Leonidas
Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
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quote:
I'm amazed by the number of submissives/slaves that will tell a complete stranger that they have no limits.
There is often a semantic game that gets played with this. Someone says that they have "no limits" and so then of course someone else says "well, gravity is a limit, you can't fly can you?". The definition of TPE (and other similar forms of bondage) is that there are no stated limits . In some M/s ("s" being submissive or slave as it pleases you) there are stated limits. In others, there are none. When an "s" says "I have no limits" what they are usually telling you is either that they are in a relationship where they have stated no limits to their owner or dominant's authority over them, or that they are willing to engage in such a relationship.
quote:
I'm amazed by newbies that think they can define the D/s BDSM lifestyle when they've never had a D/s BDSM relationship.
I think that describes just about all newbies. If they couldn't define a relationship that would be attractive to them, they wouldn't come for the dance. Whether their definition holds once they experience it is a different matter.
quote:
I'm amazed that there is a large number of subs/slaves that have absolutely no goals for themselves even when it applies to service.
Yeah, that amazes lots of folks. There are some slaves though, whose goals are exactly those that their master sets for them, and that serve exactly as it pleases their master. In both areas, they take their queues from their owner. I own one of these.
quote:
I'm amazed by subs that want to come to live in our house and not do their share of the household chores.
That kind of amazes me too, if they are of the "no limit" type that you describe above, unless, of course, your husband doesn't require it and enforce his requirement, in which case, it's perfectly understandable.
quote:
I classify myself as a submissive. The reason I do this is because I operate pretty autonomously through out my day. Master doesn't wish to micromanage me.
There is a semantic game that gets played with this one too. Sure, you can make the argument that every slave who doesn't have to be repeatedly told to breath in and out is autonomous, but there is a difference between a submissive that retains some autonomy, and one who does not.
A submissive who retains some autonomy reserves some "say so" in some area of their life. You'll often see those who identify as a submissive or slave say "I would never be at the mercy of a man financially" or "I would be offended and hurt if my master told me what I could and couldn't eat" or "I think it's abusive for a dominant to tell a submissive who they can and can't have as friends" or "I have to make the decisions when it comes to my children". Those submissives have chosen to remain autonomous in some area of their lives. They've retained some "say so". The "no limits" types mentioned above don't. They surrender autonomy, and place themselves wholly under the control of their owners.
quote:
So, you might be able to understand how I was offended by a conversation where a novice slave (self proclaimed and non-Gor) is explaining to Master that a slave is a higher level than a submissive, how being a slave means a higher level of trust and how a submissive always has limits.
A slave who has surrendered her autonomy completely has certainly submitted herself more profoundly than one who has not. Is that "higher" (as in better)? Not if you happen to think that it's misguided, or stupid, or dangerous, to do so. This particular girl seemed to think so, so for her, it is higher (better). Does your master agree? If not, frankly, why would you give a fuck what she thinks, since you don't have to live her life?
quote:
This woman somehow thinks that someone else could trust Master more than I do?
If she's willing to surrender her autonomy to him completely, and you haven't, then yes, maybe she does. Whether she's stupid for doing so is another question.
quote:
She somehow thinks that I am less submissive than she is?
Maybe you are. So what? Someone who enjoys amputation play is probably more masochistic than you are too. Is it really a contest in which you want to engage? Everyone has their own notion about how profoundly they're willing to submit to someone. Others might be willing to submit more profoundly than you are. You may find the level to which they are willing to submit irrational or undesirable. No biggie.
quote:
As someone who has never been in D/s BDSM relationship, she thinks that she can define the roles as absolute?
Maybe. Maybe she can live them that way too. If she's new, she doesn't know yet.
The difference between a "submissive" and a "slave" is not all that sharply defined. Generally, those who identify as "submissives" retain more autonomy than those who identify as "slaves". She may be applying that generalization and making some assumptions about you that aren't true because you call yourself a "submissive". Again, unless your master is agreeing with her, it's probably not something you ought to let rattle your cage.
< Message edited by Leonidas -- 10/14/2005 9:51:10 AM >
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Take care of yourself
Leonidas
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RE: Okay, so I'm irritated... - 
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