has his life, and i have mine, but it is my house, and if i thought he was doing something he knew i didnt approve of, damn straight id snoop. my house, my rules. period.

dont like em, the doors right there and youre welcome to come do ya laundry once a week if ya wanna.

and im with tigresses and katy-if he put a lock on the door without my permission, he would be minus a door very quickly.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 1:58:56 PM

LordOfTheMad

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Joined: 12/31/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

Zensee, you're lucky you're not my kid, lol. my house, my rules, no locked doors and if you can't live with my rules, there is the door. as owner of the house i have the right to inspect, but not to snoop. you want something kept private, put it away.
PM

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 2:33:13 PM

cyberdude611

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Joined: 5/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: conatus

well as nice as it can be sometimes to live at home with parents it tends to make ones kinkster lifestyle difficult. over the last day or so ive had the ambition to tell my mom about my kinks, i just dont know how to go about it. before i put a lock on my bedroom door i know she snooped and saw/found things that would hit towards some of my kinks. i just dont know how far her knolage goes. i dont realy want to share every detail, but i want enough so she is not constatly wondering ( and snooping more). im sure im not the only one who has gone through this, i would like to know how to go about it and how others reacted.

You're 20 and live at home?
Why would you want to do something like that?
Join the Navy and see the world.

This is becoming more and more common...

I know college grads taking jobs like bartending and being a server at Outback steakhouse. I know lawyers with JD degrees that are unemployed and living at home.

The jobs in this country are GONE! Kids are finishing college and hitting the job market only to find no jobs. And they end up moving back in with their parents and taking service jobs just to repay student loans.

This country is in a very bad situation right now.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 3:54:45 PM

DragonLady5

Posts: 183
Joined: 3/19/2008
From: Upstate NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i have a 20 yo son living with me......i have no desires to know about his sex life.....in fact im content with believing he is gonna be a virgin til i decide i want grandchildren.

he has his life, and i have mine, but it is my house, and if i thought he was doing something he knew i didnt approve of, damn straight id snoop. my house, my rules. period.

dont like em, the doors right there and youre welcome to come do ya laundry once a week if ya wanna.

and im with tigresses and katy-if he put a lock on the door without my permission, he would be minus a door very quickly.

I am right there with you. At various times I've had one or more of my three adult kids living at home. As long as they bring dirty dishes back and I don't smell anything (funk, smoke, dead skunk, etc), I leave their rooms alone. That doesn't mean I wouldn't go in their room if I felt I needed to. Just that I don't unnecessarily. And no, they're not allowed to lock their door just to keep me out. A locking trunk would be fine.

Of course, I'm the one with the kinks, not them. As far as I know....

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:03:06 PM

Zensee

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Big Momma's watching you!

Actually the holder of the mortgage at my house has no such right, legal or moral, since I pay the friggin' rent. If the OP pays any room or board their privacy comes with it. How about a little respect for other people for a change (and kids are people, at any age)?

Some people here have real control issues, apparently. You've got to stop being mommy sometime. When your kids reach majority seems like a good time to cut the apron strings.

Z.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:07:00 PM

TickledOff

Posts: 10
Joined: 4/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cyberdude611
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: conatus

well as nice as it can be sometimes to live at home with parents it tends to make ones kinkster lifestyle difficult. over the last day or so ive had the ambition to tell my mom about my kinks, i just dont know how to go about it. before i put a lock on my bedroom door i know she snooped and saw/found things that would hit towards some of my kinks. i just dont know how far her knolage goes. i dont realy want to share every detail, but i want enough so she is not constatly wondering ( and snooping more). im sure im not the only one who has gone through this, i would like to know how to go about it and how others reacted.

You're 20 and live at home?
Why would you want to do something like that?
Join the Navy and see the world.

This is becoming more and more common...

I know college grads taking jobs like bartending and being a server at Outback steakhouse. I know lawyers with JD degrees that are unemployed and living at home.

The jobs in this country are GONE! Kids are finishing college and hitting the job market only to find no jobs. And they end up moving back in with their parents and taking service jobs just to repay student loans.

This country is in a very bad situation right now.

There are also lots of reasons people live at home while in school. I live at home during semester breaks because I live in campus housing (mandatory to keep all of my scholarship) and can't get a decent appartment with a short enough lease.

I know a lot of people who live at home while going to school, because college is flippin' expensive these days.

And I know people who intend to keep working at the service industry jobs they took to get through school after graduation because with the senority and experience they have now they get paid more there than they would at entry level in their degree field.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:15:01 PM

kiwisub12

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Get a suitcase that has zippers on both ends, thrift shop won't cost much.
Get a lock at the hardware store, lock the suitcase shut and stick it up on the shelf in the closet, under your shoes, under the bed.

And if you kept your room clean she wouldn't go in there. I don't snoop through my kids' stuff. But I do go searching for glasses, plates, silverware etc. If they cleaned up, I wouldn't have to go in.

ditto - and while you are at it , vaccum the house once in a while lol - and really freak your mum out.

as a mother of adult children, i don't want to know about my kids sex life other than to know they aren't going to get pregnant or catch anything bad.
ask your mum if she wants to know anything about you before you start volunteering info. She may be just snoopy, rather than curious about your sex life.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:18:28 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
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Actually my parents don't ever snoop. they value my privacy, and they respect me enough not to snoop through my belongings. But no, you're not the only one who's gone through nosey parents.

quote:

ORIGINAL: conatus

im sure im not the only one who has gone through this,

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:19:31 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

Big Momma's watching you!

Actually the holder of the mortgage at my house has no such right, legal or moral, since I pay the friggin' rent. If the OP pays any room or board their privacy comes with it. How about a little respect for other people for a change (and kids are people, at any age)?

Some people here have real control issues, apparently. You've got to stop being mommy sometime. When your kids reach majority seems like a good time to cut the apron strings.

Z.

ok cut the apron strings and get the fuck out then...easy enough?

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:22:17 PM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

Big Momma's watching you!

Actually the holder of the mortgage at my house has no such right, legal or moral, since I pay the friggin' rent. If the OP pays any room or board their privacy comes with it. How about a little respect for other people for a change (and kids are people, at any age)?

Some people here have real control issues, apparently. You've got to stop being mommy sometime. When your kids reach majority seems like a good time to cut the apron strings.

Z.

the apron strings will be cut when he moves out... he chooses to stay here because it helps him. as i tell him when it comes up-you dont like the rules, you are free to move to your own place where you can make the rules.

its that simple in my world. my house, my rules. no ones forced to stay with their parents. i lived with mine for a while when i was about 23-fresh out of the army and a grown up who didnt answer to anyone. but i damn sure had to let mom know where i was going and when i would be back. when i got to where i couldnt do that any more, i moved out.

simple enough. i also made sure i never brought weed into her house, out of respect. i hid it in a tree or kept it in my car. and you better believe she woulda torn that room up if she thought i had anything in there she didnt approve of.

the world i live in we all know you never have rights to privacy when living in ya parents house.......whether you pay rent or not. hopefully you have a mutual respect that means they never would feel a need to go through your room, but if the ops parents hate kink, they have every right to refuse it to be under their roof.

my opinion only of course

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:24:43 PM

Usako

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From: NYC
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I see no point in telling you rmom your private business. I mean, why would you? Regular sex, kinky sex, banana sex; it's not exactly the thing you share with people.

As for the privacy thing, yeah it's her house and she can do whatever...but I would assume people would respect your privacy. My mom does. If she needs to put something in my room she puts it on the bed and walks out. Then again, I don't have anything much to hide but I still like my privacy none the less.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 4:24:50 PM

DiurnalVampire

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I was living at home at 30 after my divorce. I made damn sure that anything mom wasnt supposed to see was either in a plastic box pushed way under the bed, or in a suitcase covered with out-of-season clothes that shed have never gone through. Mom was a snoop and a control freak. At 30, I wasnt allowed to have anyone of the opposite sex in my bedroom and close the door. Mom's rules. Sleepovers were right out, unless my guest wanted to sleep on the floor in either the living room or my brother let them stay in with him. Mom's rules.
Mom is quite happy to believe that I will be abstaining until I am married again, the reason she hated my exhusband was that we lived together before I married him and he "took my virture before the wedding".

If Mom hasnt brought up anything about what she might have seen, and you havent found anything moved or missing, Id say just get yourself somewhere to hide things and deal for a while. You wont be there forever. Better not to burn bridges and risk alienating mom. If she REALLY objects, she might overreact and throw you out, not want you to come back. Ive seen it happen, and it isnt pretty.

DV

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 5:02:38 PM

Zensee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

ok cut the apron strings and get the fuck out then...easy enough?

Well that's bloody obvious isn't it. That was my solution at 17.

We are talking about a parent's conduct towards other adults sharing their home. It's about respecting someone else's privacy and not indulging your own morbid curiosity.

Show some self-control, parents. Grow up and maybe your kids will too.

Z.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:03:39 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zensee

Show some self-control, parents. Grow up and maybe your kids will too.

Z.

You've got it backwards. I will grant them the respect merited to other adults when they act like it. And as long as I keep finding mold growing experiments in my dishes, it aint gonna happen!

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:09:44 PM

MasterKalif

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To the OP....I don't know wouldn't you feel weird talking to your mother about sex...and not only sex but about this lifestyle or whatever aspects you enjoy of it? I high doubt she will approve....if anything she will be keeping a closer eye on you thinking that you have issues...do not tell her, there is no need to. Like everyone here, hide it in places you know she doesn't go through or clean, etc...or get a trunk and lock it. I would nicely tell her that you are now a grown man and that you do not want her moving stuff around the room as you are conscious or afraid they may break (was true in my case when growing up) and tell her nicely that you can keep your room clean, and voila no more problems...

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:10:05 PM

MissMagnolia

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My kinks, like my sex life, are not something I have ever felt the need to tell my parents about. They have never discussed their intimate life with me either. Why should I/they?

As for sneaking around your room yes, that is wrong, but until you are paying rent and bills for your own home, you must live by their rules.

I'm personally not a snooper but, as I have always told my son, if you don't like my rules, move out and in with a friend or something.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 8:11:58 PM

kittinSol

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Zensee is correct, and that's that

. In my opinion, an adult has a right to privacy wherever they live. Come to think of it, a child has that right too.

Then again, I believe in giving children the right to vote so my opinion counts for shit.

Conclusion: each to their own.

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RE: im 20 and live with my parents need advice - 4/26/2008 10:08:36 PM

Maya2001

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When the adult child is paying for their own residence then they are entitled to total privacy, and if you think a parent is going to get a straight honest answer from a child that is doing something illegal ...think again, . It was by entering my sons room that I learned for a fact a problem was occuring and that illegal activity was occuring, after he denied he was doing anything wrong. As long as I am paying for the roof any room under said roof is mine to enter and I have the right to know what is going on under said roof at any time, the police are not going to excuse me from having drugs or stolen property under my roof simply because it was in my childs room... they expect it to be my obligation to know and there is only one way to know for sure. The only way that a child can expect privacy is if they are paying rent for that room and the parents obligation to that space is exempt is if a reciept is provided to show they recieved rent for that space making it legally off limits without permission to enter as the child is then a tenent of said room. There is a huge difference between your opinion and legal rights.

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