A first hello

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

A first hello

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> A first hello

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

A first hello - 10/13/2005 12:59:01 PM

Arcain

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/26/2005
Status: offline

When you're reading through a profile and you see someone you like, what do you put, what do you say.... what do people want to hear?

Help

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 1:05:32 PM

KittenWithaTwist

Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I usually start with a compliment or a short note, either acknowledging that the profile was well written or that the person and I have something in common. Then I outline what it is I'm looking for, give a few snippets of information about myself, and end with a line asking for a response, like "So if this sounds of interest, drop me a line" or something like that.

I figure, that way, I've written something intelligent, "proved" that I'd read over their profile and interests in an attempt to get to know them, and offered my own info in return to entice the person.

Keep in mind, it's always nice to personalize. :)

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 1:08:54 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

NOT a form letter

It has to be unique, specially if it's to a woman

It has to compliment me but in a unique way. Getting an email asking "Are you Irish?" to a girl with "emerald" in her name, is not unique. Getting an email saying "I loved how you used this word in this manner" is unique, shows that you REALLY read the profile, and shows an intelligence in COMPREHENDING the profile.

It has to show a sense of yourself as open but not rushed. Saying "I know you'll love me because of this" is no good. Saying "I'm also into this activity and it's cool to meet someone else also into it" again shows a desire to connect.

Treat it like a vanilla opening- you don't know the person yet, attempting to address the orientation rather than the person backfires.

It has to be well-written, coherent, persuasive, and thoughtful. But don't go for more than three paragraphs, keep it simple and light and open. A random typo is ok, but if you know you're typing sucks, use a word processor.

Be yourself.

Don't use trite phrases- anything with SSC, anything about respecting limits, anything about getting to know me as a person before a slave, anything about keeping me safe...anything that's a "duh" should not be in a first email. It lets me know you don't have anything more original to say than what you read on the first page of any bdsm webpage out there and that you don't think I have the judgement to sort out the dorks on my own.

Show why you are unique unto yourself.

Never complain, never give a long list of don'ts and do not try and prove something. For some reason guys think having a BA in philosophy means that I will be uber-attracted to them if they challenge some philosophical construct in an email to me. Unfortunately they usually lack training to even do a half decent job of it, and it shows they aren't interested in getting to know ME.

Accept that you may send the perfect first email, and yet get no response at all. It might be a bad day for her, it might be the wrong time, it might be a million things, but sometimes it's not a good match. Accept it and write to someone else.

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 1:11:44 PM

Arcain

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/26/2005
Status: offline

Ahh, good plan that woman, I'll bare that in mind. It's just been a bane/struggle to find the right balance.

I'll try it, hey it's worth a try. Don't you hate it when you try and your efforts are ignored?

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 1:22:11 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

Greetings,

I typically start off with a simple hello, then what caught my eye about their profile and why, perhaps a simple introduction of yourself, then invite them to contact me back if they are interested.

Sweet and simple.

I would definatly stay way from form emails or those cookie cutter emails that are sent out to every female some contact. Most find those obvious and lazy among things.

Blessed Be,
Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 1:22:33 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Good advice, be yourself. Be honest in your comments, whether it be about their appearance or their profile. It's a good way to get started.

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 3:13:12 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Midear Arcain-

No matter what else, do be sure to include a photo of your gentials.

Chicks dig the cockshot...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 7:56:44 PM

OscarHargraves

Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline

I'll disagree with Topcat. I think a good Vanilla shot of you is more interesting to a woman the first time........

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 8:00:56 PM

felineone

Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear Arcain-

No matter what else, do be sure to include a photo of your gentials.

Chicks dig the cockshot...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

gotta love the sarcasm

(in reply to topcat)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 8:30:11 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: felineone

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Midear Arcain-

No matter what else, do be sure to include a photo of your gentials.

Chicks dig the cockshot...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

gotta love the sarcasm

M. Lawrence is my hero, I can only pray to be half as sarcastic as he is on a bad day. *winks to him*

Nika{Phoenix}

_____________________________

"Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it."

(in reply to felineone)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 8:31:07 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I did this the past few days -- just looked for folks who met my general criteria but are frankly too far away to pursue anything with (by my decision, I hate long distance).

When I found a nice photo or a well-written profile I just sent a note that said "that was a nice photo" or "I think your profile is very well written". My plan wasn't to start huge conversations just to let them know that someone looked.

However, I also noted while reading that many of the profiles were one sentence long or very generic in terms of declaring "real slave" status or just listing interests and the mythical "no limits". I didn't send notes to those.

I've gotten a few nice notes from folks of completely the wrong scene role just sayin gthey liked my picture or welcome to the website. It made me feel good so I thought I'd try to pass that along.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 9:30:06 PM

xanderzzz

Posts: 24
Joined: 9/21/2005
Status: offline

I always try to write something unique that is in their profile. I always keep it vanilla outside of maybe a statement that we might have a lot in common.

I also try to add something vanilla about me that is not in my profile.

At the end I always nicely ask them to look at my profile and reply if they have any interest.

I usually get ignored from the ones only looking for erotic email attention and do get many "no thanks" which are always appreciated.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: A first hello - 10/15/2005 10:09:34 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Chicks dig the cockshot...

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA OMGOMGOMG

I really needed that laugh!!!

Thanks, luv.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: A first hello - 10/15/2005 10:46:25 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Midear Arcain-

No matter what else, do be sure to include a photo of your gentials.

Chicks dig the cockshot...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to Arcain)
Report | Post #: 7

RE: A first hello - 10/13/2005 7:56:44 PM

OscarHargraves
Indecent

Posts: 179
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline I'll disagree with Topcat. I think a good Vanilla shot of you is more interesting to a woman the first time........

I think he was attempting humor - maybe I'm wrong but I gut laughed on reading his response.

D (owner of j).

(in reply to topcat)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: A first hello - 10/15/2005 10:56:59 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

When you're reading through a profile and you see someone you like, what do you put, what do you say.... what do people want to hear?

I'd like to offer you something here but as I've posted elsewhere my reponse rate is zero (when contacting people via a PM) whether I spend hours on it or 5-10 minutes of reading their profile and responding with 2-4 sentences.

Saying something that indicates you have read their ad - definitely a good idea. Only from the perspective that I have received e-mails from (seemingly) random folks and thought "what are you on and would you please take less of it?"

I think that when the right one(s) come along that the necessary steps will be taken on all sides to make it happen.

I think we all wish it would happen NOW (I know I do) as compared to perhaps a few years or decades from now.

D (owner of j)

(in reply to Arcain)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: A first hello - 10/15/2005 11:15:03 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Saying something that indicates you have read their ad - definitely a good idea. Only from the perspective that I have received e-mails from (seemingly) random folks and thought "what are you on and would you please take less of it?"

Just to clarify a bit here, I have received valid e-mail from people - just not all of them. To those that have taken the time - thank you.

D (owner of j)

(in reply to Wolfie648)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: A first hello - 10/16/2005 3:17:46 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

MizSuz:
BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA OMGOMGOMG

I really needed that laugh!!!

Thanks, luv.

Madam-

Anything for your smile...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to MizSuz)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: A first hello - 10/16/2005 3:44:30 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. Oscar-

While I was joking, one should remember that a picture is worth a thousand words...

a response to a full frontal nude
(scroll down to the twelth post, from GoddessJules)

Stay warm,
Lawrence

< Message edited by topcat -- 10/16/2005 3:46:12 PM >

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: A first hello - 10/16/2005 4:55:38 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

No matter what else, do be sure to include a photo of your gentials.

Chicks dig the cockshot...

Be honest with yourself, though, your future is at stake here. It might be better to send a shot of someone ELSE'S genitals.

If she falls in love with you, the truth won't matter.

Serious reply to the original post, though....just write as though you weren't in collarme.com. Let me know you're interested in me the person, not just as your fantasy slave. If your mind is so juvenile that you have to ask how I wear my pubic hair in the opening conversation, then go back to the locker room. Just say the same things you would over coffee: How are you, what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc. The BDSM basics are already in the profile. You should be getting to know each other as people, not as Master/slave. There's plenty of time for that later.

Good luck!
windchymes

(in reply to topcat)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: A first hello - 10/18/2005 6:55:16 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

Madam-

Anything for your smile...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

Well then get ready because I'm in the new house (although I haven't a clue when I'll be SETTLED into the new house). It's just about time for a road trip, eh???

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to topcat)

Profile

Post #: 20