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Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 4:06:35 PM   
SubMaxMinn


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		My own view of how a slave should behave is to be quiet, demure,
respectful, etc.  I have kind of been taught that a slave should most
often speak when spoken to, and not try to be the "life of the party",
or control, direct or initiate much in the way of conversation. 
This, however, might leave the slave as a sort of "boring" entity. 

So, my question is: how much "personality" do most Dommes prefer
their slave to have and do your behavior expectations vary depending
upon whether you are in a "play" mode or not?

Sub Max Minnesota
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 4:16:01 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I expect my subs to have some personality.  I prefer them with a sense of humor and intelligence.

As a slave myself, my Master likes my wit, my creativity, and my innate knowledge of when to suppress them and simply follow instructions.  He has been very clear with me that if I had no personality that He would use my body but not enjoy His time with me.

In my eyes there is a time an place for truly expressing yourself.  Emails or phone time can be very good places for being "yourself", while in the middle of a session is not typically a good time to be a smart ass.


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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 4:17:09 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I like a slave to be all the things you described in your first paragraph, when it's appropriate to the setting or my desires.  They should be *able* to be those things.

However, assuming you're asking about interactions other than pure-service arrangements, they need to have a good personality.  I don't like anyone who is over-the-top or very boastful or very loud, but I *do* want someone around me who can joke, be social and friendly to me and others in those situations, has some passions in life, and generally outgoing.

I'll tell someone when they need to tone it down for my preferences, but I hate having to try and drag a sub into talking or  doing something out.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 4:17:15 PM   
khem


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think it would really depend on how the personality manifested itself and the actions that went along with it.  I like being social, so I don't think I would be entirely happy if tthe person I was with wasn't able to be an active part of conversation.  As long as the person isn't being an ass and embarassing me, I think personality is a good thing.  Also, I'd say as long as their personality isn't getting in the way of performing whatever tasks they'd been asked to do.

What I would not enjoy is a constant power struggle that comes from a snotty personality.  Call me old fashioned, but I dislike having to prove anything or fight for control.  I view it as someone offering submission-not me beating them up and taking it from them like a school bully in a battle of wills.

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 5:56:16 PM   
submissiveboy76


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		I think that a BDSM relationship is very much like a vanilla relationship in that qualities like respect, trust, open and honest communication, mutual interests, and personality compatibility are important.  Different people are attracted to different personality types.  I don't think there's anything wrong with a sub being witty, interesting, or humerous, so long as he knows his place.  I can't imagine that a Domme would want a boring, wallflower sub, but if they do, then that's the type they should seek.  

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 6:17:57 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		I like a man with multiple personalities.  Keeps the relationship interesting. 

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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 6:21:36 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubMaxMinn

My own view of how a slave should behave is to be quiet, demure,
respectful, etc. . . . 

Sub Max Minnesota


ZZZZZZZ.  That *would* put me to sleep, except the "respectful" part.  If he engages in behaviour that I find obnoxious, I'll simply beat it out of him.  A win-win situation all 'round.

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 6:35:07 PM   
LRODANDMASTER


Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		I USALLY LIKE A BIG PERSONALITY ON A SUB BUTT HONESTLY IT DEPENDS ON THE GIRL BECUZ U KNOW I AM OPENMINDED.  SOMETIMES A SUB LOOKS REALLY CUTE WITH A SMALLER PERSONALITY.

(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/27/2008 7:20:16 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		mine depends on the situation. If Im sober (I am a very crazy in a good way drunk), and I havent done anything exciting (i.e., playing a show, good scene, etc.) Im usually pretty quiet. However, if Im jacked up, look out! Im harmless, even if Im prone to making an ass of myself

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You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 1:37:05 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		This question is linked to the doormat thread that was circulating last week.  Submissive is not the same as lifeless.  Having a robust, fully formed personality is not the same thing as being a smart-assed jerk.  The image that was formed from your first paragraph was a dull-eyed automaton ... and I typically like demure!  (smiling)

What works for me is someone who is robust, but who can be bent in a way that I like.  (being there all the time ... snoozer)  Two of my favorite submissives were intensely locquacious, intelligent men who could be brought to a place where their mind chatter slowed down and they could be used by me.  Hot!

MSS

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 2:38:18 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: khem

I think it would really depend on how the personality manifested itself and the actions that went along with it.  I like being social, so I don't think I would be entirely happy if tthe person I was with wasn't able to be an active part of conversation.  As long as the person isn't being an ass and embarassing me, I think personality is a good thing.  Also, I'd say as long as their personality isn't getting in the way of performing whatever tasks they'd been asked to do.

What I would not enjoy is a constant power struggle that comes from a snotty personality.  Call me old fashioned, but I dislike having to prove anything or fight for control.  I view it as someone offering submission-not me beating them up and taking it from them like a school bully in a battle of wills.



What khem said!
 
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 3:26:02 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I don't keep slaves... as in 24/7, cringing, boot licking brown nosers.  Where's the fun in that?  I've got three dogs with fur.  I like a sub with some back bone.  I've got one that's down right Plucky who makes me laugh every single time he starts getting all bitchy about something or other.  It's just his (Switch) nature and I find it amusing.

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It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 4:20:41 AM   
LadyJeelys


Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline 		Wow, that description is completely different from what I want in a sub. My pet is smart, funny, quick witted, talkative, cranky, etc. In otherwords, he's a whole person--a person that I really like and respect.

(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 4:48:02 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I like an intelligent sub with a great sense of humor. No he isn't the life of the party but he isn't the shrinking violet either, we both have personalities that run along those lines. He is respectful, courteous and helpful.
When in play mode he can be sexy, funny, bratty but always obedient. I am proud of my sub, he is a wonderful person and never ceases to amaze me.

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 5:16:37 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i like mine to have thoughts, opinions and conversations with me that will last for hours as well as hobbies and other interests. i do prefer that they have a life beyond our D/s dynamic. if they don't, i would get very bored rather easily.




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...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


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(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 5:55:28 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		How a slave should behave is entirely dependent on what the owner/master/mistress/dom wants and the two of them have negotiated.

I'm sure some will disagree but I believe that until you are in such a dynamic you are not a slave any more than I'm an owner until I'm in such a dynamic.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 8:23:17 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubMaxMinn
quiet, demure, respectful, etc.  I have kind of been taught that a slave should most
often speak when spoken to, and not try to be the "life of the party",
or control, direct or initiate much in the way of conversation. 


So, my question is: how much "personality" do most Dommes prefer
their slave to have and do your behavior expectations vary depending
upon whether you are in a "play" mode or not?


My boys have never been accused of being demure. Angel is quite rambunctious and Fox can be the life of the party if he so choose. I dont see a reason someone submissive to me should be lackluster in the social department. They are, after all, only submissive to me not to everyone else at a party. I have my boys becasue I love their personalities. Angel and I can talk for hours about ridiculous things, most of the onverstions he initiates. We can go out and have fun playing, go out with groups and be amused for hours, but that doesnt hange his submission to me.
Fox can be loud, talkative, animated and argumentative on occasion. We get into discussions about things that we disagree with. HE is stil my slave, and always will be, but we dont have to share opinions.

Just my 2 cents. I like my boys to be individuals who choose to submit, not fit into some mold for submissives or slaves.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 9:52:12 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		While I do like a certain demureness, my husband isn't very. On the other hand, in a life partner, I need someone who is just as strong as I am in the personality department...anything less and I'd lose my ability to respect him/her in time. In my case, I wasn't looking for what I got, but got what I needed and, in the end, what I wanted, too.

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RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 11:14:18 AM   
MladyHathor


Posts: 510
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Just big enough to fit inside of Mine.

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The Mistress Hathor, always and forever, much to the disdain and discomfort of others.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Slave's personality - how big ? - 4/28/2008 11:55:40 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		If you are acting as a Butler, Maid  or Majordomo I expect that personae to be everything they are. Unobtrusive, alert, knowledgable and capable of action without instruction every 5 seconds. Perfect service is rewarded. rewards are based on knowledge of the subject.

If you are Furniture, well you get as much say as furniture does. Grin, grunt and bear it. I know your load limit.

If we are Dancing, let me see the fire in your soul, iginite the passion in mine and see how hotly we can burn without burnout.

The rest of the time, you had better be a human with all the quirks and personality traits of being human and not a woven doormat. I like having people to talk to, argue with and share things with...even my dogs and the cat talk back, they obey but they are allowed to speak. A snap of my fingers or a hand pointing and they obey even as they protest.

Poenkitten aka MC


(in reply to SubMaxMinn)
Profile   Post #: 20
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